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« How To Find Love (What To Do Right & What You're Doing Wrong) | Main | Unhappy Relationship, Fix it or Leave It (You do have a choice) »

The Love of Your Life At least You Thought, Why Are You So Miserable?

I was watching a show the other day where a couple met and hit it off. At first it seems as if he liked her so much that he wanted to spend all his time with her. As days went by it was blossoming into a beautiful relationship. She started to realize that what she thought was he’s sincere approach to show that he cared and loved her was turning more into strange and unwanted behavior. It started off in my eyes when they were on vacation which they went with a group for her sister’s husband birthday to Hawaii. He wanted to manipulate all her time with him alone. They missed the party boat that went out for the day that was to join the birthday boy in some fun in the sun. At first this was okay with her because she’s thinking it was a romantic getaway. We’ll at least that’s what she thought. Then when getting ready to meet up for the birthday dinner for her brother n law he was controlling her by telling her what to wear from what dress, to what shoes to even her jewelry. His behavior became even stranger when he told her friends that they were talking badly about him, which they were actually talking nicely and at this point he was just creepy to me. At dinner her sister confronted her that she missed the plane to go with them to get to Hawaii. Then they missed the party boat and her sister was upset with them and trying to explain her point of view. While the two sisters were going back and forth this guy is trying to put a blanket around her I guess he thought she was cold, and was basically on top of her trying to hold her hand and wiping her place mat. If this wasn’t strange enough, not really being his business he said “we don’t care”. At this point they two of them got up and left. As time was going by he was getting worse. She couldn’t go anywhere alone. She couldn’t talk on the phone and if she did talk on the phone or something that he wasn’t involved with he would get very upset. He started to put her down all the time, also saying that she was a big mess. The good thing is she finally opened up to a friend which in turn told her sister. The two sisters finally sat and talked. She told her sister he was so mean and controlling with her that she cried every day. With the support of her friend and sister it helped her to get strong enough to put an end to her unhappiness. She loved him very much but didn’t think she could live like this any longer. The love she did have for him at one time was turning more into anxiety and a stressful union. So she confronted him and it finally came to an end. Sometimes people come into your life and they seem like they are helping you, protecting you and loving you. Although they may love you, you may come to find they are not quite the person you thought they were. Nor are they the person you met that just wanted to make you happy. When you get to know them well enough that they feel a little more comfortable to open up to their real personality, you realize their ways are suffocating you and you can’t live like this. This is a form of abuse, to have anyone talk down to you. It doesn’t matter if you are a guy or a girl. Any form of control or making you feel uncomfortable to the point that you can’t be yourself you need to get out. If you are with a person that is telling you how to dress, okay guys need help sometimes, J or what you can or cannot do. Even worse is pouting, come on how are we. I see so many red flags in different relationships. People stay and they become use to this behavior which is unhealthy and it becomes part of everyday normal life. If you have family or friends stating to you that things are not right in your relationship please listen and don’t disregard. What they are saying is because they are most likely right and only have your best interest at heart. If you do hear this or feel this you may need to go for counseling. There is free counseling for relationship abuse. Verbal abuse can hurt and do as much damage as physical abuse. It is never too late to get out and get help. Barbara Jeanne xo

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