Before You Throw Your Marriage Away: Here's Mini Couseling to Jump Start it Back Up!

                        What once was a happy union has now changed into sleeping with the enemy. You barely talk, touch or share much of anything. You almost dislike this person that you said I do to. So is this the end of your story and are you going to live the rest of your life as such? Or do you think there is a chance to rekindle what you had. Well that depends on both of you, can you open your mind to wipe the slate clean from the hurt and the pain you have endured from your partner. It has to be both of you; it cannot be just one of you working to save this failing marriage. Next question would be… how? It will take patience, work and for you to put aside the crap you have done, felt and seen from the time your union started to slide downwards. You have to first know that it is easy to meet people but it is a bitch to actually find someone that will be on your page of life that will be ready as you are and in the direction you going. What am I trying to say? You can meet many people but for it to actually turn into what you may want at some given point is very hard. So before you get the suitcases out to either leave or put them at the door for your spouse to exit I want to make it clear single people are having the hardest time finding a partner that even wants a relationship let alone the always and forever. You may feel you are okay with that and this is absolutely fine but before you exit the marriage and start the divorce make sure you won’t want to change your mind. Okay now that I made that crystal clear, how do you even have a chance to rekindle what you may have had? You both need to sit first and go through your photo album of when you two got married. Talk about why you took that walk down the aisle. Reminisce on dates you had prior to I do. The funny things that happened that made you two laugh and laugh. Although I am divorced I can think back to things that we did that puts a smile on my face. See if you feel any connection at all you still have much work. Go on a romantic date, where no fighting is allowed. This is the number one rule. Dress to impress one another. Give a budget to go get something new, especially for the ladies. If your budget is tight, find something that makes you feel pretty and make it a point to notice and tell you partner how nice they look. Talk about positive things that you wish to do or have in the future. You are not doing this all in one day. Make a date night every week and keep it. You have videos, photos if you have children see all the reasons you two bonded. The struggle you have had the brought you together. Talk about all the problems or reason why you two may have fallen out of love or touch. You still may have feelings deep down for your spouse if you can lift the problems. Find out where things may have taken a wrong turn. By getting reacquainted with your mate and taking the time to talk and show you do care it may trigger better memories. Touch, hug and show you still care. This is probably one of the reasons where you went wrong. I know that when I got divorced I didn’t want anything to do with my guy. I was the one that wanted out because he had anger issues but I feel that I see him now and he has grown into a good man. (I got married very young). So don’t throw away a person before you see if they are willing to change and can give each other what you are both looking for. Start to rebuild good memories to replace them with the sour ones. You could be on your way to repairing you marriage. When you see you that you may be able to like them again, you may find that your heart can be open to loving them as well. As these weeks go by and you are building a better foundation you will begin to realize maybe you two do have a future together. Once you are out on your own and you see what you have, you might have second thoughts. So make sure you do give it a chance before you say, this sucks and Barbara was right! Barbara Jeanne xo