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Breaking up is always a hard thing to do especially if you care about the person but somehow you just lost that loving feeling. Now days there are so many forms of breaking up. You can IM them, E Mail them or even text them but are any of these really the right way to go about it.
Some people think 2 dates is dating others feel 20 is not yet in a relationship. This is why it’s important to be on the same page. If it is someone that you met on line and don’t have much of a relationship you can let it fade out and they will get the message. Although in that case I guess it’s just as easy to send a quick message via internet saying I’ve moved on. It’s always nice to be kind.
If you have gone on one or two or three dates, not calling is breaking up, but after some kind of romantic and sexual encounters, it is a courtesy to call. You would expect the same, especially if you liked the person. Just to give them the courtesy of asking why, or any questions they might have for you dumping them. Sometimes it's easier not to call, and there are people, who will just run away. They just want to leave it behind. Is it the right thing to do no, but people do it and stop to think later “that wasn’t so nice”.
People have Internet relations for a long time and then elevate to phone calls. Sometimes it takes a long time for a face-to-face encounter. This can be problematic, because people get very involved with each other and then when they finally meet, there are so many other cues that indicate they're not suited for one another.
People will go out with someone they met on a dating site, and then you can see that person you went out with or even are having some sort of a relationship with surfing the Net and looking for someone else. This not only hurts your feelings, you can say blah, blah, blah but they will give you an excuse and continue. That is one of the problems of internet dating. It’s almost you see me and you see me not. This is far less subtle than, say, acting cold on a date or not calling when you said you would. Although they hurt just as well.
Social networking sites, such as Facebook or Google +, allows users to post comments on one another's pages, but they should never be used to end a romantic relationship. If it's a casual encounter, a text message is OK. But to my mind, it's better to call and speak or go out to dinner if you have been dating or even if it is just a sexual relationship. Now if it is a relationship that was serious allow them to ask question, give them time to soak it in and be gentle in your tone of voice. Remember if it was a more serious relationship deep feelings came into play, so give them the respect that they deserve, that they were someone special to you and you still care.
Tell them why, don’t let them walk away guessing at the break up date, they might not have all the questions they want to ask. But the big one I am sure is “why”? Why are you breaking up with me and why don’t you love me anymore. Is it okay to lie no but if you don’t want to hurt their feeling I would say, it’s better to lie than to put them down with all their short comings. Then this person you are trying to dump will go into a spiel on how they can change and now you’re getting into deep.
It’s best to keep it short to the point and do not give them hope to get back together. If you know for a while and you start not to call them or see them as much, don’t do this. It’s wrong; this is hurting the person more. Do the right thing. As soon as you know get it over with, so you don’t draw out the hurt feelings and you both can try to let it go and move on. Be as direct and honest as you can. Don't engage in tit-for-tat arguments. Stick to the facts: It's not working, it's no one's fault, and we need to make a change.
Don’t say we can stay friends, or I’ll talk to you tomorrow. That leaves room for hope. Maybe in the distant future you two can be friends but for now try to go cold turkey and don’t fall for the person that was dumped thinking up reasons to call. As well as the person being dumped, don’t stalk or call for random reason, it will prolong the healing process. Give it a month or two before trying the friend thing.
Last, learn from each relationship, think of the things you liked and the things you do not want in your next relationship. Don’t stalk or keep thinking what if. Keep yourself busy with friends and activities. If you need to have your cry and then pick yourself up and let it go. Don’t beat yourself up for what was. Yes it hurts like hell but always remember you lived without them before you met and you will make it after. Barbara Jeanne xo