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Tuesday
Jan012013

Let Me Give You the Tools to Find Love: It's Time, A New Year...

        A new year is upon us and what has changed since last year? Well let’s say that will be up to each and every one of us. One thing that hasn’t changed is that people want to find another. But what they truly want to find I’m not sure. Is it love, a relationship or is it just sex? What they want to find in another is very questionable and I hear it daily. Why do I say that? For one the ratio of singles to relationships is 70% to 30%. That being there is a lot of single people out there. Although there are many dating and social sites out there, what is it we are really looking for from people? Let’s make it the year to be brutally honest. I have seen so many broken hearts last year thinking that they found love only to be hurt. The hurt comes from a person truly investing time in someone saying they are looking to be loved. But they either aren’t being honest, can’t or don’t want to commit or they are playing with people’s emotions. Sometimes so easily they don’t even realize, or maybe they do which makes them suck as a person. There can’t be a relationship police to go around and tell everyone off that is deceiving people. There can be someone that shows you how to be aware of the red flags and that is where I come in. This year I am going to teach people when to walk away before you invest too many feeling and too much time. When you see one red flag that is the warning sign to walk away, yes I would say tough love but put it this way. If a person is interested they will be there for you front and center.  They don’t come around one day I’m here and the next you are waiting to hear from them. Nor would you have a relationship where they disappear and you are wondering where they went and puff oh here they are again because they either didn’t find someone else or they need a fill in until they find the next. Do not allow to be played with and if you are not sure listen to what I have to say and you will first off learn the signs to run and second learn to find the people that are ready for love. You can find love but you need to have the tools to know when it’s real and when it’s not. And I will give you the tools to find and achieve a real healthy happy relationship. Barbara Jeanne xo

Sunday
Dec162012

How To Know If They Want to Date or Want a Relationship?

I talk to people daily and some have the right idea about finding love. They get to know the persons mind. What kind of heart they have. But there is more than this to finding the right person and real love. So many times you can have a good guy or girl well it may seem this way, but you also may see red flags and you keep putting them on the back burner. The problem is that this person has so many red flags that all the burners are taking up. So here are a few ways to keep you on top of the game. And know you are not crazy; you have the right to think this person is not doing right by me. First off you have to realize dating and having a relationship are two different things. So if you meet in person or on line and start to talk and maybe go on a date, you still are on dating terms. They still don’t have to call you every day. But, if they send you a text, or you send a text their way, I firmly believe that it only take seconds to respond. So unless an emergency came up you should get a reply in a timely manner. If you feel in your gut things were going well and the slowed down or stopped then you should put this person on the back burner. Instead of pushing the matter, let it go and if it is right they will come back around. That should not mean that if they text you every once in a while you should be jumping up and down. It’s a text and you could be one of many. If you feel things are going well but they may not be ready to commit they may be a great person, even a great catch but not ready for a relationship will lead you to unhappy heart many or most of the times. So if you are just interested in casual dating than that is fine. You have to separate the two because dating and a relationship are two totally different things. Most of the times if things are right and you are the right person it starts right out of the gate. You are special to them from the get go. They need not look further. But if you have met one of the type of people that wants to feel the freshness of the excitement of the new relationship, the challenge, to conquer they will keep hurting you over and over. There is nothing you can say or do to get them off the cycle. They can either be addicted to looking for something else or may be addicted to the search. Either way if you are looking for a relationship they are not for you. Remember dating relationships are different so you have to know if you two are on the same page. How will you know? I do understand they can be telling you everything you want to hear, am I right? Well actions speaks louder than words so if they start acting flakey you know to move on and it will stop you from getting as hurt. Once you invested your heart then you are most likely to get hurt. So watch for signs that are matching to what they say. If their calling and texting gets less then you pretty much know where you stand because if it is right and they are ready they will be there for you front and center and you will know that this my dear, is the beginning of a relationship. Barbara Jeanne xo

Monday
Dec102012

You Meet Someone & You Can't Figure Out areThey Into You or Not?

             Many hearts are breaking everyday all over the world. Why? Because the person they are crushing on, falling for, or are in love with is not reciprocating the same feelings back. People are wearing their emotions on their sleeve only to be shut down. Ouch that doesn’t just sting it can make you feel like your heart is actually breaking. So what is lack of showing that you care? Well for beginners it could be that you didn’t take time to at least text to say a quick hello. You don’t ever bother to call. If you cared you would want to hear their voice. Want to see what they were up to. Almost as if you, well…miss them. You wish that although they aren’t they would be with you, by your side. If they don’t call… just to put it out there loud and clear, it literally takes seconds to text. And if you can’t manage to do that where is it that you are showing interest. To answer a text days later is straight up rude. To say sorry it took so long to get back to you, unless it was an emergency there is no reason for this. Hey how are you, how long does that take to text? At this point I would have to say it’s time to call it a day on this person. If they can’t reach out to you they either don’t care much about you, are seeing someone else, or are not interested in a relationship at this time. Whatever the case may be if you want to be in a relationship and you are barely getting a hello, please think twice that you do deserve and you should want more than this. This is not care or love and I hate to say it, you are not the one. So if you must you can tell them how you feel, but do expect much of a change. You should not have to ask to be loved. Barbara Jeanne xo

Sunday
Dec092012

Best Ways to be Successful at On Line Dating

Why is it that people go on every social site from Facebook to Plenty of Fish, Match.Com, to E Harmony and the list goes on without success? Could it be that all these sites can’t match people? Remember these sites are here to bring two people that meet to begin to talk together. From this point it is the two people that meet to get to know one another and to see if there is chemistry over the internet. From there you two might go on to speak on the phone. If all goes well from here then usually you two go on to meet. The person that you meet may be everything you thought but many, many times they are not. So even if you give them a whirl, as you get to know them more and more you know they are not the one for you. So you continue to look, but that is something most people do anyway. There is not that much loyalty in meeting and seeing where it goes with one person. There are just too many out there to just see one many think. And this goes for both women and men. Next the more I am hearing women and men do not know how to treat their newly found friend. Even if they do like you, this still isn’t enough. Continuing to look for a better suited person, you look and look until you come to the realization that this doesn’t work, or does it? Could it be we just don’t know how to go about getting that relationship the one that we will want for always and forever? Maybe we think that is impossible so we look for the person for right now and move on to the next. This leaves us eventually unfulfilled, wanting to find the real deal. But I truly believe we need to work on ourselves. Work on how we treat people, especially the person we are looking to fall in love with. We need to treat them with respect. Men need to act like gentlemen and women needs to act like ladies. Please try not to get too much into the sex talk before you have at least gotten to know the person and become close and hopefully have met. And remember restraining from sex before the commitment helps keep the want to see you. As you do so you are building a foundation of a relationship. Yes monogamy until you get into a relationship that you feel that having sex is more than just sex. Closer to making love, then you know it is right. Kissing is the best foreplay and teasing is a must. As you are getting closer it is extremely fun to fondle, touch and have the want to have the other person. But before you give yourself and do this, you should know if you care for this person and they care for you. This way you will not be hurt if you give yourself to someone only to see them surfing the net or your site after your encounter. This may happen anyway and you will be hurt but you know that it wasn’t you. Sadly you have chosen someone that doesn’t care if they play with another person’s emotions. Ladies should speak, act and conduct themselves as such and if you do not, please learn. Men should open the door, take the lady out, even if it you don’t have the money. If you’re short on cash then plan something inexpensive, fun, use your imagination. But it’s important. None of this come and hang out at my house. Girls, ladies and women you should not accept this. You need to be able to have a good conversation, to get the want to continue to talk and to see one another. And you need to show you are well rounded. This is what most people lack. If you are looking for a ten and don’t want to accept less then you should be a ten. If you are open to meeting different people you have a better chance at meeting the right one. Having an open mind and heart will give you the ability to have a bigger choice. Please work at being someone you would want to be with. And last of all don’t accept being plan b or a booty call. You will stay that role always. You will find love by being open and stay away from the people that you see the big red flags. Barbara Jeanne xo

Sunday
Nov112012

Love Should Lift You, Not Make You Cry!

Love is so powerful it may be the only thing that can really change your emotions, ruin your day or make it brighter. It can control you, almost take you over. The only other thing that may do this is children, or a really bad job. Love is something that should bring you up, when you are feeling down. It is so powerful, it can make you smile, make your heart beat faster or even skip a beat. If these aren’t what you are getting from your love relationship, then take a step back and see why not. I am not saying you are supposed to never argue, never disagree, but as a whole it should be a positive situation in your life. If you aren't thinking this, next, say to yourself why? Ok, let me give you a few that are positive. Does your partner touch you and say I love you on a regular base. If you are in a new relationship, it should feel, like on unspoken word but not yet said. If it already has been said great but it is something that needs constant reinforcement, not like work by actions that you want to do. Sometimes you know it is love from the get go, just a feeling. Does your mate, think of things to make you smile, laugh, brighten your day. Do they answer when you call and are they glad to hear from you? Do they call, not text. Don't allow yourself to get into a texting relationship. Your lover, partner should want to hear your voice no matter how busy they may be, or how new the relationship is. It takes two seconds to call. What did they do before cells? Their butts found somehow to find a phone and to call you during the day. Now that it is easier than ever, people won't do it. It is almost like a child rebelling. When they should do something, then they won't. Anyway, back to the main subject. Do they want to spend time with you? Even if you are married, you should be spending quality time, even if it is ten, twenty minutes. Talk, ask each other, how are you, how was your day. Touch, hug, and kiss! Try to even get a quickie in. It is normal if you are not always in the mood, but you have to have the want to have sex, make love. If you don’t…ever, you are not heading in the right direction. So before it's too late remember. Try a little care and tenderness, each and every day. Relationships are hard to find. Good relationships are even harder to find. Either way it takes work. Some are easier than others. Remember also, you can go from one relationship to another until you realize, you will have to work out it. Love doesn’t make you hurt, doesn't make you sad and sure as hell doesn't make you cry because they broke your heart. Sometimes over and over, in that case LET IT GO and MOVE ON. Someone beautiful is waiting to love you! BARBARA JEANNE xo