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Friday
Jul062012

The Economy Is Taking A Toll On The Finances & Relationships (Heres's Help)

In today’s society things are a becoming more challenging than ever trying to juggle the money coming in, or should I say the lack of money coming in. People that never thought they would be on the unemployment line are now humbling themselves to even go for food stamps. Men of the family are taking jobs way below what they were doing and women tend to try to keep the rest of the household together. The only problem is what the man is bringing in is not enough so women who were not used to working or working at a higher position are now too taking lower paying jobs. It is putting a strain not just on the budget but the relationship. This struggle with finances seems to be breaking apart relationships that were once strong by their easier life style. We either have a choice to suck it up be strong and stick it out hoping calmer times are coming in the near future, or let it go and try to make it on your own. Me? I would stick it out for two reasons, when the going gets tough, you get going? Is that how it is supposed to work, or do you think this is your family through thick and thin you are going to work it out?  I’m going with working it out. Do not put blame on one, nor make one fell small for not bringing home what is needed. If you need more, then you both need to get you butts out and get work. Do not have the man working numerous jobs while the wife and mommy sit at home, this bring resentment. A dad can watch the children just as the mom does, so women don’t feel that you need to stay home to tend to the house is a priority. With this economy you both need to be out their working. As for what is ahead, we are pretty much rock bottom so hopefully we can only go up from here. Until these situations exist we need to stay strong and keep the family together. Remember you are teaching the children an important message, when the going got tough you got tougher and stayed strong and kept the family together. This is an incredible message to show and teach the children. If you do fight remember not in front of the children. They are what you teach them, so teach them right and teach them well. Barbara Jeanne xo

Monday
Jun252012

How To Get Over Someone That Has Gotten Over You!

It has come that moment that you have been dreading, the break up and although deep down you might know it is the right thing. I mean this person is not treating you their best and that is what you deserve. Isn’t that how you treat them? You think about them constantly, you wonder if they are okay. If you are at the store you pick up their favorite snack. You text them, call them and show them how much you care. Somehow you are not getting any of those things back. When they do call or text you get all warm and excited but as soon as the next day comes and there is no text or call you’re back to square one feeling devastated.  Most of the time you walk around in a daze, between being unhappy and being confused you aren’t yourself. All this being said, you know the time has come to part your ways, say your good bye but why does it hurt so much. You invested so much love into this person. Not even the time but love. You put their needs first, given it you’re all and they don’t want you. It literally sucks and what worse you can’t do much about it but suck it up, maybe cry and try to keep going. I can’t say your pain will go away quickly or you will get him back. I can say what I did and it helped me heal a hell of a lot quicker. Although the guy I was dating for over four years wanted me back, the thought of going was not even a thought. So I too had to suck it up and let it go. I had all six seasons of Sex n The City, I watched every episode, I had just moved out from living with him and I had no living room furniture. So I would lie in my blankets wrapped up all on the floor and just did my own thing. I watch the show had my cry and this show actually made me stronger quicker. I listened to all my music that made me strong, a lot of I’ll do better without you songs. After a brief period, way shorter than I thought I was up, out and moving on. I met my new guy about a week later. My ex was stunned when he walked into a restaurant and saw me having dinner with my new guy. All he had to say was I never thought you would move on so quickly. So if you are in the same situation where you have broken up, need to break up or you know it’s a possibility. Know you can do it; you lived life without them before you met them and you will live life again without them. You will survive, and you will also leave yourself open to meeting someone worth your love. Barbara Jeanne xo

Friday
Jun222012

When Looking For A Partner....

When looking for a partner you have an idea of what you like, the qualities that may be important to you. Working in gyms for many years I heard girls and women of all ages talking about their dates. The first questions they would ask, was he cute, what did he drive and what does he do. Although it goes deeper as the conversation goes on but standing there over hearing these conversations it always struck me a bit funny. Always thinking shouldn’t they be asking was he nice, did he treat you like a lady, open your door. Maybe even did you have fun? Not asking if this guy you went out on a date with took you somewhere expensive? I am by no means saying girls are all superficial and let’s not leave out the men. Most men go into a room and they will zoom into the hot girl and think wow yeah that’s what I want. Who even know if this person is a nice woman? She may be but instead of even checking if they are off trying to get to know this girl you now are in conquer for. Even looking at dating sites, Facebook and sites like it, men are already trying to meet or talk to the girl they think are hot. So forward at times I wonder would a man act like this is person and if they did, do they think they would get the girl. Most men are sweet as well as the women, the point I am trying to make is, wouldn’t it be more important how the man or women treated you. If they are fun to be with and do the make you feel happy and good inside. Next do they have a job and if they go into a relationship with you they are willing to work together with you and be a team? If you are looking for a commitment are they as well. There are so many important things to look at before what the drive or what they spent on you. What you should be looking for is a person that you are interested in have a loving heart and is their loving heart aimed at loving you. Barbara Jeanne xo

Thursday
Jun212012

A Man Loving Their Women More Makes A Lasting Relationship? Yes!

My mom has given me good advice my whole life; everything she has taught me has always come to be true. She has always said the man should love the women more. This is one of the assets in how to have a lasting relationship. So although with what I have seen and learned from myself so far she is absolutely right. I still wanted to make sure this was good advice so I took this question to the streets and I ask one hundred couples. Out of the hundred couple this is what I learned and I guess already knew. The men said this advice was absolutely true. For those men that did love their wives more, till this day they feel they are still more in love with their wives. The way the spoke about their wives with such love and admiration was amazing. The wives would come back with “I love you” but not one disagreed that the men loved them more. So it is important that people need to stop chasing that person that you want to be with. If you two are meant to be and the person knows you, who you are and what you’re about they will come back. Do not wait on what could be, move on with your life and keep your options open. Second women need to stop loving that man that doesn’t love you back. It’s horrible for your self-esteem and it can start a pattern for you going for the wrong man. You can also start getting into the habit of being treated like crap. I am talking to men as well in this case. Both men and women need to put an end of those relationships where you are miserable and not being treated as you should. Also the person that loves more in the relationship controls the relationship. That doesn’t mean they are allow to treat you badly it means they are the ones that usually takes charge. So ladies let those men do the work. Allow them to come to you, most men, most of the time like the challenge and to be the hunter. Men if a woman shows no or little interest do not invest your time. Keep moving to someone that will appreciate you. Hopefully these few tips will make people think a bit, and how to go about getting into a good relationship. Barbara Jeanne xo

Wednesday
Jun202012

I Bleed & I Bruise But What's It To You (Stop Hurting the Person You Love)

Two people meet; some are in search for a hang out buddy. Other people are looking to enjoy each another’s company and to see where it might lead. We also have the people that are looking for a partner to fall in love and become that couple in hopes to last a lifetime. Although all intentions are good in each situation by both parties but as time goes by it seems to somehow begin to become an effort to be cordial at times. This is when you start hurting one another’s feelings to the point it leaves a permanent burn. When words come out of your mouth most times you are trying to hurt the person feelings because at this point you are so mad at them. Not thinking these words will not be able to be easily forgotten. It is not one single situation, it’s each time you fight and harsh words comes out that leaves a permanent mark in someone’s heart and on someone’s mind. This is where the big problem starts and where dislike comes into the picture. What you are doing is making memories, the bad ones that will or could start to be the beginning of the end. Yes you can get mad or upset at your partner but chose your words carefully. Do not pick words that hit below the belt, belittle the other or hurt them to the point they will begin to dislike you. This is what most definitely happens. This is a big reason that we do not make it to always and forever, our mouths and the hurt that comes from with it. Next it is our actions. With hurt words become the cold actions and it then snow balls into the wrong direction. Many times we can’t get back the love that we once had and many times you are throwing away a good thing because you are acting wrong. We are taught to treat people with care. Even if you may not have been taught this we learn from society. So what would make you think you can treat the person you love like shit and expect the best. Remember the hurtful things you say or do cannot be taken back. You are also teaching the person you are with how to treat you by how you treat them. So if you treat them with kind words and love this is what you should expect and get back in return. Even if you are mad and want to yell make sure it is in reason. This way you can hold you own, that you were right and their behavior was hurtful or wrong towards you. Remember two wrongs don’t make it right and people feelings do get hurt. What type of person do you want to be? How do you want to be treated and how do you want to treat the person that you say “I love you to”. Barbara Jeanne xo