When You Shouldn't Stay (Phyical Or Mental Abuse)

When is it time to call it a day on the relationship you are in? When it is abusive relationship? What is abusive? When you partner is constantly putting you down, making you feel worthless. When you feel like nothing you do is right or everything you are doing is wrong, and your partner is picking you apart, I would call this mental abusive. Even talking down to you as you mean nothing to them is a good time to bow out. We can’t forget name calling, yes that is abuse as well. When your partner is putting their hands on you in any other way besides loving is abuse. A smack, a slap, even a push, is physical abuse. It need not be a punch to be abusive. If you are always crying over this person, or if you are constantly thinking you don't want to be with this person but accept to stay that is you allowing to be abused. At this point you may need to seek professional help. If you hear this persons voice and you get disgusted you need to realize this union is coming to an end. I think you too realize these are signs that are telling you, your relationship is not doing well and may be your time to turn around and walk away. You can be a trooper and hang in there until it gets to the point of bitter and reckless, but if you have any pride bow out and let it go! You can become co-dependent on this person and think it’s just their personality and deep down they love you. Stop! Yes there is a saying you hurt the ones you love but that saying stinks and doesn’t really make sense. If anyone treats you crappy and hurts you they do it because they think you will accept it and by staying around is telling them you do accept it and they will continue. So either nip it in the butt and stop it and if it continues get out and fast. My guessing most people that are abusive don’t change unless they want to not by you telling them. By not allowing this behavior may smarten them up to realize they are going to lose you. If you don’t get the results you are looking for which is this person apologizing and stopping, then you need to move on. This gives you a chance to find someone that will love and appreciate you, the way you should be treated. Barbara Jeanne xo

Dating Sites?

The population of single people of all ages, seems to be turning to dating site for meeting their soul mate. We fill out a questionaire form, put up our best picture and wait for the dates to roll in. For some it does happen easily. For others, not so much. What do you do when you sign on and you have very few callers, do you become upset, of course you would, that would be only natural. I have heard people doing crazy things. Putting up a picture from twenty years ago. and that would be their main profile picture as well. Making the picture so dark, you couldn't see with a flash light. The best one that i have heard, is putting up someones elses picture and pose it as themselves. Hum, like at some point, the person you meet, isn't going to realize.  Men especially do this one. I mean to drop a couple years, okay , but to drop a decade. Hello, what are you thinking. So your sites up and you start talking, but it seems like alot of people I know seem to talk and talk and talk. Then after they are finally all talked out, they plan the date to only realize, it is a no go. I think that is what they may be afraid of and wait so long for the date.So it is best to email, talk and meet. Why waste time. Although, I think that is exactly what people want t o do. Just talk. Not so much date. So dating sites are chat sites during the week and you may get a date if the person you are talking to, doesn't have another date,  their children, respectfully so. or other plans. If they do and don't have time for you, you are in for another week of chatting. They need to make the questionaire a bit clearer. They need to have a box for strictly chat, stritcly dating, a bitter column, not ready to move on. Or a very selfish, I have little time for anyone else but myself box. Let us not forget, I date many people and will continue so don't get your hopes up high box. So these are all the feed back that I have gotten. Oh lastly, I have no time for you but let us IM each other after dinner all night until I am tired box. See there are so many boxes they seem to be leaving out. Oh and last but not least, the dating with absolutely no chance of commitment box. If thy added these boxes, maybe things would run alittle smother on these dating sites, people would not waste their precious time. Maybe if you could also be more honest, we wouldn't need all these boxes. Either way, are dating sites working. Just asked all those people they show in the commerical. If so many couple made it. then why do they keep showing the same couples in different commercials. Just a thought! XO Barbara Jeanne

When Enough is Enough & Time To Call It Quits

When you are in a failing relationship we try so hard, most of us to give it your all to get back the love that you once had for one another. Most of the time it is one of the two in couple, that comes forward and brings the truth out in the open. That couple that seemed to be heading to the always and forever couple is headed for a break up. So one usually wants to see a marriage counselor, the other is reluctant. When it is too late for the counseling then the one that was once was against counseling, comes forward and says that they will try. By that time the other half of the once happy couple is done. So when do we say enough is enough. When is too late to capture the goodness you once had. First, if you are single and you have not invested much time, then bow out and call it a day. If the relationship has gone on for years, then you see if both parties are willing to work it out. If only one want to keep the fading relationship, then you have to let it go and move on. If it is meant to be the person that wants out, will have to figure it out and decide if they miss you and come back. If you are living together it makes things a bit stickier. Although not married you are a union almost living as one. So, I feel it is worth investing time in trying. Now, if married and children are involved, you have to think of the children. If you are always fighting, it is worse for the children to actually hear the fighting, then splitting up and explaining to the kids why the two of you no longer want to be together. Most of all, you have got to let them know it has nothing to do with them. Before all this, I think if a couple took the time to say I do, they should take every means and measures to stay together. If you at one time loved this person, it's a good possibility this relationship can be saved. Both partners have to be willing to work, to learn to love and be with their other half once again. I do think if a couple went out on their own and got a chance to see what they have to go through being single they might turn back around and walk back through the door. I'm not saying you can't ever or won't ever find another. I am saying it's hard to find another that you won't have any problems with. Have an open mind and really try to make what you have work. You will not only keep the family together, in the end you might be glad you did. Realize you got back your old love and lover once again. So talk, go to counseling, go on vacation, remember all those things you went through to fall in love, to be loved, and have loved your partner. Remember the good, the great accomplishments you have done has a couple. If, you tried everything and the love is gone and only then should you let it go. I know a woman that had everything she desired, a huge house, and five boys but her husband worked his butt off to accomplish these things. What she was missing was the passion and mostly her husband being home to spend time with his wife. So don't forget people are like grass, if you water the grass it flourishes, if you don't it dies. Same as love it dies. So enough is enough when you can walk away and truly have really no care or any emotions left to give, if that’s the case you can walk out and not mind that the door is closing behind you. Then that is enough. Barbara Jeanne xo

Happy Ending

Being in a positive happy mood, which I guess I pretty much always try to be. I thought i would leave tonights quote on a positive note. I believe in love and I believe that relationships can work. If you approach your relationship with the same love and passion you have for whatever it is in your life that is your favorite thing. From when you were a child maybe and was so excited because you where having your birthday party or christmas and you knew you were going to get exactly what you asked for. Or when you turned 17 and you got your first car. Maybe when you scored you first kiss. If you stayed with that passion and excitement, you might have that chance to a long lasting union. Relationships have to change, that is only natural but if you changed together in a positive direction and make it a point to continue and live you life this way with your love. Then you have a greater chance to be eatting the early special after retiirement together. I think there is nothing cooler than to see older couples in their 70's or 80's holding hands, still in love. I just think they made it through their shares of fights, wars the depression, to be here having each others back in good and bad. In sickness and in health, I know I have had my time in the hospital in the last six years and it makes you realize how much your mate cares for you, if they are by your side. That is more important than anything in the world, You realize at times like this, you can look at your sweetheart and know they might just be the one to be your always and forever, your happy ending! XO BARBARA JEANNE

Men Get Lazy Way to Fast, How to Stop It

Men seem to be getting comfortable way to fast these days and it needs to stop. Women are allowing men to behave in this manner, but women we need to get some of that knight in a shiny amour back in our men. I know we woman can open up a door but when I see a guy just go to his own side of the car to leave his woman to open her door it pisses me off. Not only do you not open the door, you men are lazy when it comes to doing the manly things. Most men do not romance their woman anymore, or they romance till you think you have the women in pursuit locked down. Even the ones that are courting us ladies and doing a great job can’t seem to pull it off for more than a period of time. Men need to be more attentive. I don't mean spending your last dime on us. I mean, sending sweet texts, married or not, calling just to hear our voices. Picking flowers if you don't have the money to buy them. Stop waiting on us woman to ask or tell you what you men know you should be doing. Then when woman get upset, you act surprised and saying we’re bitching and nagging. Maybe if you did the little things, being more attentive, woman wouldn't sweat you when you men want to sit and watch the game. If you know you’re doing the right things and your woman nags then you have the right to ask her to stop. You men can't be selfish, work and then it's your time, married or single. You need to dress up and take you woman out even if it’s to somewhere simple. Massage her without her asking or thinking it is going to end with a happy ending for you. If a woman doesn't think her man can handle those things he should be doing or just won't do, it’s a turn off to woman. Then you wonder when women are dumping your ass to find someone that will open a door, or romance her even if we know that might end. We’ll take it while it last. So do these simple things before your ass is dumped and all alone. Woman will do almost anything a man ask, woman are sick and tired of hearing our men excuses, or more often just ignoring us completely. If woman are loved, and her man is attentive to her she is content. Her heart will stay content as well, because she fells in our heart she has someone that cares. So married men don't go with the phrase “you’re working so hard trying to pay these bills and you’re tired”. Well, you ass is going to be working for all of you but you'll being paying it the first of the month in alimony and child support because you will be alone. Men don’t let it get this far to lose your family. Isn’t your family and wife worth the effort? For the single girls, don't accept less than his best from the get go, and make sure you make it a point to keep him at that level. He showed you he can do it so he can. Why accept less later? All ladies married and single should expect, want and receive more from your man! Woman will give their man the world, you men need to give us back at least half of that and we will be happy. Show your woman you want to be with them, I don’t need to go into how. Men you know how to treat a women you do it to get, the problem is you stop, then women start nagging and it snowballs! Get your act together it doesn’t take much to keep most women happy so do it, or stop crying why are you alone? Barbara Jeanne xo