Why Doesn't He Love Me, What can I do?

   

I was on my computer yesterday and right on the side was an advertisement that said "Why he's not in love with you, if you got one and what to do if you are dating one" I thought unless you lived it, how do you really know. I have to say, I have.  My last serious boyfriend of six years came to mind. Not that he wasn't a great guy he just had issues. First he was a cop, and I feel they are great but if they working rough areas they have seen not so nice things. That is another story. Anyway, when I met him he was going through a divorce. That was my first mistake. My advice to anyone going out with someone going through a divorce, you should wait until it is over then take it from there. If it is too late and you are already involved, well that’s another article, I'll have to touch base with another time. So let us get back to the main topic. If you are with a man and you feel he is not giving his heart. He might not be emotionally able to for several reasons. You may treat him like gold. Be a beautiful person on the inside and out but nothing seems to be enough. So what do you do? There is nothing you can do but bow out. The man has to realize if he loves you enough to open his heart and sometimes that means to be on his own at some point. It may not be you at all. It may be that he has a broken heart from a prior relationship or marriage, even if they wanted out. The man may feel like he failed. He may feel that it will happen again. Or in my case, he was there for me, but as time went by, he became a true bachelor and became very selfish. He admits that he is selfish. He also is afraid to get hurt again. So what he does, he runs. He keeps himself so busy, he makes no time for a relationship. Although we had a wonderful, perfect relationship in every way, he admits. He’s mind or heart won't allow him to give himself. Even though they know they may lose a good woman, they just can't do it. So what is the point to stay? You cannot have a one sided relationship. You end up lonely, heartbroken and wasting precious time that you can find the real thing. Remember they are selfish, so they will keep you hanging on; just enough so you won't move forward and you will be there for him. That is so unfair to you. He will keep it going, so unless you want to keep going with half ass love, then you, give him the time, give it your all and then let him go. He knows you tried and he know that’s it is him, but if you got one that won’t love. Give his heart, it is that saying. If you love someone let them go, if they come back it was meant to be, if they don’t...well... They need to talk with a specialist. What I have learned it is a blow to his ego and we all know men can have big egos. My guy said to me when he had been drinking one night. He had a plan. You get married, buy a house and then have children. He then said he had done the first two but he was at a loss that he failed and did not finish his plan. You can plan out your life as much as you want but in one day for any reason your life can change. You can think that you are that special, he will change his mind for you, and if he does that is great but it is doubtful. He needs to heal why he cannot give his heart. It is not you, it is probably any woman. Lastly, you may not be the woman he connects to give his heart to as well. If that is the reason and you feel unloved, you got to be straight forward and ask. I did and I got the answer, if he did want to commit, it would be me, but I knew, I am wasting time, till this day we talk and it is still the same, if I do, it would be me. That is a big would of, could of, but didn't. So if I did wait. I could grow old and shrivel up by the time he may come around. So if you are not getting the love you should and deserve, let it go, a least for now and move on! XO BARBARA JEANNE