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The Essential's Of a Relationship: Tips


              It seems that relationships are taking a toll. I have been seeing this commercial that shows a couple and then goes on to say “who knows what’s going to happen in your future but get a loan here and get your dream house”. So basically they are saying who knows if your relationship or marriage is going to work, but go for it anyway. Hum that doesn’t sound very positive. Buy a house either way, if you do or don’t stay together. That just sounds rather peculiar to me. Being a marketing major and minor in advertising in college, that is one pitch that I never heard. But I guess never say never, anything can change in a blink of an eye these days.

          Many girls are no longer waiting for their night and shining armour, they are doing it on their own. And if a girl does meet a nice partner on the way, well that’s just an added benefit. Many times I see the girl breaking out their hard earned cash to pay. So guys no longer have to worry that it is always on him, it takes a lot of stress off of them. Let’s face it, guys think about paying every time you two go out, and knows that it can add up very quickly. Most girls wouldn’t want to pay every time you two would venture out let's be honest. Think about that next time you go out; don’t think it has to always be on the guy’s dime. Well unless they have the money. It’s still nice to pay or do other gesture to show that you are willing to spend your cash. We both work hard now days and we don’t want to spend a big chunk of our weekly pay on dates.

          There are so many ways to have date night right at home and still have an awesome time.

1.    You can have a candle light dinner where you dress up. Take turns setting up and arranging the dinner, with your own special romantic ideas. Put on music and dance. That music that you hold each other tight. You can use songs that mean something to you two. Like your wedding song, songs you both like when you are driving around and singing like you can :) A slow song that reminds you when you first met, or something that the two of you did that was a great memory. We all know those songs that comes along with fond memories with every relationship. (some songs not so fond :(  )

2.    If you are of age and you can drink, play some cards, or a game. Get paper or index cards and write romantic emotions, such as kissing, touching, massaging, etc. Use your ideas to make funny ones, romantic one and ones that will get you wet and wild and ready for some loving. And pick a length of time for each. Next pick out a word that you say often such as “drink”. But in this game you are not allowed to say that word. That word would now be “consume”. And every time you do say “drink and not consume” you have to drink, and then pick a card and act on it.

3.    Play hide and seek. If you dear play naked hide n seek. You blindfold your partner and you stay in one room and close the door. You have to say “here” give the blindfolded person hints. Once the blindfoled person catches you, the blindfolded person has to do something to you, such as a romantic kiss. Do something that will get their heart racing. Lick, touch and tease. Next the other person goes. Do these until you can’t go anymore besides getting under the sheets for some loving.

4.    If you chose the old fashion hide n seek, stay in the house but be creative. And although it is not the most romantic, it’s fun. And fun times build a relationship. So that is always a plus. Take it to another level. When you are caught you have to take an item off.

5.     Strip poker with a twist. The originally game is if you lose you have to take a garment off. In this version you still take a garment off, but you have to do whatever your partner wants for 30 seconds. Yummy right. Play until you are both so hot and heated.

6.    This one is simple and all it requires is you and your partner. Get some soothing massage oil. Flip a coin who goes first, give a full body massage. It’s not only awesome for stress, massage places that will get your partner’s blood and body going to want more. Next it’s your partner turn to be massage, touched, teased. You can call it a night and get some good sleep, or take it to the next level with some awesome sex.

7.    Take a bubble bath or a shower together and wash each other and don’t forget all the trigger areas. And something you both have to remember it gets cold so make sure you both are under the water. If you are taking a bath, one is behind “Pretty Woman Style”. Don’t know, well then you need to see the movie, to see how romantic it is. Everything doesn’t mean sex. Touching is so very important. But for those who want to go there, I don’t have to tell you what should come next. Sex in the shower or take it to your room.

8.    Go to the sex shop store and get some toys. Maybe a vibrator, some taste creams, or eatable panties. There is so much, go have fun, just looking. But you must leave with at least one item that you can play with when you get home.

9.    Make an appetizer and listen you your favorite music, feed each other and when your done listening to the music you both like, check out the slow songs that you both dig, and slow dance while you are kissing. This is a yummy one, I love to kiss. This is one that brings you closer. Music somehow always makes memories, especially to us women. But guys actually do identify a woman with a song. So while you are listening you can find that mutual song that will be one of your songs. Goodness that is a good one.

   10. Lastly have a movie night, where the meal is simple, and you just

          munch and watch, hold hands, put your head on your partners   

          shoulders. Rub your partner arms, stomach head here and there,      

and maybe a little bit of everywhere (Just saying J) other than that just chill. You now have that in common for conversation.

          When two people first meet we do things that make our relationship exciting. We have that want to please, to conquer. As time goes on, people seem to lose sight of what brought you two together. We lose sight on the laughter and the fun you two had. Girls tend to become mothers and in turn that makes guys rebel, or even tend to act like a son. Well if you keep acting like a mom ladies that is not going to make your partner feel manly is it. Guys you need to take just a few minutes to hug your pretty little lady. Ask how her day went, kiss her softly. And by Heavens to Betsy do not tell your partner to move because you can’t see the TV. Yea that happened to me, I was butt naked. And my ex totally failed. I guess that is why he is my ex. But people get so damn lazy, that’s why most relationships fail. And lastly don’t be with someone to change their things about them. It is one of the hardest things to accomplish. A relationship is team work. Remember you are a couple. So although you are still I, and me, you are also we and us. Do what is necessary to stay us. We sometime are so stubborn and we don’t want to give up the “I”, until we lose the person that once was the “we”. Pick your battles you do not need to win them all. Doing so you might get what you are asking for. So relax and love. Love is so needed and necessary in life. It helps your relationships flourish, and I tell you when you get older it’s nice to have friends, but honestly it is way nicer to have a smooth loving relationship. P.S. I almost forgot naked twister!

                                                       Love, Barbara Jeanne  xo



Tips To Finding & Keeping Love For the Long Haul

                    Love makes you feel absolutely fabulous. But why is it now days it seems as more people are heartbroken than in love and happy? I hear it ever day almost all day. So to me this seems like it is somewhat of a big problem. If so can we fix it somehow or do we just say “it is what it is” and let it be? I can’t I am the kind of girl that believes in love, in Cinderella, in the happy fairytale ending. But does it even exist? I believe we make each relationship exactly how we want it if you choose the right partner. This person has to want to be there and it is right from the get go. No drama, it’s smooth and fits right from the beginning. As you grow together it is a feeling of contentment. Not a relationship you are unsure, insecure and feel unloved. Now this seems to be the tricky part to find the right fit, the right person. Most people seem to pick the wrong person from the get go. From there we tend to waste too much of our precious time. It seems like we have forgotten how to truly love. We either have the people who seem to be too selfish to love anyone else because they are always thinking of themselves first. Then we have the other half that loves so very hard they give all of themselves completely. There are a few that can balance their relationship enough and be able to give and take. These few seem to be the ones that seem to make it as a couple. So we know that you have to give and take to be successful. We have to know that it can’t be even all the time. Some days one is stronger and takes more and so goes for giving or needing. But for all those who won’t budge but say they can’t find love do they really want love? I mean there are millions of people looking for love but everyone says the same thing where are all the good ones? Are we all looking for love in all the wrong places, such as online? We actually thought we could meet our better half online.  Can we no longer take these dating sites seriously to really find our always and forever? Do we have to go back to the old fashion way of meeting in person? Well over the internet you can be who you want to be and many people waste other people’s time when they have no intensions of meeting. Why? Could it be that they are content in having someone to talk the night away and then call it a night. They don’t have to spend money and they had an enjoyable evening talking with a person they desired for the evening. So if that is one thing that is making a problem how can we stop this? First off when you meet a person on line, meet shortly after. This way you know if they are serious as well as if you even like one another before investing too much time in one person. I was online for about 4 months in 2010, it was the first time I was single since high school and I went on Plenty of Fish. I wanted to do some research while I could date at the same time. I found a few nice people. But most of the people had drama at home, or some kind of relationship problem. I’m not saying that they weren’t nice. The ones that are ready and settled usually are the ones that seem to end up in the friend zone.  Second I made dates right away. I actually was making two a day until I got pooped out. I actually was so tired by the fourth month that I called it a day and met someone in person. So how can we get more in sync to try and fix this problem of give and take? We have to watch for red flags. Watch for signs if the person wants a relationship or wants sex. And we have to love. Love an unselfish love. If you know you don’t love them with the right intensions don’t drag a relationship out for years, let it go. That is a major problem, we hold on to a relationship as if we won’t find another. We also have to love ourselves enough to be okay if you are alone. I know there are a lot of nice guys that get passed up, so for you gentlemen never ever change a thing about you. You are a prize. And for you ladies; maybe that saying I heard before has something to it. Let the people you love such as friends be your soul mates and let guys be something to have fun with. Well I would say until you find the right one. Because you can’t or don’t want to marry or have sex with your friends, unless you are a little freaky like that. Most importantly do remember you can’t marry your friends, so especially you ladies. Those nights when at the last moment you get a phone call from a guy you really like and he says to you “dinner tonight”? Say “absolutely”!  You have to understand when your friend says the same to you. I am by no means say always accept a last minute date but if you are crazy about someone and they finally call for a date, go. It makes you look like you are an easy going cool type person. That you can be cool enough to not bitch talk them “where have you been…why haven’t you called. Blah blah blah, no one wants to hear you moan. If that is the case just say no and don’t go. If someone stands you up or blows you off all the time then they are wrong and you should say no because this person is not truly interested. People truly interested are in pursuit and do everything to get to you. That is the problem with online dating people become serial daters. Leaving you confused thinking what happened you had such a great date. You may have but they have so many other people to date from online. This is a person you just don’t take seriously. How do you find out, ask? But do not drill them. Remember actions speak louder than words, so go by their actions. You never know you may be the person that will make them want to stop from dating others. They might really like you. So see how it goes and play it by ear. If they are treating you right you will get often text’s and calls. And they will be excited to see you as well. Don’t be so uptight. Try to be less selfish and give more. Be fun, be spontaneous this draws people to you. When you give off good energy and become more positive you might just find love. With these useful tips and using them for the long haul it might not just bring you love but a healthy lasting relationship. Barbara Jeanne xo


You Get What You Give? And Sometimes That Brings The Best!

           We need to realize what we put into a relationship is exactly what we get back. You study for a test really hard and you have a better chance of getting a better grade. The same goes for a relationship. You put time and effort and you hopefully get back what you put into it. Now like in the test situation. Some people study hard and just don’t get the grade they should of. It comes easier to some than others. And it sucks but it is just how it works. Some people just have that good luck. But it is also who you chose, this has a big part in how your relationship goes. You chose a guy that knows he’s good looking then it comes with the things you think it might. This guy and the relationship might come with conceit, deceit and making you a bit insecure. Now a girl might be hot but this girl is also high maintenance. So what this guy might get is a hot girl that wants needs and is never satisfied. I’m not saying in every case. The point I am trying to make is sometimes you see exactly what you are getting, sometimes you know exactly what you want but sometimes it’s the worse choose you could of made. So don’t always go by the cover. Maybe someone might treat you so kindly that you say okay they aren’t what I might always chose but you might not be what they always chose. No one is perfect and I have found some of the best relationships are the ones that slide in there when you are not even expecting it. So stop thinking, stop looking and start talking. One day you might just be talking to your next partner. Yes, it can be that simple when you just keep you mind and heart open to a kind, loving person. A great happy personality is always a plus. Barbara Jeanne xo


Saving Your Relationship (They Are So Hard To Find ..Don't Throw Yours Away)

              What can we do starting today to make our relationship better? We can do something that you know your partner would like. They might wonder why, but if you start to do little things daily that make them happy, there is a great big chance they will do things that make you happy in return. So what you will eventually get is a better, healthier relationship. Some relationships are in dire need of some TLC, and by getting and giving the things that are lacking in your relationship you just might be saving your relationship. And this is my whole purpose in everything I do, to get people back on the same page. Somewhere we have forgotten how to behave or act in a relationship and we are not doing the things that are necessary to keep it happy and healthy. So I am here to reteach people, remind people and hope that I can help someone to find love, a couple to rekindle their love, a family on the edge of divorce to find the memories and the way to stay together to save their family. Well, you might save you ailing relationship, make it a bit happier, healthier and have a greater bond. This will bring the two of you closer and by doing this you two might get a little bit more loving, a little more sex and become a whole lot happier. Let’s face it, reliving our tension, if you know what I mean, helps to calm our nerves and for many it puts a big smile on our face. Barbara Jeanne xo


The Want Is What Makes A Relationship Last For the Long Haul (It what makes the person want you, let me teach you how to have the person you desire to want you)

                     The most important thing in a relationship is the want. The want to see this person is so very important. Their very presence brings you so much happiness.  It makes you want more from them. As well as the want to talk to this person, hold the person and the list goes on and on. To share spending your time with this person that brings joy to your life. The highs and the lows will always be there, but to have the want to share it all with this wonderful person. So with that being said how do you create this to stay? You have to have this in your heart to bring this to the person because you care so much for them. It’s a natural thing for your happiness to come out to a person that you want so dearly in your life. You need to want to bring joy to this person. Put aside the bitchy, nagging, wining person. No matter if you are a man or a woman you have to treat this person as your best friend and lover. Treat them as you could never or would ever want to live without them. If you can do this every day you will have a relationship that will have the want to make it to the always and forever. You will learn this in my book along with so many other tips. I can say if you listen to me I can guarantee you will find what you are looking for and make your relationship a one in a lifetime. And lastly remember its quality not quantity of time that you spend with the person you want to spend your time with. Barbara Jeanne xo