How to Search for Love

I have heard from both men and woman, they say there is nobody out there. I'm thinking wait, the population is growing and the dating sites are booming so it shows that there are plenty of single people. Something is going wrong that the two genders can't mate. Which wow only two and we are having such a hard time. Or could it be that when we are saying we are looking for a meaningful relationship, really isn't what we are looking for. What I am hearing is that something is always wrong with the person they meet. So I wanted to know what was going on. So I signed up for a dating site and was on for three weeks, and found a really nice guy well a couple that was willing to give a relationship a whirl. They said they were divorced but they were still married, hum, isn't there a box that asks this question. They were living on their own but still going through a divorce. OK, they were both really cute, fun, good jobs, so I gave them a chance. My rule of thumb a person should be divorced before going off and starting a new relationship, but they made it sound like the end of their divorce was right around the corner. I have to say they we sweet as pie but problems worse than algebra, the subject no one can still figure out. I gave those three months each, and then I couldn’t wait until, like algebra it was over. I didn’t feel too bad, I had fun had some good kissing, no sex, so my self-esteem was still intact. I took time and just enjoyed dating other people I was meeting. I wasn't in a rush to jump into anything, I had just ended a 6 year relationship that we both were weaning off and no not with sex, the phone calls, seeing each other, and well six years is a long time. You miss the person at times. Anyway, I figured let me try the dating site one more time. First day, I got a date with a real cute guy. I checked the status box, single, great! The date was that night; he came to pick me up. He was tall, blonde with blue eyes and cute. I thought yummy. So we started to talk and he ended up being married. I thought why these men on the freak in sites are. I thought this isn't what I practice, so after five weeks I had to let him go. I was going on dates with a lot of other very nice guys that wanted a relationship but I decided the guys were nice but something about guys being on a site wasn't for me. So I turned off my site and did it the old fashion way, just had fun and let it come to me and you know what you meet a lot of real people this way. Dating sites have become more like chat rooms. Most of my friends both guys and girls talk more then they date. It seems like all they do is talk talk talk. So, if the two genders aren't connecting and here is what I'm finding. Men would rather stay single unless they find that woman that blows their socks off. So that leaves us woman single and waiting to find Mr. Right that may be out there but to stupid or selfish to open up to more than their perfect girl. There are the nice guys that are still out there that want a long term relationship, so woman after years of dating the jerks isn't a nice guy really what we should be looking for. Men stop looking for miss perfect, nobody is perfect, not even all those models airbrushed, with tons of plastic surgery. I'm not saying dating sites never work, I'm saying either with dating site or meeting in person. You have to be up front with what you want and stick to it. Don't think, the person will just fall in love with you, when they are telling you that they don't want to get married, or be tied down, if the say that, keep moving. Then they are not for you. Compatibility is someone that is on your same page. You have to find the person you are truly looking for. If you are looking for always and forever, make it clear. Why would you date someone not ready, or someone who doesn't want it. Last of all... There are millions of single woman and men out there but why aren't they connecting. I have to say because, either they don't want to. Or when they do meet a great one, they mess it up somehow and they get thrown back in the searching pool. How do we stop this and find exactly what we are looking for? Communicate with the person you meet, ask questions. I am not saying grill the person but get to know what they want and you will find just the right person for you. Leave your mind and heart open to love. It's really the most fabulous feeling! Barbara Jeanne xo