Marriage, Then Alimony?

Two people that were once so in love at one time part. Sometime on cordial terms, but usually that is not the case. Where was once a home filled with love, it is now a home, this one time loving couple are now fighting over everything. The woman feels it should be hers. She needs a place for her and the children. The man thinks it should be his, he worked hard for it. In some cases both parties worked so they just sale and split. In any case what is fair? I am not on the either side. When I got divorced it was ten years into the marriage I wanted out, although, he was the one that may have been verbally abusive. (Another long story) Either way, I thought, we have a child, I don't want this to be nasty or drawn out. We did have a child together. We were in love at one point; I just wanted to part, period. I did not ask or take anything. I knew taking his child away was heart breaking enough and I was young, been to college, I can take care of myself. It is just how I felt. I know you woman are going to hate me for this one. I just thought he didn't take care of me the first half of my life, why should he have the responsibility now. I can understand if you invested more time of your life being married, then you were growing up and single. Or have children that the woman cannot take care of. Still should the man pay for the rest of the time for the wife? I am not saying the children; I am saying alimony for the wife! I have to say I feel it should be a certain time if she is not working to get her on her feet. Women please don’t hate me. I was in a relationship with a man that we could not start a family, buy a house, etc., because he already was paying for a family. I can't be the only woman that went through this, finally I said, you're taking care of her. I'm taking care of you. Who is taking care of me? We then parted. What’s fair to both parties? I am not the one to say what it should be. Every situation is different. I think though, both parties should remember they did get married, have children, so they loved each other at one time. Be more cordial. Don't try to hurt or break the other person. Make it a break but a smooth one. It's easier on you and the children. The children get what is going on. That is not cool. To see their parents fighting so bitterly can harm and hurt a child. Remember this divorce is not only about you and what you get. Both parties remember the children are going through a loss as well! XO BARBARA JEANNE