This Is For Everyone That Has Been Cheat On
Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 01:53PM 
A very sensitive subject, but I'm hearing so frequently, and again today, I felt the need to write about it. There are times in a relationship that things have gone all wrong, it is at the end, it is just a matter of time before one picks up and leaves. Sad to say but you know it is going to happen, sometimes its mutual, which makes the split a whole lot easier. If you are prepared you can sometimes part, maybe... at least not as enemies. What about the couples where one is totally in the dark. They may know there are little problems, but nothing to say it is over, although that is exactly what happens. It is both men and woman doing it. A man working so hard to give his wife and family everything only to find she's having an affair and when she tells him, it is so nonchalant and says it with such little care. The person acts so done with the relationship as if their years of marriage and the children they had together, was something that happened. The love they have now found is just so much more rewarding; it is worth to throw away the years of memories. Also as well, is the woman that stays home with her two children, one still an toddler, just learning to talk, the precious years. Well, you would think...Nope only for her husband to come home and say I think I'm in love with another woman. While she is a loyal mom staying home taking care of her family, her husband is out without a thought of how he is hurting his family. So one husband and one wife, two different families, with one thing in common they are both being cheated on. With that, the people getting dumped or left didn't get the chance or choice in this life changing decision. Which seems so unfair? So that is life and we just have to....say okay...and move on. Even if two people are a couple, maybe living together, there are still terms of commitment unless you have an open relationship. If one wants to leave they go, it is just easier, because there is no binding contract. What is does leave each person being cheated on, or left, is with a broken heart. So we have all these broken hearts. Somehow, yes its life but still seems so unfair to the hurting person. So before you get to the point you are in another person’s arms or bed, think twice. Think of the person that you desperately wanted at one time. That they should without any doubt be owed the decency of being told, before you move on so casually. Leave them with just a little of their self-respect and not just a broken heart. To say you couldn't help it, you just fell in love and into the persons bed is bullshit. Keep you boxers, or panties on until you tell the person you are with that you are leaving. You might realize and you probably will that you made a big mistake and if you have a conscious, you'll one day wake up and realize you hurt someone that you cared about horribly. Do the right thing and be up front and honest. When you’re young in your teens and you cheat, you are still learning. As an adult you know better! XO Barbara Jeanne
Reader Comments (2)
Hi Barbara Jeanne,
Just wanted to say I have been reading your posts since Novemeber this year and I really love your style and what you have to say. Many of the topics you cover really hit home. Please don't think I'm crazy but I found out a guy I have been seeing added you to his facebook so that's how I knew about you. Because of you he has been more pleasing to me when we have sex and it's been wonderful.
My only problem is I think we started having sex way too soon (like you said not to do) so how do I know if it's just the sex he wants or if he really cares for me. I met him on a dating site a little over a year ago. In the beginning he called me almost every evening but we didn't go out much since her worked weeknights and has a 12 year old daughter (that he is very cose to) every other weekend and sometimes more. I have no probem with that. Children should come first.
I know this is stalker like but I look at his facebook (he does not know) and I see he has been on other dating sites (for chats and woman looking for sex). Even though we are not in a committed realtionship I am hurt by this. I have a great heart, very attractive and we get along and the sex is amazing. So what is the problem? I don't want to scare him away but should I ask him what his intentions with me are or should I just enjoy the sex until whatever?
I was already in a relationship for over 4 years and I thought the guy was the one for him to cheat on me and never had the balls to admit to me he didn't want to be with me anymore. I never thought he would do that to me but he did. I still to this day never got a real reason or the closure I deserve. He is still with her (2 years later) and she is just average looking, overweight..just goes to show you looks don't always matter.
I feel like there is something wrong with me. I have many guy friends and they are wonderful. No matter what if I call them or need them they are there. Why is it the men I adore can give a care. I call they might not answer or they forget me on important dates like Valentine"s Day. They only call for one thing....
Should I just tell him how I feel or just let it go until I find what I really want?
Lisa
P.S. - Can you maybe do an article on how to have a child and still have time to date? Most of the articles I read on relationships talk about single couples. They don't give advice on divorced people who have kids and how to go about dating.
THANKS!!!
thank you for reading and i will write an article about that very situation xo barb