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Monday
Jan212013

How to find & Keep Love (Helping Failing Relationships Spark Up!) The Tools & Knowledge Needed To Do So

    For over the last six years I started to write relationship articles for several magazines. Although I have been doing research since I was in college and my mother and grandmother were both in the relationship field I have learned much wisdom. I want to now really take the time to let woman know it’s not as easy as dolling up and putting on some red lipstick that will make a man adore you. As well as it takes more than a good looking guy to be a smooth talker to keep a woman. I am so excited for all the clients I have worked with that have been successful. I have brought many couple together as well as helped people get on the right path of searching. As well as if an individual may need a boost in any area I help to guide them on the right track. I am so happy to say my success rate is very high…so high that I really want to concentrate on the people out there that are looking for love and cannot find that special someone. I want people to find true love for people searing. I am not looking for anyone to fill these shoes but that special person that will walk in them besides you for the rest of your lives. This is challenging, but it is a challenge that I am willing to take. I want to teach people how to love, be in love and stay in love. We are programmed to think that our population is not capable of doing such. Our divorce rate is so high with a 70% single ratio to a small 30% being in a relationship. There are a couple ideas that people have stored in the back of their head. One is not to get married because you’ll end up divorced anyway. Two is that why get married when you can just love until you’re done and move on. I want to prove this wrong. That being in a monogamous one on one lasting relationship is so much more rewarding. The one thing I think is that everyone buys these magazine, listens to advice given but no one seems to practice what they read or hear. I am by no means saying all the advice I hear or read is right or good. But maybe because in your mind it’s always what if, instead from the get go you don’t think negative but positive with a definite yes that a relationship can and will survive with the proper knowledge and tools. I am here to give you these essential necessities that it takes to make it forever after. If you are in a stale or failing relationship and needs a boost because you are barely hanging on them let me lift you back on solid ground. I will have a series of “How to succeed to finding a relationship and keeping your relationship sailing smooth and happy”. For all those out there that feel that it is hopeless to find or keep be relieved that you can. It’s a state of mind, a belief and the want. These three components are important in keeping you love life, sex life, friendship with your partner to have it full circle. What you will get is a complete, fulfilled relationship. One that will better your life, make you a better person, a happier person and you will no longer feel as you are just existing in your relationship but know that you are with your soul mate. I am so excited to bring this to you that I hope you read the series of articles and in doing so you will find love or help you fading relationship. Barbara Jeanne xo

Thursday
Jan172013

Broken Hearted Me? How to Get Over It, Heal & Move On!

        Heartache is such a hard emotion to go through. The hurt and the pain that you feel is real and no matter what people may say nothing seems to help. Deep down our inner being most likely are wishes that you hear from the person that you are hurting over. Hoping to hear these words “I love you and let’s get back together. But many times this doesn’t come, especially at the time we need to hear it. Having nights of crying and days that we wish would pass by so the hurt would go away most likely doesn’t happen. Days go by and we talk to everyone and anyone that will listen to our problem. Any and every advice is welcomed although we don’t seem to listen to any of it. We crawl in bed at the end of the night with the same emptiness we felt during the day but for some reason night are always the worse. For some reason our emotions are stronger than ever and the pain seems too tough on those tear ducts. Many nights we spend with a box of tissues and asking ourselves “why not me”. We wake up with the thought that we made it through another night, hoping this day might be better but we soon come to realize that it is not. We feel the sadness rolling in and there is not much we can do to stop it. But there is help that I find got me through my heartache is first off know that time does heal everything. Second for all you girls going through a break up, watch all the six seasons of Sex n the City. This is a heart savior, you’ll laugh you might cry but it’s like the girls bible. It helps to remind you that these entire crazy things you go through are normal. All the character’s that you see on this show…Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, you will identify with at least one of these ladies. This and the fact that there is humor with a lot of sensible knowledge will get you through the hardest break up. Third being that you’re allow to have your cry and your down time but don’t sulk for too long. Why? You have many people to meet. And mourning too long is stopping you from what could be coming in the horizon. You need to get you energy up turn off the break up music and make a playlist of all your favorite power hour girl songs. Girls that rock you give you encouragement and that motivate you to get up and go. And last of all ladies know that you and your heart will be loved again; put that doubt in the back of your head. In fact ladies wipe it off your board completely and start new and go forward not with the baggage of the past but a new strong you that will find and conquer the love that we all so desperately want.  

        Men the same goes for you although I will say the worse person to talk to about your break up is your best friend unless they are married. Why because guys that are single want you to stay single. Not every guy but most. They want you to be able to hang with them not girlfriends so do keep that in mind. So their advice isn’t the best. Men as well can watch shows like the Family Guy. Watch the shows that make you laugh. That keeps you mind of your heartache, the break up. Men tend to hold on to pain longer. Once women are done crying and move on and fall for another they are pretty much good to go. Men hold on to the good girl they lost. Men you need to process the things you did right and wrong and then let it go. Remember you have it easier because society has it still that mostly you do the asking. So do some surfing on line or get outside and see the pretty little ladies out there waiting to be asked. Both girls and guys one thing is a don’t. Don’t date before you are ready and do not bring your past into you present. But do learn from your past. It is hard to find love so when you do hold on and treat it as you should with tender loving care. If you both can do this you have fewer chances to end up with another broken heart. Know it does happen over and over again. Let go of the past to move into the present and you will get it right. And when you do it will be worth it. Nothing is better than to be truly loved. Barbara Jeanne xo

Thursday
Jan102013

You Lost That Loving Feeling; Can You Get It Back? (know how hard it is to find another) If You Do Want to Give it a Try to Move On Here's SomeTips...

When the love goes and you want to as well but you are so scare of what the future well bring. So you stay frozen and in an unhappy relationship. To be honest now a days it is a big risk to leave because the honest truth it is extremely hard to find love. I am in no way telling you to stay when you are miserable, in an abusive union or you just down right know you don’t want to be there. If you are in any of these situations it is time to call it a wrap and let it go. But if you are thinking the grass is greener on the other side think again. It’s not and it’s actually a whole bunch of nothing. Learning the statistics it is not the ideal planning to leave your stable situation even if it is a bit wobbly and think you will have fun in the dating pool because this becomes old and quickly. The ration as I have said in another article is 70% not in a relationship and 30% in a relationship. My friend this is not so good. The worst part is that although many people keep saying they want that relationship they are getting so use to jumping from one person to the next. They stay on line like an addiction; these are the people that are single for a reason. And the people that are looking for a real deal relationship are usually ending with a broken heart. The only solution that I can see is if people start meeting in person and not on line. The people that are serious will take the time to come. You see the person so there is no game of what they might look like. This major obstacle is now gone. Next they get to see if there is chemistry which is important. There is no talking back and forth for days, weeks or months before the meeting. To end up meeting and say “oh this sucks, they look like nothing I thought”. Finally when you meet in person you can see right there if you want to take it to the next level. So to balance out the old with new the meet and greets you see on different sites is one of the ways to go. As well if you do meet someone on line. Meet shortly after. So many people are having on line relationships and when they do finally meet so many never talk to them after the initial meeting. For several reasons but the main reason they were not truthful about something they are withholding. And the main one is they are not quite be who they say they are. If one does like the other but the other isn’t digging them it’s hurtful when they stop taking your text and calls and everything basically comes to a standstill. That person that thought everything was going in the right direction for having a meaningful direction comes to an end when you have the first meeting. Say for some reason it passes the first few dates and the intimate encounter but as time goes by one or the other is not feeling it and then bail. You are now back to square one. This could happen in any relationship that starts but more so with on line unions because they may not live nearby or in the same circle so they can disappear and never be seen again. Point being before you jump out looking to jump into another relationship please know how hard it is to meet, connect and fall in love. If you can find it in your heart and there is any chance to revive the love in your relationship try! I am not saying that it can’t happen if you leave but know its work. Even if you are someone that people gravitate to you for one reason or another it still is a process. So see what you have in your own yard before you wander into another. And lastly do some soul searching. You have got to love yourself and be content with you. You should not need another to entertain you. Go to a show if you are looking for this. When looking for love you should be looking for someone that lifts you and brings you to a happier level. You may lose this in your relationship but there are so many ways to get the feeling back. It is a process as will but you can achieve to bring back the love you once had with this person. It was there for them once and it may be there just hidden deep in your heart. Open your heart and you may find love with the one that’s in your yard and if not let’s learn how to achieve how to find love before you’re old shriveled up and using a walker. Barbara Jeanne xo

Monday
Jan072013

Are you Chasing Someone that Wants to be Caught... By You?

In psychology I was taught that when we run after someone that the person we are chasing usually out of instincts runs the other way. This is something we are taught in the playground at a very young age and we carry this pattern throughout our lives. The only time this equation of chase and catch, which will call say…tag works, is when you want to be caught. You might be wondering what I mean so let me explain. Why is it when a person that may like another they will continue with high efforts to achieve getting this person to they like? Even if this person they are putting all their effort into getting shows them no interest. If someone you like doesn’t show any care back why you would continue to hope they might change their mind and like you. If this person you are trying so hard to get is not calling you, not seeing you and showing no signs of any interest in connecting with you what makes them so desirable to want them? Is it because it’s a challenge, or you don’t think you can live without them. But I am here to tell you to stop chasing, the more you do the more they will run. And that you will get over this person and although you may not see it now, it’s probably for the best. Why would you want someone you basically have to beg to want you, to see you, to be with you? And you still don’t have them, right? You shouldn’t and that broken heart that you can feel coming on, you may already had your days or nights of crying over this person…Stop! This person knows that you like them and if they are not approaching you then let them be. I’m sure everyone is saying you can do better and they are right. Anyone would be better because this person is making you feel crappy about yourself, not building you up and showing no care or concern. You got to ask yourself why you want this person so badly that is treating you pretty much as you don’t exist. Okay maybe when you corner them they say they wish they could be ready to commit but aren’t or the person that gets you is going to be so lucky. Well if they think these things they are saying why aren’t they choosing to be with you? And if this was the case wouldn’t they show you some signs of encouragement? I find that this is how it should go listen up. You meet a person, or it could be someone you may already know. Either way you like one another or you don’t. If you do you are from the get go eager to get to know one another. These are the relationships that have a better chance of taking off. The relationships that drags you through the mill and leaves you hurt and alone, you may say this is a relationship that is not getting off to the best start. If you are willing to wait it out with the chance that it may happen, thinking will I have nothing better to do. You are fooling yourself. Yes you have better things to do…like finding someone that might actually want to take you on a real date, show you they care and maybe fall in love with you. That is a healthy relationship. Remember chasing was started on the playground when we were about 5. We are no longer on the playground or 5, so if you aren’t digging someone let them know and let them go. For those do the chasing…Stop! Some people waste so much time trying to get another person to love them… to even like them. If it’s not happening let it go. Keep in mind that although it is hard to find love and I won’t say it’s not. But is it easy to find a lot of people going through this situation and it not only sucks, it’s sucking up your energy and time. It’s time to get you out! Yes suck it up, have your cry and move on! Barbara Jeanne xo

Wednesday
Jan022013

Keeping the Want in Your Relationship; Having your Man or Women Have the Want to Want You & How!

                         I am so determined to teach people how to love enough to have a lasting relationship. I want to teach people how to keep the want to be with your partner. This is so important more than you may think. Your partner has to have the want to see you, hold you, touch you, and spend time with you. How do you achieve this? That would be to bring joy and laughter with you and your partner in your relationship. So how does this go, well do you remember when you were young and simpler things made you happy? You would be happy to go a bit wild, go outside the box all those things that made us giggle or giddy in love. We lose this as we grow older. Yet the inner child in us wants to come out. Somehow we feel as if we have lost a part of us that made our lives and ourselves happy. We talk to our friends about how our partners have become boring, not paying attention to us. We strive to find it in our own relationship failing to do so, at times we may go searching for it in another person. Here is where it goes wrong. If you can keep the playfulness the love and passion in your relationship this will make the want. The want to come home to you, to see you, be with you and to love you. In doing this your partner will be more willing to keep you happy. We spend so much time thinking negative that we become bitter with everything that is wrong with the relationship. In magazines that we read, even those that I have written in it tells us women to throw on some lipstick and buy some lingerie and have a sexy night. But if your man is not feeling the want this situation can go terribly wrong. If you lose the connection in the heart and soul for the person you lose the person. Just as if a man is not doing his duty as a man when his woman feel he is not taking care of her. Not necessarily in the old fashion sense of the way but for example foreplay. For a man we think it begins at the beginning of sex which is completely wrong. Foreplay is a hug to your lady when you walk in. Gentle kisses on her neck as you’re passing by. And asking how her day was and to actually listen to her. Men on the other hand like to be encouraged, to make them feel like they can when they are in doubt. These are some of the ways to keep the want alive. One of the biggest blows to a healthy sex life is to say no…no…no…when the other is asking to be intimate. If you are not feeling it, do some soul searching and communicate why you might not be feeling the urge. Ask yourself would you want to come home to you? Are you fun or are you cranky more often than not. When two people meet it is the fun that you two have that draws you closer. You start off with good chemistry, good conversation and when you get there the sex was probably pretty awesome but what do all these have in common? You had fun doing each and every one of these together. Basically whatever you did together you had fun and this brought you two to reach the point of beginning a relationship. It may go so far to make it to the “I do”.  If this is the case you have to say you loved each other enough to bring it to this level. So what happens when you lose the want? You fall out of love with your partner eventually. You might love them but you are no longer in love. To some you may feel like it’s too late but to those that are still in love or are trying to get the person they are crushing on to want them this may be of some importance. To create the want you need to be consistent on how you act from when you meet and each day after that. No one can be in the same mood everyday but you can’t go from night to day it’s a turn off. How you treat your partner is important and should be with kindness, compassion, consideration, encouragement, love and care. The list can go on and on but you get the idea. If you lift your partner they should lift you right back. If you show them an overabundance of love this is what you should be getting back in return. This one is very important…be fun…be fun…be fun. We are not all clowns or have it in us to be goofy, silly or a bundle of joy but it’s important that you keep some excitement in your relationship from day one and this doesn’t stop as well. You can’t have a perfect relationship or have the perfect day everyday but you do need to keep the rhythm going. When you are couple you cannot always stay in sync. One of you may feel a bit more lovey dovey one week, than the following week it may be the opposite way around and this can become frustrating. But this is totally normal so relax because you will have those times that you are completely in sync. So before we get to off the subject let’s get back to finish the want. To want something is to desire greatly, to crave but most important to need. When you need someone because they complete you, make you a happier person, a better person this is real. Creating it to be isn’t as hard as you would think. To create the want you simply have to love unconditionally as you did when you two first met when you didn’t see all your lovers’ flaws. And yes they have flaws we all do, we just have to simply choose to see the beauty and love in your sweetheart and when you do this they should return the love back. To recap, when you love with a sweet tenderness ladies men really respect it as an asset not a weakness. As for men… women love a man that they know can take care of them but love when they can show their lady a tender softness. Last but not least, romance should never leave your relationship and if you treat you partner as written in this article with love you will have romance. Men pick or bring some flowers for your lady, get her favorite candy, or call just to say "I love you". Ladies make your mans favorite meal, put a sweet note in their lunch or suit pocket. Send a sexy pic to keep them wanting to run home. The easiest ways to try to understand the want is to look at yourself in the mirror and ask if you are truly a loving person to your partner. After you have your answer it’s all up to you. Barbara Jeanne xo