Hurting the One You Love By Words & Actions (Published)

Sometimes you do and say things that hurt the person that you are supposed to be so in love with. You may not mean to be frank, forward or hurtful but you are. You may not know that all those little things that you do might be doing are ruining and destroying your relationship.  Those little things you say and do are hurting this person to the core. I remember when I got married I would make dinner and wait for my ex-husband to get home; I would run up to him and hug him. Sometimes I would even jump up and straddle him. One day he came home and said “why are you always waiting for me stop it”, I never did it again. As time went by he asked me why I didn’t greet him at the door anymore and how he missed it. I explained “didn’t you remember you said you didn’t like it. As time went on we continued with good times and bad times but being so young, I thought this is what marriage is. Through the good times and the bad times, well at least that’s what it says when they read off the marriage description at the ceremony. But as the time was going by it seemed as he was just mean. I was realizing that no matter what I did he wasn’t nice. He took a job in Vermont and seems to think he didn’t need to ask me. Having a baby I sucked it up and went. I was put in a little town where everything was in one house, the doctor, the post office, country store as well if you passed away. I had a young infant and not much to do so I would make gourmet meals with desserts and pressed all the clothes to save on dry cleaning. One day he pulled me to the drying squeezing my arm asking where his hunting license was. I replied “I didn’t know”. Along with other situations I had enough and shortly after that last situation I left for my sisters bridal shower and wedding. I decided I did not want to go back but he begged me and I went but my heart was never the same and shortly after I had enough and called it quits. I look back at some of the things he had said and done and we finally had our talk and I asked him why was he so mean? He said “he didn’t know, he knew the hunting license wasn’t in the dryer he was just angry inside. It could have been because he was beaten as a child. Either way it is sad when it comes to an end. Some people can walk away cold hearted without a care others hearts break even if they are the ones wanting out. That seems to be what it is in my cause. I hate to hurt another person, even if it was their fault and they were the ones that broke my heart prior. Keep in mind all those things you do and say to hurt another person knowing or not knowing that eventually it is going to come back to you and probably with a good bye. Either your bags end up packed or the person you love that you never meant to hurt. So think before you hurt the one you say “I love you too. You may be out on the outside of the door standing alone kicking yourself. Barbara Jeanne xo