Lost Love... No Longer In Love (Published Article)

We meet someone that we are interested in and soon after somehow we find ourselves in this heavy duty relationship. We learn to love this person almost as if they were in your life forever. They become the person that is the closest thing to a soul mate. Hoping they just might be ours. Things may go beautifully other relationships may have many red flags never the less we tend to fall for this person and hope only for the best. As time goes by we both grow closer and hope to build a future with everything heading in the right direction. Other couples are hoping the same but see signs that may make them unsure but they still continue full force. Here we are now in relationships that are deep and we feel full of love. We continue down paths. There are many paths that we chose from, other times it is what life brings us. One path may be marriage, while the other path may bring a child before the wedding bells. There also is the path where a couple feels as keeping things with just you two is good enough for the time being. Others put a ring on the finger to show the hopes of marriage. Whatever it may be it has to be what works for the couple. The problem is that when we meet and start this magical happy union we don’t usually start it with all our faults and baggage we come in with our best behavior. If we have problems or personality flaws we try to hide them. No one is perfect but some carry more than others. You may be with a great person but realize you don’t connect. Other times you realized wanting to be with someone blinded you a bit from who they really are. Other times you are really sleeping with the enemy that is a person you are with is really a completely different person. Sometimes you are just with a nice person somehow the feelings got lost somewhere between hello and I don’t love you anymore. Now what, you may be living together. You may have a child together. You may depend on them financially for the place you got together. It could be the simple fact that they are a nice person and it kills you to know you will break someone’s heart. So how can you walk away when you realize that you love this person but you are no longer in love with them? There is no easy way and that is what really sucks especially if you still care and love the person. The best way is to be honest. Sit down and tell them how you fell, allow them to ask questions. Do not put blame on you or them. Just explain exactly what you are feeling and thinking without hurting their feelings because that is what you want to try to avoid. So keep it honest, tell them best of your knowledge what you think happened. Don’t let the person back you into trying to save your relationship because they will and if you are weak you will fall into this and it is truly what you don’t want. You are doing it for them not you but in the long run it’s hurting them because the right feelings are no longer in your heart. You will still have a feeling of lost and be heartbroken but it will allow both of you to move on to find the right partner. Barbara Jeanne xo