Been Hurt, Will They Disappoint You Again?

So you meet someone that makes you smile, makes your day brighter. They make you much happier. You get to know them and as you do you can see yourself falling for this person as you know they are falling for you. You aren’t crazy; you can tell this person adores you. And they finally say those words that you having been waiting for “I love you”. Things may be going perfect, great, couldn’t be better when without notice they seem to change. You seem to be unsure, confused and doubting your relationship at times. But what you don’t get was what the heck happened. First off unless you feel like you did something that hurt their feelings most likely it’s not you but them. Why? For different reasons and most times reason that are well…unreasonable. For example maybe they got close to you too fast, or the relationship is moving too fast and then need to slow it down. So they pull back and all that does is makes you feel crappy. You start to doubt what is going on and if this person that you were once so happy with still loves you. Just when you think it may be on its way out, they come back around and show you care tenderness and even love. You once again think okay maybe things are back on track and they seem to be until they once again disappoint you. Not coming through when they should. You even put them first. Start doing crazy things to get this relationship the way it was. You may realize that what you are doing isn’t reasonable but you can’t help yourself. For goodness sakes you love this person and you will do anything to get them back to loving you. You find a way to keep them at bay, to keep them for walking away from you completely. This person may love you, and may want you but doesn’t have it in them to pull off a relationship. Either they are too selfish; they have been hurt and can’t give themselves, their heart. It can also be they just don’t want the responsibility of being in a committed relationship. This person may even leave for a bit and come back around. Although at times it has to be with your help or doing. Either way you are the one that is sad, hurt and feeling anxious and upset. How do you handle this situation? Don’t! You can give them a second chance but keep in the back of your head what they did and remind yourself until they truly prove different. I was with a great guy for 5 years, a cop that was very confident. And at a different time another guy for 4 years that was in the military. They were both on top of their game when I was with them. For some reason when we broke up (different years, different times) both of their lives took a direction for the worse. They both lost their jobs. They both came back and wanted that tender unconditional love that they knew I always gave to them. But in the back of my mind I think of how one was Mr. On top Of the World until he lost his job. The second was there when I got beat on my head and then got paid to say that he never saw it happen and he lied in court. So my point is if this is love then these people don’t know how to love first off. And if this is how they love I don’t want it. Love is not supposed to hurt. Yes the person your love can hurt or disappoint you but it shouldn’t hurt you on a regular basis. Both still want to be with me, I believe you can give a person a second chance but after that??? This is who they are and neither you nor anyone can change them. They can only change themselves. As my mother says you never go back. Remember hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me. Barbara Jeanne xo

Comments

[Tim]

First of all, another great topic and very well put. We all know the world is made up of all types of people. As far as people in relationships and in love. I believe that some people like the idea of being in love, but really don't understand what being in love really means. They want the security of a relationship, someone thats always there for them........but.......they are not willing to give back..............might sound strange but its like there are looking for a parent not a partner. And then there are some people that for whatever reason are just not capable of loving....we all have to remember, if you don't love yourself.......you will never truely be able to love another person...........I might be all over the place here........one other aspect of a relationship that people miss is communication.....sharing.........you need to keep the lines of communication open............if your sad tell your partner......if your happy share your happiness with him or her....................if your mad....don't hold it in........talk about it...........sure people keep some things to themselves............thats only natural...........but if you really love someone and want to be with that person forevery,,,,,,,talk......laugh........cry........and love together...................