If You Cheat, Still Leave with a Caring Heart

For those wondering what’s up with the cheating today, its hitting close to home? You can say someone dear I know is going through this. It went from a couple days ago, saying so casually. To let us split the house time so we don't have to move the kids. Wait back up. Did we as human being, become so ruthless, reckless and careless, that you can walk away from someone without a tear in our eye. Forget the tears, even a touch of pain. You married a person, have children with this person and you can leave them as easy as it is to say...see ya? Wtf...really...People have a heart when breaking up with someone, think about what the person is going through and that one day it might just turn around and slap you back on the ass. Broken hearts are so painful, how could you want to see anyone you care or cared for go through one. To boot you are the one breaking their heart. So think twice before you are cold as ice. Remember ice always melt, and turns into water and evaporated like it never was there. So you might one day realize you made a mistake, the cold ice left behind has evaporated and has been forgotten. Then it will be your loss. Treat every and any heart with kindness, especially if there was love between you two. xo Barbara Jeanne

Through the Good Times & the Bad Time = Equals Forever!

You meet, you date, and you fall in love. So far things are as smooth as a baby’s bottom. You two are building so many good memories. The question is popped. Will you marry me? So excited, of course you exclaim. The date is planned, the thrill the anticipation. The day arrives, a beautiful day it was, but it's over. Still in honeymoon stage, things are absolutely fabulous. Life seems to creep up, and fast, along with everyday problems. Where should we start? Well there are the bills, the job, maybe a family. This once care free couple has a lot of added stress put on their plate. What happened to my happy go lucky fun honey, you both are thinking about one another. You both have turned from fun loving tickle me Elmo into the Grouch. What happened? I would say simply life happened, to those that are still confused. Remember your vows, though good and bad, though sickness and health, till death do you part. These days why even say those words? It seems like more until I want out. So many people tell me their partner has changed. Some I have to agree, others wait until the get that permanent label to express who they truly are. For all those people that have gotten divorce know this. Those words that you say are a binding contract you don't realize how much of a contact those words are until you are sitting in a lawyer’s office signing papers. So let’s back track, before it gets too far in a different direction. No matter who you are you are going to have to work at every relationship. There are people that have made it for the long haul. And although they may have to take a deep breath here and there, they made it through one more year, one more anniversary. These people went through all the things and more than what the vows said. They went through their high and lows, probably much sadness and hurt, but what they got coming out of it, is the love of their life. These couple have found their soul mate and someone to grow old with. I see couples in their 70's, even their 80’s holding hand and I truly think that rocks. I've personal trained and gave massages to many of these ladies some now even in their 80's. They talk about how they have to bring their sweethearts to the hospital, doctors etc. to hear that, makes me more than ever find that one person to be walking on the boardwalk holding hands as the sun shines down on us as we are walking our way to the early bird dinner special. It's worth giving and having heart aches and sadness but with that in return you have the loving times, happiness. They have found and kept their long time best friend and many may say they are the love of their lives, their soul mate. Others say they drive them crazy but they believe they have made it so long and they simply love them. They may not have that head over heels love but a comfort love that is so much more comforting. How do we get here? You know that saying "when the going gets tough you get going" (okay I changed it a bit to stress my point) STOP! Turn around take a deep breath and work it out. It’s truly worth it! Barbara Jeanne xo

Getting Off The Drug Cycle, There is Help

With a society in such tormoil, leaving us with not just a mess finacially but mentally unstable. I have never in my life seen so many people popping pills and now it's not just stopping there. People from teens to all ages of adults are dipping into the assortment of drugs that is out there, to take the pressures of everyday life. The problem being that the people using for either recreational or to ease the pain of their life, people are getting addicted. They start from pills and quickly it may exculate. The biggest prblem that the dipping or drug of choice is herion. Highly addictive and so commonly used. It is cheaper then pillls and so easy to get. I have counseled so may people and it seems that the population of people are pretty unhappy. Our society has become very big on anti depressants as well. Doctors seem to give them to coat the problem. Not gettng to the base or the bottom of the persons problems. I have worked in this field for years and when I bring clients for their appointment the doctor take little time to talk to the patient if any at all. I have had doctor asking the patient as they arewhile  writing thire scripts. Then sending you off to conseling, which is my field or a phychologist. If you get one that is good and you have good insurance, you are lucky. There aren't many states that help people with mental illness, that have programs and so forth. I know Pennsylvania is very good with programs. If youu are in that area I have worked their you can ask me or look into it. So to those dipping in the pill pool, or further down the drug line, you need to seek help. If you know anyone that is going down that line, give them a hand. Herion is no joke and you would be surprised how many people are on it, have tried it or are taking some form of drug. There are drugs that help you to get off pill, herion etc., like suboxin. Believe me I know your life may suck, but don't ruin it. These drugs atually change you brain where you can develope mental issues or even become mentally disabled. So it may be hard to talk. but talk, get help and learn to live and enjoy life. Remember life is a gift. xo Barbara Jeanne

This One's For the Men...Ladies Here's What Men Want!

This one’s for the men! Men want to feel like they’re the man. Woman don't talk to your man like a child, he hates it. Also please stop talking down to them, by saying the meanest thing you can think of, just to hurt them where it counts. Stop bitching and nagging and make your man fell like you wear the pants in the relationship. Actually you are equal. Saying things that are so hurtful, then making up for your meanness with sex or whatever it takes, to get your honey back to not being mad. They too forgive but don't forget. Suddenly one day you see a totally different cold man. You wonder why... it's how you have been treating him. Men have their own quirks, but like I said, this one’s for the men. Women, you would get so much more with sweetness the speaking like you are giving direct orders. Your man may stay, especially if you have children but I hear it all the time they don’t want to be there. Just like women they get bitter and they shut down. So ladies dress to impress every once in a while. Try to clean up for your man when you see him. Even after time goes by, make love to him like you truly want to have him. And for goodness sake have fun. Just because you become a serious couple doesn’t mean you have to take the fun out of your relationship. If you do these simple things, he will love you and he will show his appreciation. These ladies were men’s biggest complaints. Barbara Jeanne xo

Treat Your Love Like Your Favorite Game

Did you ever see how enthusiastic men get over their favorite teams. They can't wait to see the game. All ready for the big day. The team shirt, the food and all the fixins to enjoy their favorite pass time. So I do agree that we should enjoy the game but most men seem to enjoy spending more time in front of a tv, or at a sports bar, IN FRONT OF A TV, not missing a moment. This seems more appealing to them than time with the person that they say I love you to everyday. Men also say the same about their teams. I don't know how many times I have heard I love my team come out of a mans mouth. Sometimes the guy may seem a bit more in love, or excited for the team  then their lover. Unless their woman happens to be just as excited about watching their mans favorite team play. That may be why I see so many woman routing for the same team that their partners likes. Wearing the same jersey. I thinks its facinating that almost every woman I see likes the same team as their man. Not me, I like the Eagles and Patriots in foot ball. Baseball is the Red Soxs and the yankees. I grew up with the Yankees but going to school in Boston, Fenway park rules. Okay don't hate me I'm just saying... adding alittle my own conversation. I guess the sayinggoes  if you can't beat them, join them rings true. You don't see a sea of woman alone too often going out for the game. Most of the time, they are with their man. So, it is good to do things as a couple but, men do some crazy things for their team. They paint their faces, they bet their last dollar. The dress up with a cheese heads, or their favorite gear. Whatever ritual they have that might make the team win. So before I go on, Their are woman that truly love their teams, but this is not my point. I'm getting there..Men, it is great to have so much passion for something but what does the team give back to you. Would they be there if you were sick? Would they pick you up if you had a flat tire or go to your funeral, when you are old and grey, lets just say. I don't think so, but your women would, they would be there front and center, to help you in every need you had  if you allowed. So try saving alittle of that passion you have for your team for the one that really should matter. The one that could actually give you something back. Love, help, support, etc...should I go on! XO Barbara Jeanne