Stop the Confusion of Dating, Here's Help!

I think people go on a dating sites for the most part looking for someone to hang out with and maybe see where it goes. That’s what I believe all these dating sites assumed when they started making them. They would hook people up and hopefully it work out and they could say they were successful. But that has not been the case. I don’t think that these sites are exactly running the way they had expected. So what may be going wrong? Well first of they are called dating sites. A date is two people meeting, just as if you are meeting someone that you did not meet on the internet. Although when you meet someone in person you can see that instant connection that helped couple for many years fined love. That is where love at first sight came from. A on line date would be you would see their picture, talk, and see if you like them enough to meet. Many people who go on these dates for some reason may have been talking sexual prier so at some point you either sleep with them (a one night stand) or choose to restrain to see where the friendship goes, which is the right decision. This is the same decision you have to make either meeting on line or in person. When you sleep with the person you meet either in person or on line it changes the equation especially for most women. More emotions come into play. You should be in complete control; I mean it is your life. But for some reason I don’t think this is the case. One of the two people dominates and the one that is the weak seems to get hurt. We do have to remember all these sites including Match.Com, E harmony, Facebook, Google, Yahoo, etc. are exactly that dating or social sites. And what is a date? It doesn’t matter if you meet on line or in reality of everyday life. It is two people that go out and get to know one another. I would always say number one rule never have sex on your first date. Basically never have sex until you are in a committed relationship. But that’s another article. Okay, so you meet this person, you may like what you see, you chat on line and you like what you hear and you meet. It may go very well, but then you see them still looking. You understand you are just chatting and starting to date but they may be looking hard core. They are always on, maybe on multiple sites. You see them on and your feelings get hurt but here is the big explanation. This is what dating is. Although it may suck and you are confused dating and a relationship are two different things. You two had such a connection or so you thought. They told you everything you wanted to hear. So why are they still looking? You have to realize people that meet in person go through the same situation. You might meet in person and have a great friendship/new relationship going on and then you see them on a site. They aren’t texting and calling you as they were. No matter what way you meet, people today seem to think they need to keep going to the next. But in reality it is extremely hard to connect two people. So if you do find that person that makes you smile, laugh and lifts your mind, heart and soul hold on to them. On line you do not get to know what exactly you’re going to get. You’re not completely sure what the person looks like. Is there picture up to date?  They can be shorter, heavier, older and worst of all married. Anyway just leaving you hanging may leave you feeling less than happy. What you need to look for is a relationship site but there really aren’t any. This site should have people who are seriously looking for a committed real deal. They are ready to go into a loving, healthy relationship. They are not getting out of a relationship, going through a divorce or going to drag you through this roller coaster of I like you, I like you not. You are so confused it makes you feel like you are turning into a detective trying to figure out what your crush is thinking. Do they like you? Why aren’t they calling you? I am writing this because this has been the number one problem I am getting from everyone of all ages from 20’s to 60’s. I hear this literally all day from different people that are truly hurt. The person that the thought they could give their heart to is tearing their heart apart. Something is going seriously wrong. So what can we do until someone smart enough such as me finally makes a relationship site? Be on the same page from the get go and if it strays or leaves you feeling as something as changed be strong and let it go. If red flags pop up don’t put them on the back burner, be strong and let it go. Let them come to you and if they want you, and like you…they will. Barbara Jeanne xo