LOVE STINKS, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO

Man sees a woman. He likes what he sees, approaches and comes in for the kill. He wins her heart and things are going great, but then the man get a little lazy, with the calling or not seeing her as much. But that doesn't mean he's not digging her. Men just get bored or have a life, which we women seem to give up when we get a man. Then the women starts to get a bit upset may start to feel unloved and then has the tendency to start to nag, rag and bitch. So the man does not like this very much and pulls away. That makes the women very angry and hurt and sooner or later comes the claws, and the man likes this even less, so further away he goes. The women does everything in her power to keep this man, even goes to the neighborhood psychic. But maybe it is as simple as to give the man space from the get go. Give him his own time and don't punish him by not giving him sex. He has a hand and a lot of porno sites these days. Men like to be independent and like women who are independent and confident. Right or wrong, that's how it is. Women will give it her all, but when women get fed up finally at some point, they dump the man and after their heartache finally goes away, they don't look back. But with the men, they are devastated over their loss, but I'm not sure if it is because they lost a good woman, or they lost at the game. Many of the men in one study seem to have said the same thing about their broken relationship; things hadn't been going good for a while. But when they get dumped, men don't like the sting and a wounded man now a day says it's easier to stay single then to go through getting hurt again. That is only when the man realizes he lost a good thing and when it's too late. So, what can fix this problem? Women if you start seeing things going wrong in your relationship and you seem to keep putting them on the back burner and the stove is all filled up, he's not a keeper. Stop giving your heart before he deserves to have it. Your heart is a precious thing, and men, if you really aren't into that woman let her go. But have the balls to tell her, just don't disappear. If you do think she's a keeper, show her you love her. Love is like a plant, if you don't water, it dies, same as love. Last but not least, when it's over and let it go. Have your cry and move on. There is nothing worse or more painful than a broken heart and that is coming from both sexes. What could be worse is not allowing your heart to heal to find the real deal. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Treat someone you love as you would like to be loved! Barbara Jeanne xo         Most of my articles are geared toward woman, so I thought I would switch it up a bit, and this one is for both guys and girls. Maybe it will help you both get back on the same page. For some reason, we women sure do need men in our lives, even though we have had our hearts broken so many times. But what makes things different now a days, women still so desperately want to be in love, and men, once they have had their hearts broken seem to be good on the whole relationship thing. This is a big problem! So what are we to do to mend this? Well let's see how the whole thing started, and no, I'm not making this up. I am professional, I went to the source both men and women, of all ages. Let's keep this one short and sweet or maybe a bit bitter but brutally honest.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I hear so many women that are having man trouble. How they are confused, they just don't know how to get their man to commit. Working in a gym for many years, training both men and women. I have had the opportunity to hear both sides. Here is what I have learned and frankly, why just maybe men won't commit. First off, yes men do have the tendency to become lazy in a relationship. Maybe even a total turn around from when you two first met when he was trying to get you into bed, and maybe even win your heart. Men truly don't intentionally mean to get bored with you and ignore you, but honestly women don't help the situation at all. Women have all these expectations of what they want from their men. They want to be wined and dined and by the end of the month, that leaves guys putting out enough money for a car payment. Women ...men ask please stop nagging and stop trying to control, you are taking the fun out of the relationship. Men work all week, well most of them, what they want, to relax, so let them. Give them their own time. Women and men are not communicating, or someone isn't listening, because it's leaving us with the question, what's going on? Women are wondering,why men won't commit, and men are wondering why they get dumped in the first place. When a women falls in love she falls hard, she gives herself and heart completely. At this point it only makes the man loose interest, they like the competition, to conquer, then when when successful, they get a bit bored. They may work too hard, play too much, giving little time to us women, leaving women to feel devastated and unloved. So how do women react? Bitter, mean and if you are married, watch out...you men are in for a big burn. So, that leaves us with a lot of jaded men that can't seem to pull out of the hurt that they endured, even though a man might not admit it, and usually doesn't. Men find it easier to go on with their lives keeping it simple. That also means it's hard for them to give their heart and to commit to us women. I too have been divorced, when I left I figured there has been enough pain, and asked for nothing, but what did come from the relationship was my beautiful daughter, I do not call it a failed relationship. it is two people with different directions. So for all those holding on to the past, the pain, it's time to...Let It Go...That may be one of my favorite sayings. So, trying to stay neutral, here is some advice. I think women need to ease up and not control men, and I'm not speaking for all women. I think men need to judge each woman independently, There are some really good women and men out there, if you open your mind and your heart, you might find a friend and even someone to love. And that a really good feeling! XO BARBARA JEANNE

What Makes Relationships So Hard

Most of my articles are geared toward woman, so I thought I would switch it up a bit, and this one is for both guys and girls. Maybe it will help you both get back on the same page. For some reason, we women sure do need men in our lives, even though we have had our hearts broken so many times. But what makes things different now a days, women still so desperately want to be in love, and men, once they have had their hearts broken seem to be good on the whole relationship thing. This is a big problem! So what are we to do to mend this? Well let's see how the whole thing started, and no, I'm not making this up. I am professional, I went to the source both men and women, of all ages. Let's keep this one short and sweet or maybe a bit bitter but brutally honest.

Man sees a woman. He likes what he sees, approaches and comes in for the kill. He wins her heart and things are going great, but then the man get a little lazy, with the calling or not seeing her as much. But that doesn't mean he's not digging her. Men just get bored or have a life, which we women seem to give up when we get a man. Then the women starts to get a bit upset may start to feel unloved and then has the tendency to start to nag, rag and bitch. So the man does not like this very much and pulls away. That makes the women very angry and hurt and sooner or later comes the claws, and the man likes this even less, so further away he goes. The women does everything in her power to keep this man, even goes to the neighborhood psychic. But maybe it is as simple as to give the man space from the get go. Give him his own time and don't punish him by not giving him sex. He has a hand and a lot of porno sites these days. Men like to be independent and like women who are independent and confident. Right or wrong, that's how it is. Women will give it her all, but when women get fed up finally at some point, they dump the man and after their heartache finally goes away, they don't look back.

But with the men, they are devastated over their loss, but I'm not sure if it is because they lost a good woman, or they lost at the game. Many of the men in one study seem to have said the same thing about their broken relationship; things hadn't been going good for a while. But when they get dumped, men don't like the sting and a wounded man now a day says it's easier to stay single then to go through getting hurt again. That is only when the man realizes he lost a good thing and when it's too late. So, what can fix this problem? Women if you start seeing things going wrong in your relationship and you seem to keep putting them on the back burner and the stove is all filled up, he's not a keeper. Stop giving your heart before he deserves to have it. Your heart is a precious thing, and men, if you really aren't into that woman let her go. But have the balls to tell her, just don't disappear. If you do think she's a keeper, show her you love her. Love is like a plant, if you don't water, it dies, same as love.

Last but not least, when it's over, let it go. Have your cry and move on. There is nothing worse or more painful than a broken heart and that is coming from both sexes. What could be worse is not allowing your heart to heal to find the real deal. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Treat someone you love as you would like to be loved! Barbara Jeanne xo

RELATIONSHIPS...KEEPING IT TOGETHER

I was on my computer yesterday and right on the side was an advertisement that said "Why he's not in love with you, if you got one and what to do if you are dating one" I thought unless you lived it, how do you really know. I have to say, I have.  My last serious boyfriend of six years came to mind. Not that he wasn't a great guy he just had issues. First he was a cop, and I feel they are great but if they working rough areas they have seen not so nice things. That is another story. Anyway, when I met him he was going through a divorce. That was my first mistake. My advice to anyone going out with someone going through a divorce, you should wait until it is over then take it from there. If it is too late and you are already involved, well that’s another article, I'll have to touch base with another time. So let us get back to the main topic. If you are with a man and you feel he is not giving his heart. He might not be emotionally able to for several reasons. You may treat him like gold. Be a beautiful person on the inside and out but nothing seems to be enough. So what do you do? There is nothing you can do but bow out. The man has to realize if he loves you enough to open his heart and sometimes that means to be on his own at some point. It may not be you at all. It may be that he has a broken heart from a prior relationship or marriage, even if they wanted out. The man may feel like he failed. He may feel that it will happen again. Or in my case, he was there for me, but as time went by, he became a true bachelor and became very selfish. He admits that he is selfish. He also is afraid to get hurt again. So what he does, he runs. He keeps himself so busy, he makes no time for a relationship. Although we had a wonderful, perfect relationship in every way, he admits. He’s mind or heart won't allow him to give himself. Even though they know they may lose a good woman, they just can't do it. So what is the point to stay? You cannot have a one sided relationship. You end up lonely, heartbroken and wasting precious time that you can find the real thing. Remember they are selfish, so they will keep you hanging on; just enough so you won't move forward and you will be there for him. That is so unfair to you. He will keep it going, so unless you want to keep going with half ass love, then you, give him the time, give it your all and then let him go. He knows you tried and he know that’s it is him, but if you got one that won’t love. Give his heart, it is that saying. If you love someone let them go, if they come back it was meant to be, if they don’t...well... They need to talk with a specialist. What I have learned it is a blow to his ego and we all know men can have big egos. My guy said to me when he had been drinking one night. He had a plan. You get married, buy a house and then have children. He then said he had done the first two but he was at a loss that he failed and did not finish his plan. You can plan out your life as much as you want but in one day for any reason your life can change. You can think that you are that special, he will change his mind for you, and if he does that is great but it is doubtful. He needs to heal why he cannot give his heart. It is not you, it is probably any woman. Lastly, you may not be the woman he connects to give his heart to as well. If that is the reason and you feel unloved, you got to be straight forward and ask. I did and I got the answer, if he did want to commit, it would be me, but I knew, I am wasting time, till this day we talk and it is still the same, if I do, it would be me. That is a big would of, could of, but didn't. So if I did wait. I could grow old and shrivel up by the time he may come around. So if you are not getting the love you should and deserve, let it go, a least for now and move on! XO BARBARA JEANNE

What Is Love?How Do We Know It's The Real Thing?

    

You meet someone for the first time, by just their presence gives you butter flies, so you think, this must be love. It's got to be something. You don't get this feeling from everyone you meet. You have that first date that goes incredible, you once again think, this must be love, how wonderful your date went. Now it's time to have sex, unless you did, big mistake! But that's another article. The sex is like fireworks, let me say it one more time. You think this must be love. It might be, I mean all these things are a plus, but what is love? Why do we so desperately want to be in love? Especially when we have had our hearts broken countless times? Is it that we are gluten for punishment, or could it be that falling in love, or being in love while it does last, feels absolutely amazing! As children we are programmed for the fairy tale ending, but at what point do we lose what is real love and just want the happy ending and sometimes even just settle. Real love is a base of compatibility, chemistry and communication but most of all respecting the person for who they are. I have worked in the fitness field for many years and I hear the women, as well as the men talk about love, and from what I see the two genders are not communicating, they are guessing. The result from guessing is a lot of broken hearts, and no happy endings. When we watch movies, we always hear that music that intensifies leading up to that big kiss scene. So are we waiting to hear that loud music go off in our heads, and when we don't, we think something must be wrong. Maybe this is not love? In life when we want a person, we chase after them; naturally they ran the other way, as if we were 5 years old playing tag. So maybe it's time to put away all those fairy tale books that were read to us. Put aside all those games we played as a child, and realize that we are all grown up, and there are new rules. No more games! Women, after watching a romantic flick with the big love scene, remember that's not reality. And men, all those women you see in magazines and movies that you think are so hot, news flash, not real. Air brush and a good makeup artist can do wonders. It's healthy to fantasize what you want. But when it comes to reality of a relationship, it's simple. Finding someone you might like is fairly easy. Finding the person to be with for the rest of your life is work. So, if you do find that person that is right for you, don't think there are trumpets or bells waiting to go off. Love is work, and you get what you put into it. If you are willing to give it your all, not for a day, month or even a year, but for the rest of your life, then that is love, and stop thinking there is something else out there, At some point you'll realize you have to do the work but it's worth it. What you get is that person that has your back that will always be there for you and that's a great feeling. Even better than the story that ends with the couple riding off in a pumpkin! Cause let’s face it that is not reality. xo Barb.