Those Hurtful things We Say

In the heat of an argument, we seem to blurt out horrible things, that sometimes has you saying. Oh my gosh, did I just say that, that was below the belt. You won't say sorry, or I shouldn't of said that. You will continue fighting it out, to see who the winner is. Until you both go back into your corners until the next round. Well those hurtful things you say to your partner, builds and builds until, you relationship is a building of resentment and sometimes hate. It is an awful feeling. At some point we know we are on a downward spiral but we either don't know how to stop it, we don't care, or it is just too late. We know better, we were taught, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Maybe we should practice that. We don't go around telling off our co worker or family members or even friends. Not the way we do with our mates. We even use the excuse ewh, it because they get me so mad. Well, we need to learn alittle self contol, because the person we say I love you to everyday, is not the person you should be telling off. It should be the person you are putting on a pedastal. Making them feel wanted and loved. Not hurt them, and think "yea I got you good". This is something you need to practice from the get go. I never practiced using foul language, I knew how I didn't want to have a potty mouth so I never cursed. I do remember one time a guy that I was with for awhile, once said to me "f*** you, I quickly replied, yea you do, but I don't cum. Older and wiser, I hope to pass on this rule of thumb, if you bring it into the relationship, saying all those hurtful things that you know shouldn't be coming out of your mouth, then don't do it! It should be a rule of thumb, you just don't go there and won't. You will each teach one another that you will not allow to be spoken to with disrespect. If couples would use this as a rule, it would save alot of couple. If you treat each other with kindness and love and expect nothing less back, that is how to build a relationship with a strong loving foudation. By the hurtful things you say, all that it does is crumble and breaks down the foundation, until you are broken as a couple. So if you are in a relationship like this, be the bigger one and say I am sorry for any hurtful thing that I have said to you. I hope you can forgive me. You may not want to be the one that says it first, but if it helps to make a breakthough back to a healthy relationship it's worth it. All these things I write are building blocks to a srtonger, happier relationship. If I save even a few marrriages or relationship. I am overwhelmed with happiness. If I save more...that makes my life a whole lot better...XO Barbara Jeanne