Pick Your Battles Wisely (So You Don't Lose Your Relationship)

It seems in today’s society couples argue until they ruin a relationship. It is more important to prove you are right then to keep your relationship intact.  Women do like to nag a bit and men get lazy and truly believe when they have a lady in a relationship they will take all their bullshit. Two wrongs don’t make a right and it never will.  When an argument does occur we do not stay on the one topic. We seem to go to past arguments and all the wrongs things that your mate has done in the pass, then through in the things that bother you. It is making this fight hit way below the belt and it stays on both of this once happy couple mind. So why do we sabotage something that was so good?  We don’t think and we for some reason think we are right and have to prove it. The thing is that if this situation happens a lot, the relationship is doomed. If you don’t learn you will go into another and the same consequences will happen. The sad part is one day you will wake up and think you may have went overboard and you will lost a good thing. So the next time you are ready to battle think is it worth losing a relationship over winning an argument. Pick your battle wisely.   XO Barbara Jeanne

Know When You Have A Good Thing!

So many people are searching for a good thing, a good relationship. Still when they find it they continue to look. Not appreciating the person they have in front, beside, underneath and sometimes on top of them. They know it's a good thing but for some reason they put in their mind it's not good enough, not the right time or the mere fact they don't really want to settle down yet. People have to remember how hard it is to find a person that they not only like for more than a short period of time but have chemistry and pretty much like everything about them. Now when they do why would they give this up just because they still want to look or aren't ready for a relationship. So most people do two things, drag the person along until they make a decision that may never come, or let it go. You don’t want to let go of that person that makes your life better, makes you a better person. Someone you laugh with, that cares for you and you have chemistry with. This is extremely hard to find, yet when we do find we tend to let it go instead of holding on to something that will make your life a 100% better just because they are in your life. We need to know when to hold them, and not let the good ones slip away. When you find that person that makes you have butterflies in your stomach because you are so exciting to see them and that person continues to make you have the want to see them, hold on tight. I heard this saying once and I liked it "some people settle, some people settle for less and some people won't settle for anything less than butterflies. If you do get this from a person, they are a keeper. xo Barbara Jeanne

In A Relationship and Still Feel Alone

Is your partner and you living in the same house, married or not and you still feel as if you are alone. Do you have lack of communication and barely speak, almost as you don’t like each other. It could be that one still wants to be in the relationship and the other doesn’t but either way it is making both of you miserable. Do you walk into a room and your partner walks out making it clear they don’t want to be around you? This is no way to live and if this is what is going on it is time to talk. You need to talk either way to fix the problem of what happened to your relationship. If you are going to try to repair it or let it go. It is not fair especially if you have children. You need to think of the whole situation and how it is making you feel. You have one life, one shot to make your life the best and the most fulfilling it can be. So don’t sit there feeling sorry for yourself as if you are trapped. First off get out and start doing things on your own, it will make you stronger. Go shopping with a friend; go for a lunch, dinner or a drink. Work out, it is good for the mind and body. Next, try and talk it out, you may really have to force the issue. If your mate does not want to, then you have two choices. Get yourself together and realize that this chapter of your life is over and move on or stay miserable. There is no reason to stay and work on something that is over. Sometimes in life people that you were once connected to change. You two just changed in different directions. You deserve more than being ignore, sleeping with a stranger, a person you feel as if you don’t know anymore. Remember before you do leap into the single status that no matter  who you are with their comes troubled times, and you eventually will have to learn that you can’t keep moving on you have to stop and work it out. Remember it is not always greener on the other side of the grass, as I said before sometime it’s just a lot of dirt. Xo Barbara Jeanne

Love That feeling of Being In Love?

I am the type of person that loves to be in love. Some people think of love as something that makes them happier in life other feel it is nice to have someone around to help with the bills or just because that is what you do. Sometimes it doesn't matter much who fills those shoes to help with times of boredom or when you need a pick me up. To me it is essential. It makes me feel complete. It is the person that is my soul mate. You can't always say the one that has you at hello, although that has happened to me and we had an almost six year run. At the end of our relationship, I knew he was not ready for the always and forever and we were on different paths at the time. That is okay but you have to realize when you are with someone and you are on two different paths. Then you have to think will your paths both join together at some point and if so how long. If you are like me, the type that loves to be in love, you give your heart from the start and you expect the same back. When it stops you are crushed. You hurt but you either keep hoping the guy that you are so bedazzled with comes back around and reciprocates the love or eventually you move on. When you do find the closest to a fairytale, this person is a keeper. When you have a good thing you know it and if that is the case hold on to it. When it is not right you know this as well, and you need to let it go. This leaves you are open to finding true love. When you do feel it is right, you realize that having a partner and this is how each and everyone’s life is intended. God made it this way from the start to have a companion to not be lonely, and to build a life with. More important is to love and be loved. If you miss out on this in your life it is truly sad because there is no better gift then the gift of finding true love and being in love. xo Barbara Jeanne

Why Do We Chase The Challenge?

I went to see Bridesmaids and it is a must see. You will definitely laugh you ass off. It had comedy, highs lows and a little bit of everything. So I recommend everyone to see this movie. One part of the movie that caught my attention was the maid of honor, was truly down on her luck. She was sleeping with a guy that totally was rude. After they had sex he actually said something in the form of I really want you to leave but I don't know how to say it. Through the movie this guy would pop up and say things that were down right mean to her and she would shrug it off as if it was no big deal. She even met a cop that adored her, lifted her up mentally made her feel wanted and she stilled turned to the guy who was a jerk. Not until the end that she needed a ride and the ass whole came to pick her up and asked her for a blow job. It finally disgusted her and she asked to stop the car and let her out. At this point the nice guy was hurt and she spent the rest of the movie which by then it was just about the end to get him back. In real life this happens quite often. Men look for the woman that is hot and unattainable, and women tend to look for the bad boy that has that edge to them. Either way it back fires in the long run. What we should be looking for are people who care for us. We should want a person that wants to do for us and be there for us to love us unconditionally. People waste too much time running after someone that clearly shows us no signs of wanting us. They may want us when they need us then we get put on the back burner. While wasting your time and energy trying to make this person fall for  we should be looking for a person that we don't have to try to make love us or want to be with us. When you can do this you will find a deeper love. That you can look a mess but in their eyes you are still beautiful. We need to reevaluate what a good relationship is. What is more important is that you understand what kind of relationship you are really in and is it the relationship you want.  Xo Barbara Jeanne