The Choice Is Yours (Use It In the Relationship While You Can)

People see couples that look all lovey dovey and say that's what I want. Infact everyone wants a loving relationship. But every relationship is different. You might have a man that dotes on you but has a low paying job. You may have a woman that lives for you but wants you to take care of them. This is just an example, and is not the goal of this article. I want to let everyone know that you have a choice. A choice on who you are with and how you are being treated. It is you from the very start that steers the wheel of the relationship. What your wants and needs are. You need to be verbal when you like something and when you don't. Things you don't like may start from the beginning or arise during the course of the relationship. If you see red flage in the beginning but rather put them on the back burner and continue seeing the person that is your choice. If someone changes during the course and you decide to stay this is your choice. Some choices my be harder than others. Time invested, children, income all place a roll on your decision of staying or leaving but you still have a choice. Never ever think you are stuck being miserable. You have to know with every relationship comes it's troubles but if you are so unhappy you would rather chose out then do so. Don't be afraid you can't make it. You always will. Where there is a will, there is a way. Just remember you do have a choice, it may be a hard one but when you do decide it will be yours. Lastly, you might be saying what if it is your partner that wants out and you don't have the choice. Well, something went wrong way before this situation that left you with no choice. Barbara Jeanne xo

Dear Sal (This is the first Poem I ever wrote at the age of 8)

Dear mom said little Sal

Will you be my dearest pal?

Of course I will dear little friend

I am here until the very end

Then Sal sat up and said out loud

Being your daughter I’m very proud

Then her mother gave a pose

And touched Sal gently on her nose

Now again it’s time for bed

Now lay down your sleepy head.

                                                                                Written by: Barbara Jeanne

Relationship Stale (Read Before You Bail)

So many times a relationship can go in the wrong direction. Leaving you to feel it may be time to call it quits. You no longer feel happy and the lust you once felt for your partner has turned stale with no emotion to even touch one another. Let alone not wanting to be intimate you’re not sure if you even love this person. So what do you do? Where do you go from here? If you are going to try and save this drowning relationship, you need to put the idea of leaving on the back burner. You also need to give it your all. So many articles might say go away, or have a night of passion. The only problem is that when that’s over your problems are still there. If you don't really like your spouse or partner how are you going to connect having sex, or fun on a romantic getaway. It will be pretty much useless. So where do you begin?  With the basics of where you started. Try starting from the beginning, is where you fell in love. Go back through pictures and video of you two in the past. If you are married watch your wedding video. See how the two of you use to interact. It will also give you a story of where was the beginning to how you got to this point. In the wedding video and pictures, are you leaning or wrapped into each other? Are the two of you looking at each other? It’s a good sign if you had a good base to begin with. Some people look back & realize that things were never as they should be; others realize when things went sour. That gives you the opportunity to figure out what and why things have changed for the worse. Start talking, get a pad and write down one by one why you feel like throwing in the towel. Take time to tell the other things they did that you miss or they don’t do any longer. Next touch, this is the fun part. You can begin to learn about your partner again. Where do they like to be touched, how do you like to be touched. Have fun, take turns touching, kissing and fondling. Once you spent the first time doing this. It is necessary to continue to have these sessions. More important those places that your lover has said they love to be touched...touch. Start doing those things that they said they like and miss. You are on a good way to a better relationship. So here is how you can start learning to love again. More important learn to have fun. Don’t be so serious. If you can follow these simple ideas, you have a better chance of keeping you relationship from sinking. Last of all, remember every relationship can suck; it is up to you to keep it going and alive. Oh, and it’s not greener on the other side. Think of how many people are looking on line. Put it this way everyone says it really sucks. SO STAY WHERE YOU ARE & TRY!!! Barbara Jeanne xo

Online Dating, Seems to be Just That!

Online dating seems to be exactly for most part what it says. I know so many people who tell me that they talk to someone for months without meeting them. I'm not sure why, especially if you are only let's saying maybe an hour away if that. I know we all or most of us live hectic or busy lives but if you are truly into meeting the person whom you are talking to for several weeks or month wouldn't you want to meet? One of my close friends tells me how long she talks to some of these men and when she replies months and has not yet to me them I'm a bit frazzled. Can't help to wonder why? I tried the online dating and although it was very short lived, I had many great dates. I even had days I had more than one date a day. It was new and fun, I was never really ever single so I thought I would give it a try but I didn't continue this back and forth bullshit. We spoke briefly online, talked on the phone and went on a date. I have to say most were great dates and I was lucky enough that all the men I met wanted a second date but by the time I was trying to have a second date I had so many new people it became too hard. So for me it was successful for dating not sure it's all that for the long haul. Most of the men I met came with things they seem to be still sorting through. I did end up dating a few guys that were very nice for a couple of months each but I ended up dating someone I met in person. I don't think that the online dating is as successful as people may think. I also think that it becomes a habit. Maybe for people who are married, in a relationship or just wants to pass time in their free hours of the day or night. So don't get tangled up with an online talker. That is what you are looking for, it's better to meet and if it doesn't work move on. I hear people talking for months and they meet only to never speak again. Unless you want an online buddy stop hiding behind the phone and get out.. Cut the chase and go right for the date and if the person you are talking to is giving you the run around move on and find someone that is looking for the real thing a relationship! XO Barbara Jeanne

What Should Love Feel like? (Part 2)

Love should make your life much better, much happier. The person you are in love with should make you the best person that you can be. Love should make you feel complete. You can fight to make your relationship the best that it can be, or if you are losing a relationship that you think is worth keeping. Although you should not fight to make the person love you, or have to make them want you. This situation will never work. So the easiest way to answer what is love, it is simply love and when you are in it you know it. You know as well when you are in a bad relationship. You know in your heart the person that you want to love you is not showing or giving you the love you want or deserve. You feel it and it is a horrible feeling. That is why when you find the real deal, hold on to it because true love is one of the most precious gifts you can have! XO Barbara Jeanne