What Should Love Feel Like?(Part 1)

Love seems to be so hard in today’s society. Are we making it harder than it has to be? How can we learn how to find love and when we do, have a healthy relationship? In our generation the divorce rate is very high. Most of us of the age to have a relationship have come from broken families. At times we don’t learn the loyalty needed to go the distance for a lasting relationship. We didn’t see it in our homes to bring it into our lives. Also as well, we saw fighting sometimes brutal fights putting one another down. At times our parents asking to pick their side, leaving us a bit upset and confused. Even families that may have made the distance there may have been times that they should of spilt but they choose to hang in there for one reason or another. Then we have those parents that truly loved one another and made it for the always and forever and they achieved the ultimate goal of having a soul mate and know what true love is about. They may have had their share of hard times but they love enough more than to let each other go. First off know that love is work and you don’t have to be the winner of your fights. Second pick your battles and only fight for those that you truly believe is in harm’s way of your relationship. It is no fun being in a relationship when one or both is asking, where you are going, where have you been, what have you been doing, who are you talking to, in the manner as a parent not a partner. You want to continue to be each other’s best friend, the person that you want to run to when you just have to tell someone something. You want your partner to be that person that you can be you without judgment and you want to have a blast when you are hanging out with your lover. It feels nice to have the quiet times as much as it is to laugh with them. When it comes to intimacy you want to have that wild sex as well as the slow love making. The fastest way to lose someone is beat them down by putting them down or constant fighting, they will take it for a while but then they will become resentful and downright mean. If you have children they will see this and it will continue down the line. If you want to argue do it when the children are not around. Remember no relationship is always perfect and you can go from one relationship to another and something will go wrong in the new one as well. So if you meet that person that gives you butterflies and you know they are the one, treasure them as so. Xo Barbara Jeanne

Life is A Gift, Live Like It is!

When someone passes and they are the age of natural causes, it is sad but you may think they have hopefully lived a full and happy life and have now gone up to a more peaceful place. When a life is cut short and a person leaves this earth at a young age for an illness or unnatural causes to me it is unsettling and sometime down right heart wrenching. In the last five years I have spent my share of time in the hospital and I have to say I had a close call but God had different plans for me and out of the grace of God (I believe) my life was saved. Some are not as lucky and they lose the battle if it comes to having an illness. Leaving it hard and sometimes frazzling to love one left behind. Some are in car accidents and that is most unsettling because you never assume when you get into the car you will not reach you destination. Crossing a street or however it may happen you are unaware. Then those that are depressed and feel they may not want to live or others may get caught up in drugs, which is a very common these days and don’t anticipate an over dose but it is happening more and more these days. Although people come to your aide if the deceased is part of your life but does it help? How is it that some learn to cope and other never does? Families are destroyed, marriages are broken and lives are changed forever. It seems though, everyone else can move on except the person it most affects. This person it takes more time. Hopefully you continue to believe in a higher power and know the man upstairs will hear you cry and feel your pain and heal you, maybe by bringing someone into your life that can help you do so. For any reason a person passes no matter a bum on the street that is homeless, an addict, anyone young or old. A life is a life. No life is more valuable than another and life is precious period. We need to realize life is a gift and remember there are people fighting to save their lives while we treat ourselves and others reckless with no care. Maybe when you take time to see how lucky you are to be able to walk, talk, and see and the list of goes on, you will realize these are all gifts. Don’t take life so lightly you have one shot, one life, always keep this in mind and know how blessed you are. God Bless xo Barbara Jeanne

Saving A Relationship!

WHILE LOVE CAN BE SO HARD AND AT TIMES IT CAN CRUSH OUR HEARTS, WHILE IT DOES LAST IT FEELS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. THE THING IS THE FEELINGS OF AWH THAT WE FEEL IN THE BEGINNING AT SOME TIME SOONER OR LATER IT LEAVES US AND WE MOVE INTO ANOTHER LEVEL OF THE RELATIONSHIP WHICH WE MAY NOT LIKE THAT WE LOSE THE FEELING OF YOU CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THIS PERSON TO ITS COMFORTABLE. II IS SAD THAT PEOPLE ALLOW THIS TO LEAVE WHEN IT DOESN’T HAVE TO, NOT COMPLETELY. WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO KEEP EVEN A PART OF THESE FEELINGS ALIVE IS WHEN YOU WILL GET A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WANT TO SEE THE OTHER PERSON AND THAT IS A BIGGY. TO CONTINUE TO MAKE THE PERSON HAVE THAT WANT TO SEE YOU, TO TOUCH YOU TO LOVE YOU. THERE ARE WAYS TO DO THIS; WE HAVE TO CONTINUE TO KEEP THE FUN IN THE RELATIONSHIP, THE FREINDSHIP. BEING BEST FRIENDS IS EVEN GREATER. HAVING THAT YEA, I WANT TO SEE THEM BECAUSE YOU DON’T NAG, RAG OR TREAT THEM ANY DIFFERENT THEN YOU DID WHEN YOU FIRST MET. IF YOU CHANGE INTO A DIFFERENT PERSON AND ARE NO LONGER FUN TO BE WITH YOU LOSE THE WANT TO SEE YOU AND THAT IS WHERE THE PROBLEMS COME IN. SO LEARN WHAT YOUR PARTNER WANTS AND WHAT YOU WANT FROM THEM. EVERY RELATIONSHIP CHANGES, BUT YOU WANT IT TO CHANGE IN A GOOD WAY. YOU ALSO WANT TO TRY TO STAY ON THE SAME PATH. YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THIS, WHY SOMEONE WOULD WANT TO STAY WITH A PERSON THAT HAS CHANGE SO MUCH THE RELATIONSHIP IS NO LONGER FUN OR CARING. THIS ADVICE MAY NOT SAVE EVERY RELATIONSHIP, BUT IT DIFFINITNEY WILL SAVE SOME. IT DEPENDS IF YOUR EARS ARE OPEN TO LISTEN AND THAT IS A BIG PROBLEM. PEOPLE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP, HOW BAD IT MAY BE AND WHAT SHOULD THEY DO. AT TIMES YOU MAY TALK TO EVERYONE THAT MIGHT LISTEN BUT WON’T HEAR ANYONES ADVICE. WHEN YOU LEARN TO LISTEN AND PRACTUCE THE GOOD ADVICE YOU HEAR, IS WHEN YOU WILL LEARN TO HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP. SOMETIMES YOU CAN’T SEE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AS WELL AS PEOPLE ON THE OUTSIDE. THE BEST PERSON TO ASK IS A RELATIONSHIP SPECIALIST, A COUSELOR OR YOUR MOM. BUT THE KEYS IS TO PRACTICE WHEN YOU ARE GIVEN GOOD ADVICE. REMEMBER THIS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH YOURSELF. ARE YOU EASY GOING, FUN TO BE WITH AND TRY NOT TO JUDGE THE PERSON YOUR WITH. WOMEN PLEASE DON'T NAG LIKE A MOTHER AND MEN ONCE YOU CONQUER, YOU ASSUME THE WOMAN IS THERE FOR GOOD. YOU SHOULD THINK OF YOUR PARTNER AS YOUR BEST FRIEND. IS YOUR PARTNERS YOUR BEST FRIEND, AND DO YOU TREAT THEM AS SUCH? XO BARBARA

Summer Lovin Happens So Fast (Part 2)

Summer love can be the best, so romantic. Sitting under the stars holding each other feels so wonderful. It helps a lot to be with someone you are digging. It can happen a bit faster in the nicer weather. If you have that significant other it may be a time to rekindle a relationship spiraling downward. Other couples just need a pick me up. It can be a fresh beginning for some couples. What can be the difference of it working or ending? How you both reciprocate your feelings, your love. If one is trying to be romantic and the other shuts you down then it will not work. Have an open mind when your partner has an idea, be spontaneous and go with the flow. When you say no to your partner’s idea, it leaves them feeling a bit hurt as if you may not care to try. They may pull back, so if for some reason you are not in the mood at that moment always communicate and let them know why and another time will be great. New couples keep an open mind when meeting. Don’t always go for looks or the money. Go with that person that makes you feel comfortable and wants to be there. So many times when looking for love we tend to look in the wrong place or many cases person. Give people a fair chance, you may be surprised that someone you never thought could work does, if you open your mind and more important your heart. This goes for relationships in progress and for the new. XO Barbara Jeanne

Is It Too Late To Save Your Relationship

Many times when you are in a relationship you feel as if you want out. You almost dislike your mate. You cringe when they speak to you; touch you and especially not wanting to have sex. You both feel and know something has gone terribly wrong, often putting the blame on each other. Most of the time you feel as if you are sleeping with a stranger and you are so eager to get out and find intimacy which you have been lacking. You once loved each other enough to become a couple, move in together, even to get married. You both need to sit down and listen. Allow the other to talk and tell you how they feel and what troubles them. After you each have had your say it will give you a better idea if your relationship is worth saving. You also have to remember whoever you are with comes stormy times. It is how you can work it out. If both parties are willing to do this you have a good chance of saving the relationship. If only one is aboard then you might have to jump ship. You never know by doing so it might turn the other one back into the right direction. Nothing needs to be decided or accomplished in one day. It took a while to make this mess it will take some time to heal but if you are both willing, that's a start. X0 Barbara Jeanne