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Not Connecting In Love? (Published)

Okay ladies and gentlemen. We know all the advice. There have been endless articles and book but why is it we are not taking the advice that is pushed in our faces? We get it from every direction including all the talk shows that gives advice for years now from Ricki Lake, Tyra Banks to now Wendy Williams. Almost every issue in any magazine has an article on how to get and keep a man to how to spice up your sex life, and everything in between. Yet our society is having quite a hard on how to find their special someone that you connect with and want to build a relationship with. Maybe the problem is either we are not taking time to watch and read, or we are not willing to change our ways. Even if it means that you have a great chance to achieve an absolutely fabulous relationship with someone that you want to have that always and forever. So many people I speak with have no clue of why they are not connecting with the person and I hate to say almost everyone is not handling how to achieve love properly. You would think it would be easy that you meet someone you like each to each other and you start a relationship. It’s not; first off you need to both be on the same page ready and wanting a relationship. Next, after you know it is not working out you need to let it go and not become plan B or a booty call. This is teaching wrong behavior. You get used to it and that is what you expect from the opposite sex on how you are supposed to be treated. Both men and women many times do not have a good healthy example to go by and this is so very important. So you follow the path of what you learn, how you’re treated and you accept it instead of asking to be treated better and knowing that if a person truly loves you they will move heaven and earth to be with you. That my friend is what real love feels like. The want to be with this person so badly that you would do anything because without them your life would feel incomplete. If you are saying I don’t feel this way about anyone then my friend you probably are a bit selfish and in need of learning how to give and love someone. But know that if you do take this advice and take the time to learn how to love what you will get in return in the real deal. It may not matter now, but don’t wait till you get to the age that you can kick yourself because you waited too long and there will come that time that age will and does matter. Barbara Jeanne xo


The Scoop of What Men & Women Think About Casual Sex

It seems as I do my research people go through people on dating sites almost like a piece of chewing gum. People are treated like the kind of gum that loses the flavor real fast and thrown away for the next piece of gum. In some cases though it’s a yoyo affect guys and girls keep coming back around to the same person. This weekend always keeping my eyes and hears open to do my research. It couldn’t have gotten an easier. The person sitting next to me said he came to meet his ex-girlfriend that seemed to be on a date with another guy that was the first warning sign for me. As soon as the guy she invited came she said she was going for a cigarette and never came back. Leaving him to hang with my fiancé and myself I soon would be in a crazy conversation about dating, dating sites and getting and the importance of getting laid. It might be an ordinary conversation for someone a bit younger but not so much for a 36 year old man. He stated the girl that had just left him have been playing this game for 10 years. He didn’t want to date her just have occasional sex when she came over to hang or party. Next he went on stating he met the nicest girl on this dating site called Plenty of Fish. He then went on to say that he has seen this girl 15 times and have not had sex with her yet. There are ladies still out here and maybe he was lucky to have found one. He doubted that she like him because he said “women usually have sex after one or two meetings”. Although I knew this and have heard this so many times, it is sad to think this is what men think of women. Next he was talking about a girl he met in June that he has casual sex and was texting as we were speaking for a hook up. He was also texting another girl he had met and hooked up with July and also has casual sex with. I wasn’t digging the hooking up and casual sex. I was getting the sense that this guy at 36 was more about getting laid then meeting a girl to have a relationship with. He informed me that he would love to be with the girl that he just met with the 15 dates but how he really wanted to get laid. The only thing that was stranger was that these girls were his booty calls and he was not someone that I would waste any amount of time with. I’m sorry to say but I would rather get some much needed sleep then to be under, on top or anywhere near this guy. Not that I am insinuating anything remotely close to that. It sickens me that this is not the first time I’ve heard that sex is just sex and it’s all good. That booty calls are okay by both women and men of any and every age. It is very disturbing that a woman would allow a man to enter her, have sex something so intimate and have not intentions. Do we even think who they could have been with the night before? What ever happen to chivalry?  Not that every date has to lead to marriage but I thought that dating was to meet and see if you liked this person to hang out and maybe take it to the next level. If this isn’t the case we can just be up front and honest like this guy sitting in the next seat and say “I want to have sex and nothing more are you game”? This way you let the people that are just in it for sex take their ride and the people looking for a real relationship have a chance to find love. Everyone has to live their life the way that makes them happy. Do think twice before you make simple decisions because it makes who you are, who you become. Barbara Jeanne xo


It's Time To Listen How to Find True Love, Existing Shouldn't Do!

I write article after article hoping that I will be able to get through to people on ways to find love, keep love and have a loving relationship. It seems that although all these articles and books are written by many people as well as me, people continue to do their own thing. I’m not sure if it is because people can’t help the urge to do what they want with the same outcome. And it’s an outcome that is usually not what the person wanted. So do we ever stop and say I am not in a happy relationship, not in a relationship, or I want to be in a loving relationship. When do you say to yourself I need help and maybe I should take time to listen, read, and learn? You have to be able to have someone being truthful with you and the hard part is the truth sometimes hurts. You have got to say at some point I’m tired of the relationship that turns sour and I want a relationship that stays sweet. A lasting relationship that will be loving, make you feel at peace, content and happy. Content is good but with contentment needs happiness, or all you end up feeling eventually is that your relationship just exists. What is this article trying to get across to anyone that reads it? It is time to learn how to get the forever after love story and yes we all can achieve it. In doing this you need to take time to read, to learn and most to do. We have too many people going to bed with someone they are less than happy with and too many people waking up to another day of just getting by. I can’t say this enough we have one life, don’t you want to love, really love and truly be loved? Barbara Jeanne


Old Fashion Values Will Get The Commitment (Publish Article)

Many people are getting married at an older age. Although you may think that the men and women may be more mature this isn’t always quite the case. After a man reaches a certain age he is no longer a young man, he now becomes a bachelor. At this point a man starts to get set in his ways. Yes the same as a women but the difference between a man and a woman is as a woman gets older she may get a bit more anxious to get married. A woman still wants that ring. A man at some point wants it but on his terms. A man becomes so set in his ways that he eliminates women much quicker. Things seem to irritate a bachelor much easier which makes them discard a romantic interest much faster. Many times for reasons being they want it their way because they have become more selfish. It’s their way and if the woman doesn’t accept this, then it’s good bye to that woman. A man quickly finds himself alone wondering what could be wrong with all these women instead of realizing that it is him that may be becoming unreasonable. Women have their own issues, I am not saying we are perfect but most women want to love and be loved. Where at some point men can take it or leave it because they do not give it time to see if the woman they are interested in is the right person. Here’s where men seem to call women when they are in need of intimacy instead of calling women because they want a relationship. So we need to fix this situation and it’s simple. Woman should not go to see the man when he calls and wants to see her because he is in need, or wants intimacy. This rule goes for any age. This too will bring back more couples. Now if all women as a whole would do this, men might realize they need to have a relationship instead of causal fling. And in doing this we might get these men to get married at an earlier age. Not saying 35 or 40 is a bad age to marry, but late 20’s is an age that women and men can grow and learn together. You might say you want to be secure with you job, etc. but when you are younger you tend to be more flexible and open which makes a relationship easier. There will always be the woman that will go and see that man without any ties and men will continue to find women that will come. This is just how the world is going but we evolved the world to become this way. Although it may be hard to bring back some of the old fashion values, even if we start little by little we will bring back true everlasting love. This won’t be for everyone but if you are romantic like me, or looking for love than it’s worth the try. Barbara Jeanne xo


Getting Your Man to Want You (The Want is So Important)

People meet and things seem to be going great as the usually do when the chemistry and the want is there. A man sees little flaws when they like a woman. Also men will treat a woman as the woman is treating the man. For example if you are soft and sweet that is how they learn to treat you. If you’re working with a potty mouth and are rough around the edges that again is what you are teaching your man. You are telling your man how you want to be treated, what you will accept. Yes you do all that. Now you are also teaching your new guy your ways. Are you fun loving? Are you happy and loving? Could it be you are a type of woman that is demanding and likes to nag and complain? I am not here to say what type of woman you are I am telling you men aren’t really digging that.

You need to give the man the want. The want to see you, be with you, spend time with you. As well as bring the relationship to the next level. I had a guy I was seeing for five years, a great guy. About four years into our relationship he said how amazing I was. He said “you still give me the want to come to see you. Oh, he lived an hour away as well. You don’t need to be a puppet by any means by it would be nice if you keep it soft. What does that mean? There is no reason to yell like a lunatic if you’re pissed at your man. If he does piss you off, he can hear you speak calmly. You will get a lot further with this behavior than talking down, screaming or acting irrational.

Give your man the want to see you by acting as you do when you want to get a man. If you behaved the way you do into the relationship you would not have gotten this far, so you do know what you are doing. Relationship would last longer having the man with the want to be there, the want to do for you. Now if your man is just lazy and he is the one that changes then you have to tell him the same thing. You have to give me the want to be with you. What are you doing for me to give me the want? So it does go both ways. Barbara Jeanne xo