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Wednesday
Sep052012

The Scoop of What Men & Women Think About Casual Sex

It seems as I do my research people go through people on dating sites almost like a piece of chewing gum. People are treated like the kind of gum that loses the flavor real fast and thrown away for the next piece of gum. In some cases though it’s a yoyo affect guys and girls keep coming back around to the same person. This weekend always keeping my eyes and hears open to do my research. It couldn’t have gotten an easier. The person sitting next to me said he came to meet his ex-girlfriend that seemed to be on a date with another guy that was the first warning sign for me. As soon as the guy she invited came she said she was going for a cigarette and never came back. Leaving him to hang with my fiancé and myself I soon would be in a crazy conversation about dating, dating sites and getting and the importance of getting laid. It might be an ordinary conversation for someone a bit younger but not so much for a 36 year old man. He stated the girl that had just left him have been playing this game for 10 years. He didn’t want to date her just have occasional sex when she came over to hang or party. Next he went on stating he met the nicest girl on this dating site called Plenty of Fish. He then went on to say that he has seen this girl 15 times and have not had sex with her yet. There are ladies still out here and maybe he was lucky to have found one. He doubted that she like him because he said “women usually have sex after one or two meetings”. Although I knew this and have heard this so many times, it is sad to think this is what men think of women. Next he was talking about a girl he met in June that he has casual sex and was texting as we were speaking for a hook up. He was also texting another girl he had met and hooked up with July and also has casual sex with. I wasn’t digging the hooking up and casual sex. I was getting the sense that this guy at 36 was more about getting laid then meeting a girl to have a relationship with. He informed me that he would love to be with the girl that he just met with the 15 dates but how he really wanted to get laid. The only thing that was stranger was that these girls were his booty calls and he was not someone that I would waste any amount of time with. I’m sorry to say but I would rather get some much needed sleep then to be under, on top or anywhere near this guy. Not that I am insinuating anything remotely close to that. It sickens me that this is not the first time I’ve heard that sex is just sex and it’s all good. That booty calls are okay by both women and men of any and every age. It is very disturbing that a woman would allow a man to enter her, have sex something so intimate and have not intentions. Do we even think who they could have been with the night before? What ever happen to chivalry?  Not that every date has to lead to marriage but I thought that dating was to meet and see if you liked this person to hang out and maybe take it to the next level. If this isn’t the case we can just be up front and honest like this guy sitting in the next seat and say “I want to have sex and nothing more are you game”? This way you let the people that are just in it for sex take their ride and the people looking for a real relationship have a chance to find love. Everyone has to live their life the way that makes them happy. Do think twice before you make simple decisions because it makes who you are, who you become. Barbara Jeanne xo

Tuesday
Sep042012

It's Time To Listen How to Find True Love, Existing Shouldn't Do!

I write article after article hoping that I will be able to get through to people on ways to find love, keep love and have a loving relationship. It seems that although all these articles and books are written by many people as well as me, people continue to do their own thing. I’m not sure if it is because people can’t help the urge to do what they want with the same outcome. And it’s an outcome that is usually not what the person wanted. So do we ever stop and say I am not in a happy relationship, not in a relationship, or I want to be in a loving relationship. When do you say to yourself I need help and maybe I should take time to listen, read, and learn? You have to be able to have someone being truthful with you and the hard part is the truth sometimes hurts. You have got to say at some point I’m tired of the relationship that turns sour and I want a relationship that stays sweet. A lasting relationship that will be loving, make you feel at peace, content and happy. Content is good but with contentment needs happiness, or all you end up feeling eventually is that your relationship just exists. What is this article trying to get across to anyone that reads it? It is time to learn how to get the forever after love story and yes we all can achieve it. In doing this you need to take time to read, to learn and most to do. We have too many people going to bed with someone they are less than happy with and too many people waking up to another day of just getting by. I can’t say this enough we have one life, don’t you want to love, really love and truly be loved? Barbara Jeanne

Thursday
Aug302012

Old Fashion Values Will Get The Commitment (Publish Article)

Many people are getting married at an older age. Although you may think that the men and women may be more mature this isn’t always quite the case. After a man reaches a certain age he is no longer a young man, he now becomes a bachelor. At this point a man starts to get set in his ways. Yes the same as a women but the difference between a man and a woman is as a woman gets older she may get a bit more anxious to get married. A woman still wants that ring. A man at some point wants it but on his terms. A man becomes so set in his ways that he eliminates women much quicker. Things seem to irritate a bachelor much easier which makes them discard a romantic interest much faster. Many times for reasons being they want it their way because they have become more selfish. It’s their way and if the woman doesn’t accept this, then it’s good bye to that woman. A man quickly finds himself alone wondering what could be wrong with all these women instead of realizing that it is him that may be becoming unreasonable. Women have their own issues, I am not saying we are perfect but most women want to love and be loved. Where at some point men can take it or leave it because they do not give it time to see if the woman they are interested in is the right person. Here’s where men seem to call women when they are in need of intimacy instead of calling women because they want a relationship. So we need to fix this situation and it’s simple. Woman should not go to see the man when he calls and wants to see her because he is in need, or wants intimacy. This rule goes for any age. This too will bring back more couples. Now if all women as a whole would do this, men might realize they need to have a relationship instead of causal fling. And in doing this we might get these men to get married at an earlier age. Not saying 35 or 40 is a bad age to marry, but late 20’s is an age that women and men can grow and learn together. You might say you want to be secure with you job, etc. but when you are younger you tend to be more flexible and open which makes a relationship easier. There will always be the woman that will go and see that man without any ties and men will continue to find women that will come. This is just how the world is going but we evolved the world to become this way. Although it may be hard to bring back some of the old fashion values, even if we start little by little we will bring back true everlasting love. This won’t be for everyone but if you are romantic like me, or looking for love than it’s worth the try. Barbara Jeanne xo

Sunday
Aug122012

Getting Your Man to Want You (The Want is So Important)

People meet and things seem to be going great as the usually do when the chemistry and the want is there. A man sees little flaws when they like a woman. Also men will treat a woman as the woman is treating the man. For example if you are soft and sweet that is how they learn to treat you. If you’re working with a potty mouth and are rough around the edges that again is what you are teaching your man. You are telling your man how you want to be treated, what you will accept. Yes you do all that. Now you are also teaching your new guy your ways. Are you fun loving? Are you happy and loving? Could it be you are a type of woman that is demanding and likes to nag and complain? I am not here to say what type of woman you are I am telling you men aren’t really digging that.

You need to give the man the want. The want to see you, be with you, spend time with you. As well as bring the relationship to the next level. I had a guy I was seeing for five years, a great guy. About four years into our relationship he said how amazing I was. He said “you still give me the want to come to see you. Oh, he lived an hour away as well. You don’t need to be a puppet by any means by it would be nice if you keep it soft. What does that mean? There is no reason to yell like a lunatic if you’re pissed at your man. If he does piss you off, he can hear you speak calmly. You will get a lot further with this behavior than talking down, screaming or acting irrational.

Give your man the want to see you by acting as you do when you want to get a man. If you behaved the way you do into the relationship you would not have gotten this far, so you do know what you are doing. Relationship would last longer having the man with the want to be there, the want to do for you. Now if your man is just lazy and he is the one that changes then you have to tell him the same thing. You have to give me the want to be with you. What are you doing for me to give me the want? So it does go both ways. Barbara Jeanne xo

Saturday
Jul212012

Pleasing Your Mate Simple & How!

When we start a relationship, we tend to be on our best behavior, which is good. Things tend to change as time goes by. We stop dressing as we did; maybe our manners slack a bit. Men may become lazy when it comes to us women and woman start to become more demanding. Then it seems to snow ball, in the way that both genders are not really fun to be with. Leaving us wondering if we really want to be with this person, and in most cases the relationship slowly fades. If the relationship has been going for a while, it takes longer and the nastiness sets in. First off, yes relationships do change but we hope for the better, to grow in a positive direction. If that does not happen, that’s where things go bad and it may end. I am not saying a relationship doesn’t have its ups and down, that is totally normal. I mean the meanness that comes out when we get disappointed in the relationship we have, that is not going our way. There is a solution, first off men stop being lazy, because you can be. It makes us women feel neglected and unloved. It makes women feel nice when you take time to ask how we are, open the door, hugs us like you never want to let go. Even a hug when you walk through the door would be nice. Oh yes men we woman like to be romanced, even if you are not in the mood, it takes seconds. How, seconds? “I missed you today”. Here is another one “I know I don’t say this enough but you are everything to me”. That is simple romance and it takes seconds. Women should do the same to her man. When you know he had a hard day, rub his shoulders, or even better give him the night off to just be him. No nagging no asking. He will appreciate it more than you know. These are just a few ways to keep a relationship to continue to go smoothly. You men will have is a content woman and women you will have happy campers as well in your men. Just that fact that we know that you men care, melts are hearts. So it has that snow ball effect, it makes us woman want to do for you men. So if you are keeping us happy we keep you happy. There are the people that can't be please, in this case that is a decision you have to make, by weighing the pros and cons. One last thing, it is important that you do take care of yourself. Men love you totally for your heart. Men want to feel like they are not judged and can laugh with the woman they are with. A best friend, that they can tell you anything and we woman would not make fun of them. Men are also very visual, did you ever here the saying. I like what I see? Men love to see pretty things that includes seeing you has a happy sweet person, makes him see you beautiful, not just by how you look but by how you act. The honest truth is that men like to see a woman taking care of themself and I don’t mean picture perfect. Men don't see flaws like woman do. Did your man ever say, she's pretty and you say what are you crazy, lol. Once again men do not see all the flaws! Men you’re included, stop wearing last year’s finest and clean yourself up. I don’t, want to be blunt or step on toes, just want to keep it real...both genders, you know how you are supposed to act. You know you should take care of yourself, and treat you spouse or honey with tender loving care. If you both took those three words seriously we would have so many less relationship problems. I’m not sending a news flash. Just a wakeup call! XO Barbara Jeanne