Plan B, Just won't do!

Most people have a type of person they like. The look, maybe tall and dark, or blonde with blue eyes. Either way we meet all different types of people, with all different types of beliefs. Some people you meet and you click, other people you meet, and you know it is a no go. Then there is the type that you are not sure, you might want to keep around, maybe because you are afraid you might not find anyone else. Maybe you think you won't find anyone better. So you keep this person around and try to mold them into the person you want. Although, they will probally never be who you want, and the two of you probally won't end up a couple, well the real thing. You still don't want to let them go. The problem is that these people that you are holding out on the limb, probally really likes you. They have that feeling that you may not be letting them completely in. That you might not be as affectionate. Usually they have the feeling, but they like you too much to let you go as well. So you are holding on to them just in case no one comes along. So let us call them plan B. Plan B is now disfunctional because they have the feeling they are plan B, but are willing to hang in there hoping, just hoping that you won't find anyone and they will become your plan A. This isn't working, what this is doing, it is bringing negative energy to you, because your not being honet with the person. Also you are not leaving yourself open to meeting your plan A. So best bet is to be honest let plan B go and let your plan A be able to come into you life. Nobody should be plan B to anyone. Everyone deserves plan A, should be plan A. I helped someone that was plan B for 5 years, the damge it did to them mentally was horrible. They lost their self confidence and their dignity. It took along time for them to come back around and find themself again. If you know a person isn't right for you. Let them go, it is the right thing to do. Don't leave someone hanging in the wing. If you are honest and they still want to stick around, make sure you make it known, because all though you have been honest, This people, keep hoping you will fall for them, because they probally already have fallen for you, sad but true. Doing the right thing, always will bring good to you..just a thought to remember. xo Barbara Jeanne

Believe in You, the Rest Will Follow

With a country you can speak your mind. The only time we seem to do this is when we are being forward. Want to get our point across, or being rude. Well for most. If you talk about grapic sex, nudity, or being up front and open, that is just too over the top for some people. I'm not sure I understand this when almoat every television show, on cable and prime time has that exact warning in it, before the show starts. We don't run out of the room or change the station, we watch. People also pick up their favorite magazines. For woman it shows us everything a woman should be, what to wear and to cook. The mens magazines shows them how they should be looking, how good a woman should look and well, thats about it, oh and a few articles. Most magazines have articles telling you how to be better in bed, how to get the man, woman of your choice..how how how. Im sure they have their methods, not really, working for a magazine, they tell you want you want to hear to sell. Just as...would you rather buy a book, that tells you "how to get the person of you dreams", or a reality book...Stop following someone that doesn't love you and here's how to find someone that does. Well, quite a long title but you get what I mean. I try to be honest and tell you like it is. Why would you want to waste your time, with someone that may not be into you. There are the signs, we all see them, yet we pour precious time, energy and sometimes money, trying to buy things, these people want. It doesn't make them want you or love you. So, I try to keep it real. To be honest, but caring. I believe people are the most precious things on this earth. We have to start treating ourselves this way. Next treat the people that do care about you the way you want and should be treated. The people that deserve it. By treating yourselve better, you will attract others to you. By treating others better, well that is just good karma. Everyone wants to know, the person that is so confidence and sure of themselves. I said sure not cocky. So don't beleive everything you read and be yourself. Learn to truley love who you are. Learn to trust your intuition. Remember women..."a womans intution is never wrong". I truly believe in this. Men, know as well, just don't have that complete knack. Never doubt what you think you know. The percentage is high that you are right. Believe in you and the rest will follow. Be a leader not a follower and as I said before, if you are not one to lead at least be yourself. It will make you stronger and that is a great start! xo Barbara Jeanne

Cheating...It's Just Nasty

Researching, I came across, on the front cover of a magazine, with an article in it, " how to cheat and not get caught, " women tell you how. I was a bit disturbed. That any magazine would promote this. Most peole as a whole, do not agree or believe in cheating. Either because they have been cheated on, or they just disagree. I feel cheating should be a deal breaker. It is almost the only thing that I feel is a big "hell no". I'm going to be blunt for a minute, but for me once my man put his penis in another womans vagina, that to me is disgustingh and they need to keep on walking. Men as well as woman that I asked as a whole, say that they totally agree, thy don't like cheating. So, if so many people totally agree with me, how come it's happening all over. So much that there is and articles on how to do it. If you are cheating, not only is it low, it's disgusting for the person you are with that is clueless. If you get something you don't even give them a chance or a choice, So think twice before you cross over to the nasty side and lose a good thing that you have. If you don't think you have nothing much, then you don't need them right. So let them go. Infact before you have sex with somone else. Have respect for the person you are with. Let them go. It's the right thing to do. xo barbara jeanne

How Far Is Too Far

I stayed up last night reseraching, even watching a 60s cult classic called " PSYCH - OUT, where it was sex, drugs and rock and roll. Every ones was tripping on LSD. Jack Nicholson was in it, and a few other big names. Anyway, although the plot was simple. Peace not war. The sex or love making was kept unknown and taking the drugs, was kept unseen. All the trips were bad. So I guess that is a plus, left you thinking, boy I sure don't want to go through that. Next, I checked out the 70;s cult classic " Go Ask Alice, about a fifteen year old girl, who wrote a diary, stating how a shy girl got slipped LSD in her coke and liked how she felt, but it caused her nothing but grief and ended up over dosing at seventeen and died. So that also, wasn't appealing. Making kids thinks twice to go down that path.The book was made into an ABC movie in 1973 and still is being published holding strong today. There also was a movie Havoc, a 2005 movie with Anne Hathaway, where she plays a trouble teen. Shes from the good side of the tracks somhow finds herself in a gang, only wanting to get out, but couldn't before somoene was dead. Last movie to tell you about today is the Imformers. They make this movie look like every teenage dreams. Acting too old and having the time of their lives, being reckless. In the movie, the one girl, who was indulging in sex with many people, ends up dying from aids alone on a towel on the beach. So each movie shows the dark side of partying and being wild. If you talk to teens, they say the shows that are on are close to reality how teens really do act. Are teens acting how the are taught to act or are reenacting what they see. I have a feeling after talking to many teens and watching many shows on different stations, Nickelodeon, especially, Degrassi and Giantic, way over the top in every aspect. MTV has a new show called Skins that news is calling it child porn, because all the shows stars and extras are minors. Even if you didn't have cable you can find all this action on the prime stations. Children are watching shows like this but adults are free to watch shows that are just as captivating, and of couse we are allowed. We as adults still are influenced. We are shown what is appealing or what is right and we act upon it. From what to eat, how to dress, to what is attractive or appealing to us we still act on. So if we as adult are still impessionable, imagine what what it is doing to our children that are still learning, and their behaviorals are still be molded. What is going to be acceptable in the furture. We already have nudity and sex. So as a parent, you have to ask yourself how far is too far? XO Barbara Jeanne

Don't Beg For the Love You Deserve

When you begin a relationship, usually it is mutual, which is a beautiful thing. As time goes on, it continues to be either mutual, or a bit one sided. If for some reason this does happen, the one being pushed away can feel this tremendously. What do they start doing? Thet start to try harder. Thinking that if I just expressed my love more, they will see and it will fix the problem. Instead what it does is make the other person run the other way and fast. Yes they might acknowledge you are doing nice gestures for them, but it will not make them care for you more. When we are five years old we are programmed to run, when chases us. When we are older, we value things that are harder to get. Not saying this is right. The child that gets ever toy, the get new toys and do not really appreciate them as much as a child who get less. I am not judging, just what I have learned in psychology. We are taught from a very young age and bring this into adulthood. We also feel the more we are pushed away the more we want. It becomes an infatuation trying to get back what you had. Using your own intuition, know when the person is saying nothing is wrong, your intuition is right. The calls and text are coming less, you are seeing the person less. You don not need a big banner running across the beach from one of those planes. So what do you do? First off, doing more will not help. Actually doing less will. They know who you are, so give them a chance to mss you. Don't lose your self respect. When I was writting  the story yesterday about the girl that her husband was cheating on. The sad part was she told her husband, go do what you have to do and I will be waiting. Only for him to come back to her to say he wanted to leave her. So...STOP...tryng to make someone love you. You are the most precious gift, and learn to know this. Don't allow yourself to beg for love, and lose you dignity. It makes the person you want and others think that you don't feel worthy of them. So pick up your head, grab a hold of your heart and love yourself, because their is somone that will apprciate you for it, and love you back.  XO Barbara Jeanne