How to Get Over the Hurt

Everyone gives you their recipe on how to get over a break up. The fact really is, the only one that can get over a break up is you. You can eat all the ice cream, or sleep the time away, but what has to tell you to move on is you own head. All you can think is how sad and hurt you are. How much you miss them. At first you might even say you hate them, then you remember all those good times and think what happened, we seemed so happy. You stay in a stangnant stage. Will you meet someone new, will you love them as much. You are unsure if you are able to love anyone as much. The answer is yes you will. You can not keep running away from reality, you have to turn around and face it. Think to yourself, don't you want to be loved. Everytime, I ended a relationship although I was the one to walk away. it was scarey and I was hurt. The sadness was tremendous. I felt so much sadness, all I did was cry and watch Sex In The City. I thought these girls new about men and believe it or not, it actually did help me through a break up. I think I saw almost even season. I got up and dusted myself off and went out. I was me, happy again. It took a week to find my next love. I know, they say you should wait, but I say when loves comes you grab that with two hands and embrace it,. It is new and fresh and you realize you are able to love again. It may take you longer, but you are not going to move on, with icream and a box of tissue, yes it helps. After you have done this, get up and get out. Do not allow yourself to hurt over a person you are no longer with. There is a reason it's over, because for one reason or another it did not work. So let it go!. If it comes back deal with it then. Until then live like you are loving for the first time, with that excitement. if you do so, you will go into each relationship with the touch that this is your best love ever. If you go into with sadness you are doomed. So love like theres no tomorrow, love likes it's your first. Love however you want to love, but love. xo Barbara Jeanne

Women, Ten Turn ons For a Man

1. Be happy! Men love to see a woman laughing, enjoying life. Positive woman is a plus. Men are drawn to woman who are.
2. Be confident! Have an opinion. What do you want?  Don't leave all the decissions for the man, They like help, and don't want to make them all. Talk, express but please don't nag or bitch!
3. Dress to impress! We all have those days that we want to be pajama mamas, or for you single girls, laid back. You also need those days though, when you bring your game on and dress to impress.
4. Carry a conversation! Know what your man likes to talk about and talk about things you like, but talk. A man loves when he doesn't have to carry the conversation all the time, and when he is talking, maybe about sports. Try know what he's saying. Espn, breaks it down, so you don't have to watch every sport. Whatever your man is into search it, you can even goggle it. So do your homework'
5. Say it's okay to touch! So many woman pull away from their man when being touched. After a while, it becomes a thing of the past because they have tried so many times. So if  it's because of a few extra pounds or you didn't shave, they don't care. It is a turn on to being able to touch. Men like to know that you are theirs.
6. Cook! I'm not saying all the time, but once in awhile, put your apron on and cook. So many people have turned to fast food and fast cooking. Once in awhile make a nice meal light the candles and eat.
7. Bring on the romance! So many times woman expect it is the mans jobs to wine and dine us. Or the man should approach us for a hug. Sometimes we woman actually wait to see how long it takes for the man to realize and come give us ladies a hug. It has to be both parties working at romance.
8. Bring on the sex! Two different things, don't leave it for the man to say " hey you want to fool around" woman you are right, it is a turn off. So we need to teach the man how it is done right. By doing so it boomerangs back the right way in our direction. Put on a cute little sexy outfit. That you fell comfortable in. Do it your own way, or what your man likes, but do it. Showing him you have taken time to clean up. Not every night, but special nights, so he won't go to bed with the worn out boxers. 
9. Do what he likes, even if you don't! There are times we don't like to do everything your man likes, even though when you were trying to get him to commit, or if you still are, we liked just about everything. Once the commitment is down, we lose over half their interest and actually don't want the man to do it anymore as well. Let him be him, and he will love you more for allowing this.
10. Stay you! What does these one mean? Stay the person that he met. Yes, we all change but sometime woman change so much that you are no longer the woman that your man fell in love with and that eventually is a deal breaker. So be true and be you from the get go. If you do have a big change of heart, atleast explain but keep the communication open. Men aren't big talkers, but they would like to know, why you are acting like a completely different person.                                                              So woman don't think it is all on you, the mans list is next. I would hope that you would want to keep up the relationship in a healthy direction. The best way of doing that is by not pushing them away, having good conversations, keeping the closness, that includes touching and sex. Let them see you in a different light at times, do dress to impress. Let them be who they are. Enjoy each other but most impotantly show them love and have fun! XO BARBARA JEANNE

Do Men & Woman Want the Same Things

Working in the gym, listening to almost every man and woman. Asking everyone that comes my way, in a relationship or not. What is it that you want, here is what I got. Men do wants relationship, but they don't want to waste their time on something they feel is not going to work.So that makes them tend to go from woman to woman. Although they say it is very hard to find a woman. I asked men how often do you want to see a woman, then said it depends, if she is cool and can hang, then they want to be around her more. Men said they hate being bitched at, that they toss those woman to the side. They don't like women that call them all the time, they want to do the calling and they don't like when woman want to go to fast. If they go on a date and she makes future plans to fast, maybe to meet the children, it is a turn off. Another might be if you do have sex on the first date, woman expect it is the start of a relationship. Men said they actually like to work for it, a bit of a challendge. Next, let me tell you what the woman said. They don't feel many men want relationships, they feel once they have sex with them, they don't hear from the man. Woman want relationships, but say it seems men and relationships are hard to come by or find and less men seem to really actually want a relationship. So they feel if they do find a man that wants a relationship, they are keepers. Also if they find a man that is good to them and wants one, they will give them a chance. That seems to be becoming more important these days, then those men with an edge. You kow the good looking guy that seemed to be hard to figure out. Woman over thrty says that is so not appealing. Woman don't want to play games, don't have time for it. So what I got womem and men both want a relationship, but it seems to me men want to find the right person. I hate to say this, but I think men still are thinking with there little heads alot and that is were their mistake is. Woman seem to be giving more men a chance, although they also seem to be going by their chemistry meter. When people realize it's what in the heart and how you are treated. Chemistry fades becuse you see the person for who they are, then that makes you see this person you were so in wow over  in a different light. It's nice to have good outsides but it is what in the inside that last and counts in the end. Nobody really wants a good lookingh nasty person. So if you ave fun, with a good conversation and you are feeling them a bit, give them a chance. You never know! xo Barbara Jeanne

Just Love

Love the people you know with unconditional love. Love them for who they are not for who you want them to be. You can not change them into the person, they must want to change.  Remember you as well are not perfect and you as well are a work in progress. Always as well, if you think you can grow, if shows you are a bigger person. More important it leaves room for you to be a better person. When you love someone for who they are not who they can be, and leave your heart open, love will come to you. You might be surprised, because it will allow you to be able to  find love alot easier and the person you let in your life might be the person that is exactly who you need. Remember, it is so nice to feel that you are in love, but even nicer to feel you are extremely loved. More importantly it nice for someone to be there that accepts you for who you are, to boost your self esteem. So keep the positive people in your life, lose those that are negative. Or atleast keep them at bay. Everything is a chain reaction, positive brings positive, negative brings negative. That is your choice how you want to live but it all snowball is the direction you pick.When and iIf you learn to just love, then you truly are blessed! XO Barbara Jeanne

Casual or Serious Relationship, How Do You Know

How do you know the person that you just met or started seeings intentions, for a serious or casual relationship. There are a few ways and signs they will show. This is going for both genders. Knowing this can save alot of heart ache and ill feelings towards the person. Sometimes the person doesn't say what they want because they are not sure, others are up front with what they are interested in. It's good to know. If the person you are interested in,is calling you daily, wanted to see you, that is a sign of commitment. Just texting is not quite good enough. I always have said, it takes two minutes to make a phone call. If the person talks about doing things in the future, good sign. Especially if a person is wanting to be touched, or is touching you, not pulling a way, is another good sign .Showing signs of affection is a great way of showing you care. I don't think I have to say which is the good gesture. That old saying, a picture says a thousand words, has a lot of truth to it. I recently was giving advice to a lady, and she showed me a piture. I saw a picture that reminded me of that couple standing by the church holding a pitch fork.The picture of the two of them showed no emotions. I told her to look at the picture and tell me what she saw? Her relationship shortly ended. So look at the pictures with the person whom you want to give your heart to, what do you see? If you are dating someone and things are going well, but for some reason the calls are coming less, with less texting and contact. This is a sign they are pulling away. They might of thought at one time they wanted more from you, or even a comitment, but they may of had a change of heart. In any case, the best way to know is to ask and if they are to much of a coward, or may not want to hurt your feelings to say. If this is the case then use you intuition and hopefully these tips will help. xo barbara jeanne