You Think You're Ready To Move On From Your Relationship (Something to Think About)

So you feel as though you have had enough to the point that you are ready to leave. Before you call it quits you truly need to make sure that once you walk through the door you are not going to regret it. Why do I say this because many people do regret it and have second thoughts? And believe it or not many men feel the impact harder than women. Women feel it in the beginning. If a woman hasn’t found another love when the break up occurs then she feels more pain, or if she is not the one that is initiating the break up. But once she has moved on she is pretty much good to go. She will cry a river and ponder every equation in her head but once she finally lets the pain go, she can and will move on. She may think back when a break up occurs in the future but very seldom if her love life is up and running does she feel the impact long after. Now a man can want the break up. Think he’s other half is crazy and can’t wait to be out of the union. He can say he is so over her. But when he does break free it will hit him and he will remember the good times. Maybe even take the blame, if he feels it could have been him. Now if he’s life doesn’t go has planned and move forward men have a tendency to get depressed. They ponder what they did. They waited so long to find the right woman and now they let her go. They may even say she was the right one when they look back years from now. One big problem with this it doesn’t allow the man to move on to another woman and the woman might be beautiful, brilliant and in he’s head he can’t pull this new relationship off. No matter how wonderful it might be. This is the difference between men and women. Do keep in mind any relationship you go into will have their problems and lose that newness that you felt for the person. But if you go into a relationship that is better and brings you much more happiness then you did right for you and you partner. It is very hard to find a good healthy relationship to last a lifetime. And every relationship requires work. So you can conquer a beautiful union if you put your heart into it and what you might finally figure out is how to get back every lasting love. Barbara Jeanne xo

True Love Lost & Trying To Figure it Out What Happened...

you finally found that someone that you feel is worth to give your heart to. You feel this might be the one. Suddenly you find yourself in a relationship that you are completely happy with. They make you feel as you can be yourself. You can feel comfortable being goofy, silly and without judgment. Things are going great making you have a feeling of security and contentment. They make you feel you are everything they wanted. You somehow get so carried away, and truly believe that this is how it’s going to stay. Why wouldn’t it. Nothing has changed with who you are, how you act, or how you treat them. But right when you think things are better than ever, things start to change. Then One day out of the blue they change into a different person. Somehow your happy dream is disappearing into sadness. When you talk on the phone their voice comes through differently a distance that was never there. They don’t sound like that person that you snuggled in bed with or the one that you fitted your hands together and said they fit so well. They said you two were meant to be together. You now feel like they are becoming a stranger a feeling comes over you of desperation. You don’t want to lose this beautiful relationship that you were having. And it seems that these great memories are just becoming a dream that was. You now wonder if they have been cheating on you, or maybe found another love? Maybe they just don’t care and you are done and now a thing of the past. All you know that person who called your baby; your honey is now someone that is crushing your heart. You try to figure out in your head what happened but you can’t. You go over the relationship over and over and nothing makes sense. When you talk you ask, all you get is a little reply. Barely any words come from their mouth. Usually most people do everything and anything under the sun to get what they had back. But to be in love as a couple you need two people. All you can do at this point is have your cry, and you will. But do realize that this shall pass and the sooner you let go the sooner the pain will go. And don’t turn back if you finally get over the pain. If they left you once without a good reason why would you ever put yourself through this pain again? So unless they have one heck of a good reason for what they did to you and the pain they caused you. Nothing they can do should be good enough. You can love them but that does not mean you have to be with them. As you move on to another don’t be tainted with hurt. Not everyone well behave like this. There are many people that want healthy relationships. So as you look at the last one in your rear view mirror know they lost true love and a good thing. Remember that’s not what you had when you left them but it is what you are looking for ahead of you so keep going and you will find it. Barbara Jeanne xo

Making Your Next Relationship Better Than the Last...To Last!

cond time around is not like the first one. Meaning that why would you repeat the same type of relationship, with the same type of person? But we do this over and over hoping for a different outcome but guess what, that doesn’t happen. We get the same damn outcome which is disappointment. So what can we do differently to change what seems to be a pattern. First off let’s try an example. Say women out there who like bad guys, or the guy that is always the challenge or can’t commit. For men you like the woman out of your range or the good looker but shallow or can’t hold a conversation. Oh how about the selfish person who puts themselves first, always. And believe me how you act, I don’t judge to each their own. You need to change something so maybe you can mix it up and find a person that is ready for a commitment. Here’s one someone that is just a nice person that would treat you well. Another one could be a person that is not into playing games. Let’s talk healthy. This would be someone looking for love and doesn’t have a trunk of baggage they are pulling behind them like a freight train. Like I said before, when you first meet someone the relationship should be effortless. Not that you don’t want to put you best foot forward and impress by dressing your best. Manners of course are important. But don’t be someone you are not. Then after a short period of time goes by and you are dating a stranger because you weren’t being honest with whom the true you are. So the next time around can be better than the first or second and so on if we change the pattern. Now if we can accomplish this it will be so much better than the last time. Barbara Jeanne xo

You Love Them One Minute The Next You Hate! (Should You Stay or Should You Go?)

There is a type of relationships that many people are in that can drive a person crazy. It’s similar to the yoyo relationship but this is when you are with a partner that one minute you are saying “I love this person, and I want to be in this relationship”, then a minute later you can be saying I hate this person, they make me sick to my stomach”. You go back in forth in your mind over and over that you start to drive yourself crazy. And what do you do? Nothing, you stay and keep trying to figure out if you should stay or if you should go. This kind of relationship is tiring, frustrating and can be very confusing. You literally want out one minute and the next they do something that you are back. So how do you handle a relationship that is changing faster than the time that is going by and you are losing? You need to evaluate the pros and cons. Get a piece of paper and write a list of the good qualities that give you reason to stay. Next make a list of the things that aren’t good in your relationship. What is making you want to bow out and call it quits? People stay in these relationships for years and all they are is miserable on the whole. What confuses them is the good moments with the bad moments and this can waste a lot of time. Before you realize you have done this indeed you need to do some soul searching. Don’t be afraid to make a change, you might make it harder on your life but you will leave the door open to find someone that you can actually enjoy and won’t drive you to “I love you, I love you not! Barbara Jeanne xo

12 Lies To Stop Telling Yourself (Live A Happier Life)

The worst lies are the ones we subconsciously tell ourselves.  They’ve been ingrained in our minds by bad external influences and negative thinking.  So the next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with your intellectual space by clearing out the old lies and negative self-talk you often recite to yourself.

Here are twelve such lies to stop telling yourself:

 1.I don’t have enough yet to be happy. – In every mistake and struggle there is a message.  Some people miss the message because they’re too busy berating themselves for the mistake, or fretting over the problem.  To be upset about what you don’t have is always a waste of what you do have.  The happiest of people aren’t the luckiest, and they usually don’t have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.  The reason so many people give up is because they tend to look at what’s missing, and how far they still have to go, instead of what’s present, and how far they have come.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

 2.My dreams are impossible. – Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.  The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions speak louder than your words.  Do something every day that your future self will thank you for.

 3.I am stuck with people who hurt me. – Life is too short.  Look out for yourself.  If someone continuously mistreats you, have enough respect for yourself to leave them.  It may hurt for a while, but it’ll be OK.  You’ll be OK.  Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength.  We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.

 4.My failed relationships were a waste of time. – There are certain people who aren’t meant to fit into your life.  But no relationship is ever a waste of time.  If it doesn’t bring you what you want, it teaches you what you DON’T want.  We rarely lose friends, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.  Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will surely create one for you.  And remember, when you’re up, your ‘friends’ know who you are, when you’re down, you know who your ‘real friends’ are.  It just takes a little time to figure it all out.

 5.Things will never get better. – There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s part of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.  When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.  Just because today is a terrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life.  You just got to get there.  Read Emotional Freedom.

 6.Failure is bad. – Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed.  No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.  Don’t get so hung up on one failed attempt that you miss the opening for many more.  All of your ideas that don’t work are simply stepping stones on your way to the one idea that does.   And remember, failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up.  Always get back up!  Oftentimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

 7.Great things will come to me effortlessly. – We are who we choose to be.  Nobody’s going to come and save you, you’ve got to save yourself.  Nobody’s going to give you anything, you’ve got to go out and earn it.  Nobody knows what you want except for you.  And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don’t achieve it.  Never leave your key to happiness in someone else’s pocket, and don’t wait on someone else to build your dream life for you.  Be the architect and keeper of your own happiness.  The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.

 8.My past is 100% indicative of my future. – At some point, we’ve all made mistakes, been walked on, used and forgotten.  We’ve let people take advantage of us, and we’ve accepted way less than we deserve.  But we shouldn’t regret one moment of it, because in those moments we’ve learned a lot from our bad choices.  We’ve learned who we can trust and who we can’t.  We’ve learned the meaning of friendship.  We’ve learned how to tell when people are lying and when they’re sincere.  We’ve learned how to be ourselves, and appreciate the truly great people and things in our lives as they arrive.  And even though there are some things we can never recover and people who will never be sorry, we now know better for next time.

 9.I never need to meet anyone new. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made.  People and priorities change.  As some relationships fade others will grow.  Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

 10.I can’t live without those who are gone. – If someone comes into your life and has a positive impact on you, but for some reason they can’t stay, don’t mourn for too long.  Be thankful that your paths crossed and that they somehow made you happy, even if it was just for a short while.  Life is change.  People really do come and go.  Some come back, some don’t, and that’s okay.  And just because one person leaves, doesn’t mean you should forget about everyone else who’s still standing by your side.  Continue to appreciate what you have, and smile about the memories.

 11.I’m not ready because I’m not good enough yet. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.  Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress.  Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today; it means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share.  You are ready.  You just need to start.  Read The Power of Now.

 12.I have way too much to lose. – In the end you will not regret the things you have done nearly as much as the things you have left undone.  Trust me, you’d rather look back at your life and say, “I can’t believe I did that!” instead of, “I wish I would have…”  It’s better to think “Oh well,” than “what if.”  It’s better to have a lifetime full of mistakes that you learned from, rather than a heart full of regrets and empty dreams.