Unhappy Relationship, Fix it or Leave It (You do have a choice)

I have written about being in a relationship that you are unhappy, completely miserable and you feel stuck but you don’t know exactly how to get yourself out of the situation you are in, or stay because you have the sure thing. I can’t stress the fact enough that we all have one life, one shot to achieve happiness. So do I condone cheating absolutely not, do I think it happens because people become extremely unhappy and it happens, yes. At times people go out looking for someone to cheat with, others it might not be what they are looking for but deep down it might be what they are hoping for. Sometimes people get into a relationship with a person and as time rolls on this person is no longer the person the met, fell in love with and if they knew this is what they would get they would have bowed out long before the total commitment. So what can be done to get out of this relationship that is making you miserable? First off you have to be honest with yourself and make sure it is them that are not putting onto this relationship. It is them that have changed and it is the other person that won’t seek help with you. And it is the other person that won’t change to make neither you happy nor the relationship work. If it’s them then you can clearly say they won’t change and now what and where do you have to go from here and make a decision. If it’s you that wants out and you already have made up your mind or both that have stopped trying then it may be easier to say that you may both may be unhappy and can bow out together. This makes is simple, you can both take a bow and close the curtain and move on. Either way what you should want for your life, as well if you have children is happiness. And it may be a hard thing to pull off but it is essential to have an outcome that you dreamed of when you entered into a longtime or lifetime relationship. Hopefully you always had the dream to be happy. You should want and deserve to have eternal happiness. So even if you may have your work cut out for you. There are steps to achieving this and as you read my articles I will guide you. It’s not a guide to cheating or breaking up a family or relationship but to be happy, that simple. Barbara Feola xo

Kissing Is The Essence to Great Sex (Women Want It)

kiss… When you are a young boy or girl it is important to think when you might receive that first kiss. You imagine when it will happen? When you have your first crush you think how would it feel to kiss them? Sometimes it happens very young when you’re 5, 6 or 7 and it just happens. It doesn’t mean much to you only that you kissed a boy or girl and that you may have liked it. As you get older that first kiss means more. It takes you to the thought that you have never kissed anyone before and will you know how. You may even practice on a pillow or ask someone that might know, like an older sister. Sometimes the first kiss like me was taken by surprise with not the boy that I really liked but the boy that liked me. He didn’t asked, we had been drinking and in the bushes (don’t ask me why) and we just kissed. My first kiss came in the beginning of 9th grade, kind of late right? Although I was a late bloomer in this department and although I had my first real boyfriend in my summer going into 8^th grade, I had no desire to kiss him. My first kiss came in the beginning of 9^th grade, kind of late right? I do remember being best friends with my first boyfriend. We were super close and I remember that I couldn’t wait to get home to talk to him. So why wasn’t my first kiss with him? Maybe I was afraid I wouldn’t kiss well? I did think back and I thought I must have not liked him the right way. I realized when I was trying to pass him to my friend so I could kiss the guy I liked. I do remember kissing and kissing boys for hours. But as for myself I kissed and not until I was with my boyfriend that I was serious did I advance any further. Maybe that is why I got so good at kissing. But it made the person I was. I made my boyfriend that I was with have the want to want me very badly. He hung around and waited but I ended up going to college without ever having sex with this boyfriend that I was with for 2 and half years and even got pre engaged. I know corny but it was what it was. In college right from the beginning I met the guy that I marry and although I did go on a dates, I ended up marrying this guy of my dreams, and he was shorty after. This was my first partner, and he waited and until we did have sex. We kissed and kissed and kissed and it was great foreplay until with finally had sex. Point being that we need kissing it is very important foreplay. Women have made men think that kissing is not important, or it is okay to get right down to business when it’s not. By opening up your legs ladies without that kissing foreplay is taking away good old fashion romance… kissing! What does kissing mean? It means that a man is into you. To a man kissing is very intimate. And practice does make perfect. For a little information, if you get kissing down right then giving head for both women and men will be given a whole lot better. Kissing is the stem of sex. Being kissed is extremely important being kissed from your mouth all the way down your body. Softly, passionately, all this foreplay brings you to having great out of this world sex. That is what we want to all achieve. If you are just looking to bang and bail, this is not even sex, it’s yucky. I have no other word because for a woman you’re being used. For a man you can’t be good. I had a friend that was dying to sleep with this really good guy that slept around. She finally had sex and she said he was horrible. So why would someone that had so much sex be so bad. Because he didn’t care about the girls he was with. So he is not taking the time to do or learn what he should be doing to make the women feel good. So a kiss is just not a kiss, it’s foreplay, it’s intimacy, it’s what you should be doing before you have sex with someone that you care about or at least really want to have awesome sex with. Men need to know how important kissing is and women we love it so we need to tell them, and if the guy sucks oh boy, that’s another article. But kiss, kiss and kiss…that will bring on better sex or love making. Barbara Jeanne xo

When You Can't Seem to Keep the Connection With the One You're Crushing On

Why does someone you like say one thing but constantly do another. They say how much they like you but you don’t hear from them for days, sometimes longer. They tell you how much fun they have with you but they don’t put the effort to see you very often. They tell you how handsome or beautiful you are but they are still out there looking. I hear people tell me they went out on a great date with someone and they come home only to see them back on line. The problem is, this is not just occurring with people that are just dating this is also happening with people that are in a relationship with someone. They may not be going on line but they don’t put much of an effort into the relationship with you. This can be very hurtful. Leaving the one trying or wanting more wondering what’s going on. So I did some investigating and put it together with what I know and here is what I have found. If a person is digging you a lot but is lagging on seeing you, calling and texting you they are not ready for a relationship. They are not ready for the commitment they know it and figure why go there. When they do go too far and get to close, then they back it up so far you seem to be at square one leaving you thinking “what the f***”. So if this is the case you can either wait around hoping they will want a commitment somewhere down the line or get on the horse and start looking around for what’s out there. Do the same as well if you feel you are not what the person you are into is looking for, continue to look. Remember you are not plan B, or any plan besides being the one and only. The bottom line a good healthy relationship should start off effortless. If you are having troubles out of the gate know this is a red flag. Stop and think is it going to be worth heart ache and break up, because most that start like this ends this way. Look for the healthy person that is ready for a committed relationship completely. That is when you will love, or be a heck of a lot closer! Barbara Jeanne xo

You Found Someone Special but May Not Feel Ready For a Relationship! (How to Handle This)

Sometimes you do find yourself in a situation that you come to like someone. You weren’t looking but somehow this person had touched you in a way your head and maybe your heart, just a tiny bit is saying you want to get to know this person. But maybe you just broke up with someone, or you know you’re not looking for a committed relationship although you know this person that you have gotten to know a bit is. They are not looking for casual but looking for something substantial. So what do you do, walk away and keep thinking you’re just not ready and let a good think pass you by. You know that is this type of person can’t stay single for long and why could they be single in the first place. You can either walk away or move on when the timing is right you and chose who is out there then, or you take action. I would say take action, but how? I would express how you feel. Be completely honest and say that although you weren’t looking,” I like you”, can we take this slow? Stating that you really like them and that you do want to get to know them but aren’t in the best place for a relationship gives you a chance to keep this good thing going if they agree. All you have to do is keep in touch. There are so many means of touching base. It takes two minutes to let them know that you care and you are thinking of them. See them slowly but keep the communication open. That is very important. What you might get if you do this, is the person you were meant to be with…your soul mate! Barbara Jeanne xo

Their Hot & Their Cold? (The 411 of what do on both sides)

I’m not sure what is going on between two people that are trying to have a relationship and they seem to be running into road blocks. These are road blocks that are coming from within. Not always problems that they are going on between you the person you are trying to date. It’s as if they are actually one of the two is hot and cold. Just as that Katy Perry song goes, it rings with such truth. The lyrics say “you’re in and you’re out, you’re up and you’re down. You don’t know what you what. Mean time you are crushing and hurting the person that probably really likes you. They may be even falling for you. And here you are dragging them though your own struggles of maybe commitment issues or you may not be sure this is the right one for you. Maybe you might not want to put all your eggs in one basket and leave you options open. If you are in the field for shopping and not ready to settle down with one person, don’t start. However the union might last for it will not work at this point because two people have to be on the same page for commitment for one. Like each other enough to give it an honest chance, two and three you can’t be selfish. If you don’t really want a person but don’t want to lose them that is horrible, you are keeping this person for plan B. Which nobody deserves this and it’s no way to start a good healthy relationship. And plan B usually very rarely turns into plan A. So if you aren’t ready neither gender don’t to the flirt and dip. That means you keep them hanging on enough to want you and keep them right where you want them by your side. The only nasty thing about this is, is that you are being nasty and not a nice person. Si if you are not ready let go until you are and when you are ready your good karma will bring you a healthy relationship and it’s what you deserve because you did the right thing. (Next article. When you are in this position but you really like the person but you are truly confused, what to do.) Barbara Jeanne xo