Fact or Myth: Married couples have MORE sex than singles?

Fact or Myth: Married couples have 25% to 300% MORE sex than their single counterparts depending on age.

Believe it or not – that’s a fact! Contrary to popular belief, married couples actually have quite a bit of sex! So why are all the married couples trying to improve their sex lives? That’s because it’s about quality, not quantity. Married couples often have less satisfying sex than their single counterparts because things simply get boring. Here’s how to make all that married sex count!

• Make Time For Great Sex. Sure, you’ve heard it before. You might be thinking, “Not bloody likely!” But with the every day demands that we face, such as work and children, sex with our spouses often gets put on the back burner. Well, you’re going to have to make time for sex if you want a better, more satisfying sex life. And not a quickie – chances are, that’s what you’re already doing. Make time for good sex.
• Resolve Your Conflicts. Every married couple has conflicts. But when you and your spouse argue outside the bedroom, those feelings of anger, hurt and frustration often get carried into the bedroom. These feelings can affect your sex life in numerous significant ways. Spouses who have regular conflicts with each other don’t feel as emotionally close to their partners, making it difficult to totally open yourself to great sex. Resolving your conflicts with each other before getting busy can help you to feel emotionally and physically open to your partner, often resulting in mind blowing sex!
• Exercise Together. Exercise is a great boost for the libido, and exercising together? Even better. Not only do you get to spend time with your spouse that you ordinarly may not have been able to do, you also get to see them all hot and sweaty…well, you get the picture. In addition to the sexy, sweaty fun, exercising regularly (and eating a healthy, nutritious diet) will help keep you fit and attractive to your spouse.
• Flirt With Each Other. Remember when you and your spouse first started dating? There was lots of flirting going on, and neither you nor your partner were sure what was going to happen next. That fun, exciting feeling of having no idea of their next move often gets lost when you get married, mainly because you know exactly what is going to happen next. You can improve your sex life by bringing that flirty, fun feeling back into your relationship. Go to a bar with your spouse and exchange some witty banter and see where it heads.
• Be Completely Spontaneous. For the same reason flirting can often revv up the quality of sex in a marriage, so can a healthy level of spontaneity. Instead of going home for the night, just keep driving and see where it leads you. Surprise your spouse with a hot hotel room for the weekend, or wear a new, sexy pair of undies. If you usually wear boxers or panties, try wearing a string bikini or a thong. It doesn’t matter what you do, just be creative and break out of the norm. Surprise your partner with something totally unexpected, even if it’s something small.

Love's Out There...How To Find It!

Between all the people that ask me to fix them up along with all the single people that I talk to, I know people desperately want to be in a relationship and in love. So if this is the case what’s making it so hard for two people to connect? Is it that we are selfish and unwilling to change our ways to accept another into our lives, or could it be that we expect people to like us for who we are and if not too bad. No, not really it’s too bad for you. You are the one sitting with a friend, alone somewhere or on line at home. Where you’re not… is in someone’s arms holding you. If being in a relationship and in love is what you really want why aren’t you there? This is something you need to ask yourself without putting blame on anyone else. I do believe it is hard to mate two people that will make it forever after, but there are many singles that could have more of an open mind to give another a chance. Yes you have to be physically attracted to this person you are dating, but did you ever think that their personality may make them look more appealing. The way they treat you could make you fall in love with them. A person that makes you laugh and that you can be yourself is someone that you should think twice about keeping around. Don’t judge so hard to the point that you are harsh, you would not like to be judged to the point someone else is picking you apart. No one would like to be thought of as not being good looking enough, thin enough, tall enough, you get my point. A person in love is willing to make their partner happy in doing so they may change something that may bother you. Here’s a quick story, in high school I dated a guy because he had beautiful blue eyes and was a lot of fun, but other than that he needed help. I started going out with him, not to change him but we girls always turn a guy into a bit of what we like. Anyway I cut his hair, took him shopping and he looked like a million bucks to the point that all my friends now thought he was hot. So take a chance on someone you might not. If your personalities click you may be able to take it to the next level. You have the choice to either be alone or open up your life to those that might open yours to love. Barbara Jeanne xo

Are We Living Or Just Existing?

I once watched this movie The Never Ending Story, although a children's movie, it left me with such an impact. Year’s later still on mind, I felt the need to pass the moral on. In the movie a young boy was searching the land to find the big nothing to save the beautiful princess. Failing with nothing left for him to do, he went to her and said I cannot save you, I do not know where to find the big nothing. She spoke in the most gentle voice and said, my child, what you are searching for is inside you, in each and every one of us. People loose themselves by not following their hopes and dreams, until they feel a darkness overcome them, leaving them feeling empty and lifeless, and that my friend is the big nothing. As children we dream of what we want to be when we grow up. Some of us have dreams of becoming a movie star, rocks stars, even the president. At what point do we let go of our dreams and desires and settle. If people are having such a ball in life, why are so many of us on anti-depressants for anxiety and depression. Hearing and seeing people looking so gloom makes me ask the question, are we living or just existing? Growing up we are so carefree, having the time of our lives. Hanging out with our friends, experiencing our first love, Life seems to be going good at an early age for most of us. Somewhere down the line reality sets in and here we are all grown up with obligations, decisions and with that comes pressure. Soon we realize life isn't so fun. You might be blessed to have that six figure salary, or maybe more, or struggling with that job that is barely getting you by. Sure having money helps! Either way, are you chained or feel trapped to that job that you may or may not like, but still must be there each and every day, or the family you have to support? And no, I'm not saying you don't love them. All you single moms, or moms that feel way over their head and not happy. Most of all chained to all those bills that are stacking up and tend to keep coming. That brings us back to our jobs. So if life is a big cycle and if so how do we get off and start to enjoy and live our dreams again. We know as adults it comes with responsibilities but does that mean we need to lose the child in us. I mean the playfulness of our youth. It might be a bit late to be rock star, super star, but feeling like one just might due. So how do we get there? First off let’s start simple, do something you did as a child that you loved and it probably doesn't cost much money because let’s face it most of us didn't roll with a lot of cash back then. Next dream! We dream at night, why not carry our dreams, at least the good ones into the day. So start dreaming with your eyes opened and maybe, you can turn your dreams into reality. We need to start to live, find a way to enjoy life again and leave behind the feeling of just existing behind! Life is too short and you deserve and are worth to be happy! Barbara Jeanne xo

Online Dating, Finding The Right Person (Your Soulmate)

This is not the first time I am writing about this topic but it needs to be addressed until on line dating sites get their act together. Yes there is the option of choosing what you are looking for. Being if you are looking for a relationship, long term, fun and we have to remember dating is going out on a date. Dating is totally different then a relationship. Maybe that is the problem, we need to separate the sites and make them exactly what they are, so there is no way of crossing or mixing signals. I have been on a sites and men do say they are ready for a relationship when they are not which causes a problem.  Also men state that women want sex and only sex, not wanting to lose their alimony. So they are content with sex and a date. So there is a problem already. Women want relationship on their terms and men may not be ready or one woman isn’t enough. Whatever the case may be both genders are having trouble period. They talk to someone then they are on line talking to another leaving you confused but keep on mind you are on a dating site. When I talk with my close friends, clients and friends from my sites going through such crappy times trying to find love on line and what choices they have and how they are treated it is sickening to me. I have friends that get addresses that don’t even exist when they get there. Friends that get stood up, even a friend that was invited to a wedding was dressed and looked stunning the only problem was the person who asked her to go never seemed to arrive to take her. I see and hear people talking about sex back and forth without even having a date yet sending sexually pictures. It is fun to flirt and yes we are adults but we are also ladies and gentlemen. If you are trying to find someone on line then geez take the time to get to know them. Don’t be so fast to jump on a date with someone you haven’t taken the time to talk to. That is when you get a date with the crazy drunk or the potty mouth talker.  Leaving you thinking what did I get myself into? You would have known if you only listened and took the time to talk instead of spending all the time talking and acting sexual with your goal to be with them. So what happened to the knight in shining amour looking for the beautiful damsel in distress? Women are allowing to be stood up and accept the excuse and try it again. Women accept the repeat offender, that is someone that did an asshole move and said let’s try it again. The women go for it, after being treated less than expected and we know how we want and should be treated. Men included, there are men who treat women like princesses to have the women not appreciate when they are giving it their all. Why are we accepting less? Why do we keep going back to people that have done wrong to us, or is not treating you how you should be treated. You don’t hear from them, you may even know they may be giving someone else a whirl and all of a sudden they are back and you get so excited. It seems that dating sites are running a mock, with one night stands and a series of short relationships, or shall we call them encounters. Something is terribly wrong. What can we do to fix this mess that has become of on line dating? Morals are a good place to start. Pride, know you are worth more than an instant message or an e mail here and there. Love yourself, you know how you want to be treated don’t accept less. I believe there are both men and women that are looking for the always and forever but make sure the person you are digging is on the same page with you. This saves a lot of wasted time and heart ache. If you want long term don’t settle, and have an open mind and heart. The person that would be your soul mate may be passed up by standards or a blocked mind. Remember the most important thing is to find love, what does that mean? You want to be loved and when you find that you will find a relationship and maybe even a soul mate. Barbara Jeanne xo

Sick to Your Stomach of Your Relationship (On line & Looking Already?)

It is very hard to understand in a relationship that was once so loving has now turned into a cold, careless and bitter union. You two use to mesh so will, enjoy each other’s company and being together was something that was wanted. Now it seems when you talk you can see them squirm not wanting to have a conversation with you, as you do a bit of your own eye rolling when they are speaking to you. Their voice is annoying, their presence is irritating and this is a relationship gone wrong. Where and when did it start falling apart and do you want out or is it worth trying to fix the problem? This is something that needs to be addressed before you move on and start outside activities. It seems these days’ people begin to flirt on line; join dating sites and acting inappropriate. I know people who have a significant other and have conversations with the opposite sex which is normal. You can talk to someone without the intent to meet. You might be open and explain that you are not happy in the relationship you are in. Sometimes you need to vent, you may even think what if. Acting on it before you close the first chapter is not right. In this case you have two options, tell the person you are in that it is over and you want to move on or you want to see if you two can mend what you once had. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. It’s not only morally the right thing to do; you have to remember you loved this person at one point. It’s not fair that you move on and forget to tell your partner so they are able to do so as well. If you do want to try to save your relationship you need to stop going on these sites mingling trying to see what’s out there before you are single. Remember karma, it’s real and what goes around does come around. Don’t do to others you would not like done to you. Barbara Jeanne xo