Making Love Last A lifetime!

Finding love in today’s society is hard. Finding love to last a lifetime is even harder. Maybe we would have a better chance of surviving if we put a few things on the table and be up front and honest why relationships may not work. First off we have to remember when you are with someone you are no longer just you, you are now we. We have to push our selfishness to the side. If you feel this person that has come into your life is someone that you may want to give it a try to build a lasting union, you must give it your all. You must also open your life and most of all your heart to accept this person completely. That means for their good and bad, that is what we start the vows with. The deeper the love and the stronger the relationship goes you may now say for sickness and in health. This means that your love for this person is growing a tighter bond. Last we have for richer and poorer. If you are in a relationship and you have doubt of any of these questions, before you walk down the aisle and stand at that alter this is the time to bow out. If you are living together you still have to feel this strong connection, or you as well will be ending before for always and forever. Although you may not get married, you still may want to grow old together. If you feel you want to live a curtain status then that is your choice and should move on to find what you are looking for. So many people stay in relationships for longer than they should because they get lazy. People stay for many reasons, not being able to make it on their own, children or the biggest they’re afraid to be alone or may not find someone. You know what you have; it may be scary to know the uncertain. Some people go into relationships and marriages that if it doesn’t work out they can get divorced or leave. You should have the mindset that you are going to be together and there is no other choice. There are a few things that may help your union to stay together. One being that you must love this person with care, tenderness and no judgment. Listen to your partner, romance them, hug them, kiss them and treasure them as if they are precious. Both men and women are no different we both need support, just may be in different ways. The most important thing is love. Loves like you love yourself. If you don’t love yourself work on this first. This will give you a better chance in finding love to make it last for always and forever. It may not be that fairytale romance but it might just be true love. Barbara Jeanne xo

How To Make Internet Dating Successful!

If you chose to do online dating, here are some tips to having a more successful chance of meeting the right person and not be just a waste of time. I myself took a whirl of online dating while doing a lot of research at the same time. I have to say I did well and met some really nice men. I also know people who have been on for years and are unsuccessful. Why? It may be because they are looking for something that doesn’t exist or their expectations are too high. People are not perfect. You might get a great looking person with a ton of baggage. We all have a bit, but if it is so heavy that it is holding the person you are in pursuit, down, it’s time to let them go. It will be very hard to have a healthy relationship with someone holding on to their past. You also have to check your own baggage as well to make sure you are able to move forward. Once you have done this, check your profile. The pictures you put up are very important. You want to smile. A smile can say a thousand words. Are the pictures inviting, warm but not to advanced. Everyone goes for the hot pictures, but you got to see if they are recent. Pictures can be false so if you begin to talk to someone try to get a new shot sent to you phone. That is the good thing today almost all phones has cameras. Now you want to see who the person is behind the picture. Ask questions about them, what they like. Try to get detail answers if you are really interested in getting to know them. The number one complaint that I got was that the person they were talking to and met did not look like the picture they had seen. So be honest. I know it may be hard to be completely honest with your whole life but it is important with the essentials. That means, if you have children, if you are divorced but most of all if you are still married. It is only fair to let the person know so they can enter the relationship knowing the truth. Next, don’t wait too long to meet. If you keep getting the run around, as I said before “let it go”. Something isn’t right if they keep making excuses to why they can’t meet. If it turns sexually right away, I’d slow it down until you meet. This one is no ifs and or butts, do not have sex on your first date. I am saying this more to women. It does not give a good impression first off and why buy the cow, when there are so many cows to choose from. I do not mean to disrespect. Yes you are ladies, so please act like it. Men, you are not off the hook you too can say no, because when you act like you like a women and bang her and bail, it hurts. You have to be on the same page for your relations with this person to work. So be you, be honest and have fun. Men are looking for a woman that looks nice, has a good heart & is fun. Women are looking for a nice guy, to make them feel special. They also like you to take a moment to say hi, and when you are together make them laugh. Don’t over think what if. If you find someone you really like, don’t keep thinking your will find something greener because you won’t. It is hard to connect. When you do find that special someone try and hold on and see where it goes. You never know they might be the person you have been searching for. Last but not least if you are married, in a relationship or just browsing for fun…STOP!  Give the people who are truly looking for love a chance. Barbara Jeanne xo

Are You In An Abusive Relationship? Get Out!

Many people are in abusive relationships, some know it and some don't, but worse of all they stay. First off being abused is not just hitting or physical. It is mental as well and can be just as painful. So if you are not sure if you are in an abusive relationship, let me give you some tips. Does your partner put you down? Do they belittle you; make you feel as if you are less than nothing. Do you feel as if you cannot be yourself? Afraid of what your mate might say or fear of them laughing at you. Do you feel ignored, not loved as if you are not important? This is abuse. You do not have to be punched, kicked or have visible signs to say you are in a abusive relationships. Next is how to allow you to let go and release your mind and body from this torture. That is what you are going through. You need to know it is not healthy and deserve a better life. So first you have to learn to disenchant yourself from this person. You also need to realize they are not good to you or for you. Start doing things to make you feel good. Dance, sing, laugh, and learn to be you again. You need to start doing things on your own will hopefully help you to become stronger. It will be one step closer to healing and being out the door. If you need help doing this, seek professional help. When you finally get yourself away from this person and look at your situation from the outside you will see how unhealthy your relationship was and be able to move on to a healthier one. Lastly, let go of your past so that you can start over with a healthy future xo Barbara Jeanne

Being In a Relationship Doesn't Mean You Should Lose Who You Are

So many people who go into relationships seem to forget they have a life outside of being a couple. You might find other couples to share your togetherness with. For the most part other than working and maybe an occasional night out with the friends it’s all about you and your honey. It’s great if the two of you want to spend every minute together but at some point you have to get back to reality and go out and do what you did when you weren’t a couple… be you. You might say you are being yourself not realizing that being in a couple you lose a part you. I am not saying that you can’t be together if you enjoy doing this every moment, but somewhere down the line you got to go back to the gym, go shopping alone. Have your time, for what? Anything, meditate, girls look in the mirror and do all your personal grooming. There’s got to be something that you did all the time or at least a lot that you are not doing now. Men, I’m sure you would like a day here and there to be messy, watch the game, or veg without someone saying a word. I have been in a serious relationship since I was 16. Went to college, married in college and have had my share of the person that we liked spending every moment together. The surfer that we lived together but gave space to be ourselves and the long distance relationship spending a couple days a week together. I do think it is very important to hold your grounds and not to have the feeling of losing your identity. I am not saying there is a time limit to how much time you should spend with your mate. I am saying you do need you time, it’s not only healthy, it should be a must. XO Barbara Jeanne

Your Choice of Drug. Does it Really Chase the Blues Away?

Today’s society can be very demanding and a bit much to swallow. Between all the money we owe, the bills stacking up and family to provide for many it may become overwhelming. It can be quite challenging for even a single person to support themselves. All this and the fact of how depressed our society has become we have a majority of people popping pills or dipping into many drugs. What happens when you get someone that is depressed and dips into their choice of drugs they desire? A dysfunctional person that can barely or no longer take care of themself let alone a family. It could happen that you party as a couple and one takes it too far, or alone but either way the drugs seems to take you worries away. Next what happens is you get addictive and some are lucky to be able to stop, others aren’t as lucky. Those drugs get such a grip on a person they lose sense of anything else. What is sadder is that unless you are wealthy enough to have the money to put yourself in a rehab you’re screwed. I guess this country feels that if you start doing drugs, you should have known better and you are a loser. Not having the compassion that maybe they did drugs because for some reason or another they cannot handle life and the use of drugs has altered their brain that they now need medication. We spend so much money taking care of other countries when our country has so many problems and issues that we need to tend to. One being shelters for people that well help a person in distress. You might say that is what hospitals are for and very untrue. Hospitals don’t deal with drug addicts they are their only to make sure you are not dying. If for some reason you end up in a psychiatric ward they over medicate you and send you home. If you are in this situation or know someone that is first off they can only be helped if they want the help. Second if you love this person help them as much as you can but don’t let another suck the life out of you. That is where our country has gone wrong. I see a lot of veterans walking around in a big old mess and I take the time to talk to them. They are all messed up from wars without any help. There is not much you can do for an addict but hopefully someone that has a say in our society will realize it is a major problem in our country and give a helping hand. God only know are country needs help with this issue. XO Barbara Jeanne