Take A Little Piece of My Heart

When you are hooked on a person, you give them your all. Anything to make them want you, like you, loves you, but even with all this sometimes it seems for nothing. You still are having major heart ache. Sometimes they show no emotions as well. All you feel is as if they took a little piece of your heart. So what do you do, give up? No... you try even harder. Does you succeed? Nope! You feel heart broken, hurt and all you have is a box a tissues in your basket from crying. Still you are not willing to give up, wanting to try anything to make this person love you. You try to make them feel so special, you think "they just have to love you". Nobody could possible love them anymore than you. So what do you allow them to do ...is taking a little more of your heart. Still unwilling to give up, you try everything. Dress to impress, cry and act a mess, but nothing gets this person you have seem to have fallen deeper for in this turmoil that you made yourself. All you have is a broken heart at this point and no love. So what do you finally do? Kiss them good bye, turn around and Let Them Go, but before you leave...Grab Back Your Heart, all the pieces you gave away to them. It may take you awhile to put the pieces of your heart back together...but at least you have all the pieces of your heart to do so. And when you finally are ready to love again, and the right person does comes into your life and wants to love you....You will be able and ready to give your heart away. All of it fully and completely. Remember you heart is big enought to love many people, so love because it feels absolutely fabulous. xo Barbara Jeanne

DATING WITH CHILDREN

Someone asked me to write about this, with this subject that may be a bit touchy for some, I'm going for it. I figure many go through this situation, so I figure I would touch base with it. Here's what I have learned and I believe. In the beginning, you have to use your judgment. Some people feel that they don't want to bring their children around until; they know that it might be a lasting relationship. Others feel that their children know that they are divorced and they are looking and want to be up front and open. Meaning, the parent tells the children, mom or dads are looking because they don't want to be alone. If they are age appropriate. It is whatever works for you. I do think that some people, especially men stay in married mode, or family mode, and do not realize that day to day family thing that you once had, does not happen anymore. Even when men tend to date, it is still so much about the ex and the children. Yes children do come first but they are called your ex... Well because they are no longer with you. If you meet a person and date for a while, there is a problem, if you want only to have children time and date time and never cross the two. That equals no progress. That you are getting your intimacy part of your life fulfilled but that is where it ends. That is not fair. Both parents must realize that you are not married, so you can't keep they family atmosphere going. You need to move on. If you feel that you want to still act as a family for the sake of the children stop.  You should have thought of this before and stayed a family. I had a four year relationship that they were so codependent, they met when they were kids and didn't know how to let go. She didn't want him at all to boot, until I came into the picture, then we couldn't get rid of her. For an example I dated a guy for a couple months and he was the one that left his wife and still was so obsessed about the kids, it was unhealthy. To the point, he was going to move an hour away to move next to her again. She’s is trying to get away, he is following. That is kooky, I'm sorry. You need to be the best parent to your child, children, and period. Love them, care for them and have their special time. You cannot make up for time lost that you are not with them. You can have the best time when you are together. Kiss them when it’s time to leave and know you are a part of them as they are of you. You are in their heart as they are of you. Of course you miss them during the week. You do need to treat the woman you are dating special, even if it is for the night. It should not be about the children, but about the two of you. If you do want to take it slow that is fine but if you are not ready to let go, don't bring someone into the mix. Make time to date and know that you should be looking for love again. Love is what makes your life thrive and strive. Just because it didn't work out, doesn't mean it won't again with someone else. Love is so beautiful, it should be fun. Looking for love should be the same. So what you had was once a beautiful union, you two had children together but for some reason, it did not work out. Let it go. Move on and do try to love again. So make time for it. If you are worrying what your children are telling your ex, you have not let go. If you decide to mix the children with a date or someone you like. Say exactly that. I'm bringing a new friend. I am not sure, what is going on, but I like them. Communicate with your children. They know more than you think and by treating them like babies keeps them more confused. As long as the person they are meeting is nice, fun etc. You will be fine. Take it slow but DO SOMETHING!!! XO Barbara Jeanne

Coming Around Again..Love

When you have a broken heart, life seems like it has stopped. You are almost a vacant lot in motion. Doing what you have to do with just a hurt mind, heart, soul and body. You are almost unable to function. Getting by with what you need to do. Crying on the inside an outside, just feeling extremely hurt.  Your friends or support person tries everything to get you to forget, or to get you to be you again. The friend they know. All you can think of is the hurt you feel. At times it feels good to play sad break up songs, over and over. Wondering when you will feel better. See the sun, the rainbow. If you are willing to play the game, love will come around again. It is just like the song "Itsy Bitsy Spider", the rain washes the hurt away and the sun comes back out. So as your hurt, know that it will eventually leave and you will be able to love again. So it is okay to fall apart, but it is important to have an open heart...to love again. A lot of people, especially men, don't want to feel the hurt they once felt for that special woman they gave their heart to. So they don't or won't give their heart again. They won't even give their heart to someone that they know would be the perfect person for them. This is very sad and tragic; because love is the most essential thing that each of us needs in our life. We are built to be with one another. Meaning, two people are to come together as man and woman. That is why Noah had to bring two of everything. As with people it is the same. We need to bond with the opposite sex. The thing is that we are making it so hard on ourselves. We want our mated to be someone that they are not, or a certain person, a perfect person. Instead of loving the person for who they are and know no one is perfect. The main thing I want to remind everyone. Stay who you are. Everyone changes, but not change to the point that you are a completely different person. That is one the biggest things that was said in a survey, people want the person they fell in love with. So be you, and remember, you don't know where or when but love is going to be coming around again. You just have to be willing to play the game. XO Barbara Jeanne

Broken Relationship, Repair It

The cycle of a relationship, that may make it go into a downward spiral. You have a couple, and of course as always, the two of you start out happy, having fun, being best friend, laughing carefree. Anything and everything they do is just so cute. You two become more serious, now all the cute things start to bother you. I hate to say this because I am a woman, but more woman than men start to do this. Picking on everything, they are doing wrong, even if it is in your eyes. The man finally gets tired of the situation and pulls back. The man starts tuning you out, does anything to stay away. Different rooms, little to no talking any sex. Then the one that has been nagging starts to get upset, why are they ignoring me? So it snow balls to where both people are resentful towards each other. I do feel men start the snowball in the wrong direction. First off, men realize this, happy wife, happy life. You need to meet her needs, you need to be unselfish. Communication is one of the most important things. Woman wants to know. They want to talk and connect. When woman ask, "how your day was", men...don't just say fine. Talk, tell them how your day was, even if you have to make it up, but talk. Men are created to have a woman to fulfill their lives. Men cheat because they are not getting fulfilled with sex. Women cheat because they want someone that listens. Woman want men to take the lead, not all the time but to care as much as the woman do about the bills, home, children. Women want the men to take charge in decisions, like where their man is taking them for a dinner date, even spiritually. Woman also wants to know they are a team that they are going through the problem together. Women want security that they will be taking care of, financially. Women want to know that their man can take care of her, emotionally and physically as well. I guess the whole package. Women want to know they won't grow old and be scared they have no one, or no means to take care of them. Women do not want have to worry about how the bills will get paid. Woman will work as a team but want to know that they will be taken care of, meaning that you have the means and security to fall back on. Lastly women want emotional security, knowing that no matter what your man not will leave. Men, you have to show you honey that you have emotions and tell your woman how you feel. That your woman is beautiful, make her feel beautiful! If you do these simple things, you will have a happy, devoted wife. For the single people, that is getting married later. They age is getting older and older. I fell one reason, is because of the fear of failure. The divorce rate is so high. Married or single, if you use this base rules you won't fail. Back to married couple. Don't start going out of your home to find someone that might look more appealing. The outside person may look fun, carefree, the person that you use to be with. So, give up with who you have. Always give it your all. Point being, is that you need to make it turn around. You can say this is bullshit, I can find a better person. There has got to be someone out there that is fun, doesn't nag and is the playful person that I use to have. The husband and the wife both think of the person who uses to show me so much attention. You can move on but you will get into the same situation, unless you change. First you have to say my marriage is forever. If just dating, you need to say this could be the person, I may want... the always and forever and make a commitment and stay committed. We can say happy husband, happy marriage, and happy wife happy life.  Women start to nag and talk down to their husbands, men wants a companion, a woman they can have fun with, and their best friend. They are built to hang out with their woman then their friends; they hang out with their friends because their friends don't judge. They actually rather spend time with their woman, even more so than their friends. Most woman forget to be silly and fun and becomes dull and not to fun to be around. Next men need sex, point blank and sex is not a dirty word. As great as a woman needs from men feelings and communication, man needs sex. In a survey, sex for women, came in thirteen on theirs and second on men’s. Men get in touch with their woman through sex. Woman gets in touch with men through their emotions. Woman, men need to feel that they are the man. Men need to feel honor, be praised. If you treat your man with praise and honor, the better they will treat and show you love. So men and women, if you wonder how any relationship works now a day, it is hard, but we make it harder. Try this simple things and if you practice this, you will be together...may be forever. Isn’t it worth these simple suggestions? To have the always and forever! XO Barbara Jeanne

This Is For Everyone That Has Been Cheat On

A very sensitive subject, but I'm hearing so frequently, and again today, I felt the need to write about it. There are times in a relationship that things have gone all wrong, it is at the end, it is just a matter of time before one picks up and leaves. Sad to say but you know it is going to happen, sometimes its mutual, which makes the split a whole lot easier. If you are prepared you can sometimes part, maybe... at least not as enemies. What about the couples where one is totally in the dark. They may know there are little problems, but nothing to say it is over, although that is exactly what happens. It is both men and woman doing it. A man working so hard to give his wife and family everything only to find she's having an affair and when she tells him, it is so nonchalant and says it with such little care. The person acts so done with the relationship as if their years of marriage and the children they had together, was something that happened. The love they have now found is just so much more rewarding; it is worth to throw away the years of memories. Also as well, is the woman that stays home with her two children, one still an toddler, just learning to talk, the precious years. Well, you would think...Nope only for her husband to come home and say I think I'm in love with another woman. While she is a loyal mom staying home taking care of her family, her husband is out without a thought of how he is hurting his family. So one husband and one wife, two different families, with one thing in common they are both being cheated on. With that, the people getting dumped or left didn't get the chance or choice in this life changing decision. Which seems so unfair? So that is life and we just have to....say okay...and move on. Even if two people are a couple, maybe living together, there are still terms of commitment unless you have an open relationship. If one wants to leave they go, it is just easier, because there is no binding contract. What is does leave each person being cheated on, or left, is with a broken heart. So we have all these broken hearts. Somehow, yes its life but still seems so unfair to the hurting person. So before you get to the point you are in another person’s arms or bed, think twice. Think of the person that you desperately wanted at one time. That they should without any doubt be owed the decency of being told, before you move on so casually. Leave them with just a little of their self-respect and not just a broken heart. To say you couldn't help it, you just fell in love and into the persons bed is bullshit. Keep you boxers, or panties on until you tell the person you are with that you are leaving. You might realize and you probably will that you made a big mistake and if you have a conscious, you'll one day wake up and realize you hurt someone that you cared about horribly. Do the right thing and be up front and honest. When you’re young in your teens and you cheat, you are still learning. As an adult you know better!  XO Barbara Jeanne