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Pleasing Your Mate Goes A Long Way

 When we start a relationship, we tend to be on our best behavior, which is good. Things tend to change as time goes by. We stop dressing as we did; maybe our manners slack a bit. Men may become lazy when it comes to us women and woman start to become more demanding. Then it seems to snow ball, in the way that both genders are not really fun to be with. Leaving us wondering if we really want to be with this person, and in most cases the relationship slowly fades. If the relationship has been going for a while, it takes longer and the nastiness sets in. First off, yes relationships do change but we hope for the better, to grow in a positive direction. If that does not happen, that’s where things go bad and it may end. I am not saying a relationship doesn’t have its ups and down, that is totally normal. I mean the meanness that comes out when we get disappointed in the relationship we have, that is not going our way. There is a solution, first off men stop being lazy, because you can be. It makes us women feel neglected and unloved. It makes women feel nice when you take time to ask how we are, open the door, hugs us like you never want to let go. Even a hug when you walk through the door would be nice. Oh yes men we woman like to be romanced, even if you are not in the mood, it takes seconds. How, seconds? “I missed you today”. Here is another one “I know I don’t say this enough but you are everything to me”. That is simple romance and it takes seconds. Women should do the same to her man. When you know he had a hard day, rub his shoulders, or even better give him the night off to just be him. No nagging no asking. He will appreciate it more than you know. These are just a few ways to keep a relationship to continue to go smoothly. You men will have is a content woman and women you will have happy campers as well in your men. Just that fact that we know that you men care, melts are hearts. So it has that snow ball effect, it makes us woman want to do for you men. So if you are keeping us happy we keep you happy. There are the people that can't be please, in this case that is a decision you have to make, by weighing the pros and cons. One last thing, it is important that you do take care of yourself. Men love you totally for your heart. Men want to feel like they are not judged and can laugh with the woman they are with. A best friend, that they can tell you anything and we woman would not make fun of them. Men are also very visual, did you ever here the saying. I like what I see? Men love to see pretty things that includes seeing you has a happy sweet person, makes him see you beautiful, not just by how you look but by how you act. The honest truth is that men like to see a woman taking care of themself and I don’t mean picture perfect. Men don't see flaws like woman do. Did your man ever say, she's pretty and you say what are you crazy, lol. Once again men do not see all the flaws! Men you’re included, stop wearing last year’s finest and clean yourself up. I don’t, want to be blunt or step on toes, just want to keep it real...both genders, you know how you are supposed to act. You know you should take care of yourself, and treat you spouse or honey with tender loving care. If you both took those three words seriously we would have so many less relationship problems. I’m not sending a news flash. Just a wakeup call! Barbara Jeanne xo  





In the dilemma of choosing who might be the right person for you. There are really more things to look at then chemistry, or materials things. Although very important, let us take this alittle further. The other night i went to see the movie LOVE, AND OTHER DRUGS. So if you think it is that simple, you are absolutely wrong, im so sorry to say. You must not only think for today but down the line. In my life I am contiplating the man to be my forever and always. This movie made my decision so much clearer. It is so easy to give someone advice but when it comes to yourself at times you can be blinded. This movie had two very attractive main characters and lots of hot sex, the kind that we would all love to be having. The sex you see on the screen that makes you want to well, have wild sex. Working through this part, and thinking ok, is this it, came a what if. What if you were sick, would it matter that you married the hot guy with the great job. That drove that fancy car. Or the sexy girl that all the guys drooled over but you got. So you got them, married them and to your surprise, you are not as happy as you thought you would be. You may have gained a few pound and they as well. And then the unthinkable happens, you realize you're sick. This is where it counts. Would they be there through it all. Love you enough to make you feel beautiful, when you are laying there all yucky because you did'nt have the strength to take a shower and more so would they shower you, brush your teeth, feed you. Lets keep going, no one thinks of sickness until it is upon us. For sickness and in health. Our society never seems to makes it that far, but sickness does not pick a age or a gender. so we have to make sure we keep this in mind when we pick out the person we are intending on spending our life wth. Maybe if we picked out that type of person from the get go, we would have our always and forever. That person that would brush our hair or our teeth, feed us and it would be their fight as much as ours. So when picking a mate I believe 100% that this should come into the equation. because when you are sick and i should know, but we'll leave that to another article. it is the most important thing. To have your mate comfort you, to rub your head, to hold your hand, to tell you everything is going to be ok, but most of all to be there by your side. That is love forever and always. love Barbara Jeanne xo



I am so surprised how relationships have changed. I know people want them, I hear this just about every day. But as fast as the relationship may start, it's about as fast as they seem to end. They are almost becoming existent. There are so many dating sites but I think people are getting a dating site confused with a relationship site. Yes you have to date to move forward to a long term relationship but somehow it doesn't seem to get that far too often. Although it may say check the long term box on the questionnaire, but for most part I think it becomes exactly what it says, dating. Then we have women and men saying they met the nicest guy or woman but I only see or hear from them once a week. A call here and there and a couple texts, to say hey, what's up? Just enough to keep you hanging on, while they are checking out the many others they see on how ever many site they might be on. At some point I talk with people that I think they are more interested in the high of talking to the person on line, then actually meeting the person. It's almost you can predict the persons evening. To come home, get a bite to eat and jump on line and off they are for a night of relationship with the person they choose to talk to that night. It might be a repeater from the evening before or someone new. Either way dating sites are turning to a night with a lap top and a stranger. People seem to be able to stay content with this more and more and it’s ashamed. If you do meet the person from a site, local bar, or where ever it might be and hit it off, what may be the problem that it doesn't go far? What I am finding from people I have counseled, is selfishness. People seem to be so self-absorbed that they don't want to give. They sure are good at taking but they are not so good for doing for another. Hardly with family and friends have we known all our lives, let alone a partner? Why, life seems okay, smooth, no waves, but one day you will realize you're alone. It may be when you are down on your luck and wish you had someone. It may come when you're older and not so good for the pickings. A man I once counseled said to me, when I was younger I didn't want to be in a relationship. He thought he was the **** and wanted to run and play, although already married. He then said, but now that I'm older and really want to find a nice lady, nobody wants him. He was 52, he passed at 58 alone. So are we able to get back love, romance, that old fashions love you always and forever? Absolutely! How? Love like there's no tomorrow, love like you love yourself. And love because being loved back feels absolutely wonderful! xo Barbara Jeanne

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