Relationships Takes Work, People You know This Going Into It?

Would you fuss over the person you are with six months from now? Would you wait for their call, knowing it would come right on time. Would you still do it six months from now? Would you make it a point to keep your sweetheart happy by doing all those little things that puts a smile on their face? Would you do it six months from now? Would you make sure you honey, your baby, felt your love and knew how much you loved them by you actions? Would you do these six months from now, a year from now, could you do this forever? Most peoples answer is they don't, they actually say...you can't keep doing all that, that's stuff you do in the beginning. In the beginning when you are trying to conquer the person you are desperately seeking. I am speaking both to men and women. You sure do everything to get what you want, but once you think or know you got that persons love locked down, men you get lazy and women you start to bitch. Men, I have to say you get the ball rolling by getting lazy, then women you jump in and start nagging. The whole relationship snowballs out of hand until both of you are miserable and want out. Why not try to do all those special things you do in the beginning. Men, like opening the door, telling your woman how nice she looks. Doing those entire little things she likes. I have a good feeling men in return you pretty little lady will do so much more for you without the nagging. So why can't you do all those things that you did when you met? Why after a period of time we start slacking? Why can’t we make it for six month, a year, or forever? You could if you wanted and if you did; your relationship has a better chance of lasting forever.  Remember a relationship needs balance, two people can't always feel the same emotions at the same time, but when one is feeling it more the others got to step it up, because when you are feeling it more you wouldn't want the rejection. To keep it easy get in the habit of doing those things to keep your partner happy and hopefully it will snowball in the positive direction.  XO Barbara Jeanne

If You Think I'm Sexy

If you think I'm sexy and you want my body, words of a number one song from one of our old timers Rod Stewart. I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts, said Right Said Fred. We also have an oldie but goodie Robert Palmer's, Simply Irresistible, stating how fine and sexy a woman is. The nineties kept the sexy songs going right though the 2000's and here we are up to March 2011, Burlesque, with one of a kind, Cher and Christina Aguilera, were Cher didn't think Christina's character in the movie had the right sex appeal to lure the crowd in. In the movie she had to prove herself, which she did indeed. So all over, and for decades we are saying that it is a good thing to be sexy, desirable and wanted. Yet, it is a hush hush subject or topic when it comes to women and men and their weight, and taking care of themselves. The word some people are trying to put out, which it is okay to be heavy and not take care of themselves. Oprah even after a million attempts now says F it, she has enough money, and she doesn't care. So she puts it out there that everyone should accept the person the way they are. I totally agree to an extent. First off, I heard a comedian recently said that Oprah has enough money to pay someone just to stand there and smack the food out of her hand. I am not here to say anyone is or should be perfect, but you should at least try to keep fit and take care of yourself. You will be happier, and you partner will be happier. I see so many wives saying she doesn't care and I also hear how them say, their husbands don't touch them how they want to be touched. Everyone wants to hear what they want to hear not what they need to hear. Staying fit is such an important part of a relationship. Being in shape gives you not only a healthy body but a healthier and happier mind. It also pleases your partner, you want to touch and be touched, you also feel more at ease and comfortable being touched, which in turn makes for a better intimate experience. It something people need to realize and to learn to accept the reality. Instead of making excuses, so you have the easy way out by doing nothing and say I like who I am, and people should accept me. Then please people stop saying in the dressing rooms, I can’t fit into anything. I need to lose weight. You weren’t born that way. Don’t put yourself in a category, you make who you are. It is not who you are, it is what you make of yourself. I know I’m being tough but it’s with love. The two top reasons people fall out of love is if they lose attraction for their mate and if their mate is nasty to them. You can listen, or pay attention to your partners when you are in public. If they are looking like there is something better, and you are feeling this. Chances are you are right.  Xo Barbara Jeanne

Here Is What I Learned, Guys & Girls... It Might Help

For the last two weeks, I have been doing major research. I wanted to see what is going on with people... couples, in there mind, hearts and what they want. I was searching what people are looking for in a woman, man, relationship or not. What people are desperately seeking. So I went to malls, restaurants, stores and of course the gym...anywhere people might be. In fact, I picked a few different departments purposely and I am bringing to you what I have learned. First I hit a couple restaurant and bars, and it seems that woman are still looking for that guy that is good looking and has money but more woman said they wanted a guy that treated her to breakfast in bed. Brought her flowers and was romantic. Yes chemistry is still on the top, it seemed to be what was most important. Next was sex...the sex had to be good. The guy doesn't have to be big, just work what what he has very well. Being small wasn't a plus... although... if they could go down on a woman and they are good at doing that then, they could work with that. Next, woman that are just dating are taking better care of themselves. They are wearing younger looking clothes, tight fitting and more stylish. Women with children came in more disheveled, not caring what they were wearing, most of the time blaming it on the children, stating they had no time for themselves. That may be the case, if it is you need to rearrange you time just a tad, so you too could take a few minutes to fix yourself up. Okay, you may say I'm crazy, but it is easy, you have to wear pajamas for bed, why not choice to wear a night gown, sweet, soft, comfy, yet sexy to bed. This is something you can throw on every night. You have to put on something. It's a quick change, wash yourself up and thrown on that little night gown and when you are frisky leave off the panties. So you have your children time but you can still go to bed looking pretty. You might not have sex every night but you honey will love that you do this. I am not say lingerie. I am saying either a pretty long or short night gown. Even cute pajamas will do. Take time to be you, the person they married. When you lose sights of the people you were before you got married that could be when trouble sets in. It is a bit harder with children, but I was taught always take care of yourself. Of course if you have a new born that is a completely a different story. You have to get dressed each day. So why not put something on that is comfy and cute. That should not only be important to your man, it will make you feel better with yourself... to take care of yourself and maybe lose those extra pounds. Which in the long run, will make you happier. I am not saying anyone needs to be skinny and a size zero, but be you. Don't lose sights on who you are. When you do this many women become unhappy. Then they begin to search for the old them being unable the become depressed. Stay focus on a piece of you. By getting yourself fixed up, you will be doing this. Let's go to men, what do men want...what are men seeking... a best friend. That the woman they met keeps the same personality. They like when you take time to take care of yourself, in their mind, they think it is for them. Because, when you two were dating, it was for them. They don't want to hang out with the guys like we might think. Men would rather have the companion of a female. They just want one that they have fun with and doesn't have major mood swings or changes personalities every five minutes. Men aren't looking for the perfect body, although they like a women that does take care of themselves. Top two for men, they want a woman that can hang like their best friend and chemistry. Men think of sex sex sex, only in the conquer stage. Once that is established, they think more about their work and what they have to do, then you. Not like you are the last, no they are the hunters, so they think of the things they have to do to support their nest. Men do love to be in love, just as much as women do. The only difference is that men would rather say alone nine out of ten, then to be with the wrong person. Men tend to avoid contact again, even if that means blowing off the woman and not calling her. Then to confront her to hurt her feelings or have any controversy. Woman will go into and stay in a bad relationship feeling stuck, like they cannot leave... where would they go? The answer would be anywhere then to be with a man that is not treating you right. Either way men and women are looking for love. Woman are looking for their night and shining amour and men are looking for their damsel in distress. The hard part is putting the two right people together, but that will be another story....xo Barbara Jeanne

Don't Pass up the Chance!

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

Does Life Give Us A Choice, Or Is It Written?

I wrote an article "Are we living or just existing" if you haven't read it, please do. It is in my articles, and one that was published. The article states do we follow our dreams, or somehow do we lose them and all we are left with is this overwhelming feeling of the big nothing. I saw a movie last night, I won't give the name, so I won't ruin it for those still looking to see it. In the movie the man was desperately trying to find a woman that he had met in a bathroom, but for certain reasons he was not allowed to seek her. Even though a higher power said he must stop, he kept on looking, with obstacles in his way. He never gave up. They say we have a path and are destiny is written and known before we are born. Is that always the case or can we change our path and our destiny? I truly believe we are able to change what was set for us. Just like the saying is said. Nothing is set in stone. The thing that puzzles me though, people have seemed to have lost the passion, that if it doesn't come easy, they are not willing to fight for it. Married people stay in non existing relationships. People continue to work in jobs they hate. As if they have no other choices. That is sad and not true. I am all for keeping the family together and to try to work it out. Life is just not about one sitting back and taking the ride. It is about driving, grabbing hold of the wheel and stirring to the path you desire. We have one life, we do not get a do over. We are not on earth to exist but to live. It is for fighting for the job that you want. If you do not speak up, they will give it to the person that did apply. How about the person you see at the grocery store, wanting to meet them but not thinking, I will never see them again. Taking that risk and going up and saying hello, asking them for their number, taking that chance. Taking that leap of faith and getting married, even though the divorce rate is through the roof. Maybe if we put as much effort as we did when we wanted that toy at Christmas, or that person you wanted before you conquered them. Treating them like you did the first day you saw them, when you were tongue tied and blushing. Your relationship would survive. As we sit and think every night how bored we are with our lives, sitting there with the television on and our laptop on our laps. It is as easy to grab your partner, a bottle of wine or your favorite drink and blanket. Sit under the stars. Do not listen to negativity of what you can't do, but focus on the things you want to do but didn't have the strive to succeed. Get out and do it. You can either sit back and let your life pass you by, or live and love with passion. That knowing you get one shot at life. I heard this saying and it stuck with me..."There are some that settle, some that settle for less and some that won't settle for anything less than butterflies". Live Life With Passion!