Broken Heart, Closed Heart?

Years ago when two people broke up , it was pretty much next, on to the next person. Now a days it seems so many people, especially men seem to keep all their baggage. That it is getting to the point that they seem to be pulling around enough hurt to fit into a big old trunk. Fillled with heart ache and bad memories that they can't let go. Especially if the man was married. See, I think men and woman go into marriage thinking two different things. A woman thinks, will if it doesn't work, there is always divorce. A man thinks thing out before he jumps into this commitment, usually. for him he is thinking more that this is always and forever. I have to say on mens behalf they marry a woman that is one way, but once that woman knows she has that man locked down, she changes into a differnet person. This has come from every man I have spoken to, married or divorced. Men, on womans behalf you are not attentive as you were when you were still making sure you had to get that commiment. When men get married, then start thinking that they have to take on the roll of taking care of another person and a baby, if they may come. So men start thinking of there plan more than having fun and enjoying their new life. I am not saying every couple, that would be too wide of a statement. So, woman can move on easily, and men struggle to give their heart again. So how do we fix these delicate promblem, to mend this situation. To start, we have to all learn to heal, men and woman, how? To let go and be able to move on. Talk to a professsional, someone you feel is wise, or even me. You need to talk. You can't heal if you don't get it out of you system. Next, date with an open mind. See each person for who they are, not what they might become. You know the signs to look for you are wiser and more mature as well. Woman want to love and be loved and men now want a casual relationship, so the don't have to give there heart. Or maybe get into another commitment and loose even more. Women need a reality check, your are not all that, when you harp on a man like you were his mother. You are not! All you are doing is making the man wish you would go away. Men, you need to be attentive like you were beforE you got the the ccommiment. So can we change the waY both genders think or feel? Years ago this wasn't a problem because men ruled the marriage. Not only do I try to get imformation for the young ,middle aged but the older folks. What I have learned from my own experience and from the older folks that have stayed together and is still rockin it. Their is going to be a period of time where men go loopey and act like a child or they rather not be married, but if you pass this immaturity, you will get a man that adores you. If there is a good base. Meaning, woman, you need to calm down on the potty mouth and where men can go when you are mad at them. Work on it and you have a better chance for it to be a successful relationship. If not you will end up going from one relationship to another until you realize both genders need to give. Until then, we will have the cycle of breaking up, moving on. Meeting someone, breaking up, moving, and the beat goes on. What is worse, is when your getting to the point that you are older, and may want a relationship, you have wasted your life. your youthful years turns into old age. Don't let a broken heart, become a closed heart and lose out in love. Nothing feels better tham seeing a couple in their 70's holding hands rockin love. Let that be you! xo barbara jeanne

10 Things to Please Men in Bed

1. Be confident. Don't start flopping all over like a fish because you are embarrassed if he touches you. Don't say turn the lights off because you don't want him to see you. Feel beautiful and sexy, then he will feel it too.

2. Wear something to impress. If you are in a long term relationship, it may be hard to shower and shave every night before bed, but even if you aren't going to have sex, it as easy to throw on a cute night gown or pj'sas it is to throw on and old tee shirt. It makes them want to hold you, touch you. Especially, if it is a satin, silk or a soft material, they will love to feel it and you. Plus it puts the thought of sex in their heads and you always have the choice to say, not tonight honey.

3. Walkaround naked after the shower, or when changing. No, not everynight, but once in awhile, That's the night you slip the sexy undies on. Then don't forget to apply your lotion. Bend over and let him see you tits hang and apply it sensually. Even if they are tiny winy, guys love it. 4 .Always end the night with a kiss a sweet dreams and a good night, guys dig that. It's a sweet gesture and keeps the communication open.

5. If argueing, settle it before bed, and if possible have some great make up sex. Spontaneous is good at times.

6. Believe it or not how you interacted during the day, is how they will feel about you when it is time to go to bed. It you bitched, nagged, and yelled all day, then all they are thinking is, I rather be in this bed alone. Especially if this is something common. After awhile, the man doesn't even want to be botherd. iI know men at times do crappy thing that you want to yell. Remember they aren't your child, so don't yell at them as they were. I'm not saying you can never fight, but choice your battles. Speak to them on the same level.Nobody would want someone that rags and puts then down all the time. Would you?

7. Praise your man during sex, you may have to teach them how to get there but always let them know they did a great job and you did cum like never before, well until the next time.

8. Make time for sex, quickies are great, but don't be huffing and puffing, like you can't wait for it to be done. Not only will it take longer because your man will probally go limp, but it is hurtful. we woman would not like it so, don't do what you wouldn't like done to you.

9. Ask your man what pleases him, licking his balls, alittle butt action, biting his nipples. Do the same for you, tell your man what you like. It will be easier to please both of you if you know what direction to go.

10. Don't lay there like a dead fish, moan, groan and act like it's the best thing since shopping at a really good sale and finding everything you wanted. Don't let him do all the work. Fuck the shit out of him. Go down on him like you love it. That will leave him satified and that will make him want to come back for more. It also willl make him come alot faster so you have more time for your much needed sleep. Only kidding!

Most men think about sex alot. The most important thing is when they do, you want them to be thinking of you. Not the girl he saw on the train, in his office or at the gym. You are the one that he should be thinking about, so make it that he does! XO BARBARA JEANNE

Getting the Man or Woman You Want

This one isn't too hard. The hardest element is, does this man or woman want to be in a relationship. If you meet someone and you two click and hit it off that is a great thing. Now there are a couple relationship breakers, one is chasing after the person. Let it come naturally. If it is the real deal, then it will. Second, nagging is another big one. Oh and let us not forget about being too needy or clingy. That is a no no. Other than those, it is how the two of you interact. First there must have been some kind chemistry; next, you got to have fun. That is a given. You have to make the other person have the want to see you. Either because they have fun with you, or you brighten their day or both. Both are a plus. Next you have to build. That is the comfort level that you can each by being yourself around one another. Then it's a plus if you wow them in the sex department. Woman want to feel their man can take charge and keep them feeling safe. Men want a woman that can keep them on their toes, keeping them to have the want to come back for more. I'm not just talking sex, but you making them happy. Last you both need to have the same goals, be on the same page. The page is commitment. If one is ready and the other is not how long until the other person is? That is a question you need to ask, because you don't want to waste time. Time is too precious. If it’s months, well ok that is not asking too much. But years...no! If it is right, there should be no hesitation. When it's right, it's right and there isn't any if our but. So when you want that woman or man, easiest way to find what you want is to make sure the person you are looking at or for, is on the same page. Then there is no confusion from the start. Which brings you in for smoother sailing? xo Barbara Jeanne

Make Men Want You Not Just For Sex

We all try to look beautiful like a girl from one of the shows like gossip girl, or maybe us older gals thinks Demi Moore is looking pretty good for her age. Not putting plastic surgery down, but she has had a pretty plenty amount. We see this magazine with pictures of girls and woman wearing all these cute, sexy outfits and we think, I would love to look like her. Then we go out and buy these items that make these people look so good. They don't quite make us look the same as the picture on most of us. These shows and magazine should have a caution across saying you cannot look like these girls. These girls do not even look like their pictures. So we know what is real. Real is someone that tries to take care of themselves and look their best. More important you have to be happy, happy with you and happy with your life. So how do we achieve this? We take care of our inside and workout our outsides. This means not just eating right, or working out but by being a kind caring person. Reflecting on your day, what kind of person were you. If your insides need attention, then see how you can help yourself. When you have a healthy heart and mind, you shine from the insides. Which in return it makes you shines on the outside. When you shine you attract people, including men...or woman, which ever you desire.. Men love to be around woman that are happy and love life. I am attracted to woman with kind hearts and who take care of themselves. They are not interested in the lazy sit at home no fun kind of gal don’t give a damn what I look like. Don't care what anyone thinks. That is a real deal breaker, for getting most men.  Most people are drawn to positive energy. It is something I have practiced all my life and I do feel it has made a tremendous difference, in a positive way. So look in the mirror and what do you see. XO BARBARA JEANNE

Sex Or No Sex?

Years ago, it was just a no no to have sex, it made things easy. Boys or guys didn't even ask or try, well they might have tried. All the girl would have to say is No! Now a day it is not that simple, boys are pressuring girl’s way before they are ready. The thing of it girls want to have sex, everyone is doing it. As adults, guys want sex not a relationship and woman have sex because it does feel good, well most of the time. As adults we get horny. You like someone and you have sex, but what if it is two adults and it is mutual, with no strings attached. Can it be that cut an dry. If both parties are good with it, then great, I guess. Truly, a lot of women have sex because they think that is how they are going to get the guy. It doesn't seem to help the woman that wants to have a meaningful relationship though. After the deed is done the man will forever think. She did it with me so easily, she did it with everyone. YOU can swear this just never happen, but he will never believe you. Yeah he was just that great or special the first time you met him. Or maybe it was your first date. Either way, you are dead wrong. That saying that has been around for years is true. Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free. Ok we are people not cows but the saying is true and dead on right. If you would hold out until you were in a meaningful relationship, not only it means something but it will be special. Your man will see you as pure and all men want their woman to be angelic like. They would at least like to think so. So, give it a try say no and wait. Maybe if we women did it as a whole we might get relationships back on the map. Think about it, as long as woman spread their legs man will not have to think I need to be in a relationship. We are given the men the power, an easy way out. Also, like I said which i hate to compare. Woman are like toys and when the man gets tired of the toy he tosses it aside for the new one but if he never conquers you tell he falls for you, you my dear will stay the precious new toy. To lead to a relationship that will last. XO BARBARA JEANNE