The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.
The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.

Dating Etiquette, Steps To Getting What You Want (Part 2)

I promised to myself that I would try to be honest as possible without hurting the ladies or the guys too much. I have to say I have done much research myself many years since college all the way up to this very minute. Okay, now men say they want to meet a nice girl and settle down but I see that men aren’t doing right by us ladies all the time. They are interest and the may come forward but then guys act flaky. Guys do not know how to treat a girl but because so many women accept so little they are learning they can get away with not treating a lady as she should be treated. Like a man asking a beautiful girl out that he meets in person on a date and then saying what do you want to do hang out at your house or mine? Are you kidding come on men? A lady on line saw a man that was looking to meet a woman and their was a women that was interested in him. She sent him a message and the man told her he drank a lot. When I asked him why you would say this, he said he was kidding but then I looked at his profile and he had written his life sucked, he was making 8.50 an hour and continued on and on about his life in such negative direction. This is too much information to give away before you talk to a potential date interest. I am by no way saying all men behave this way but many men I feel just don’t have the standards that yesterday men used to have. The manners they had especially if they liked a girl. You do not have to take a girl to the most expensive place given this economy but you do have to take her out. Ice Cream and a walk on the board walk. A bite to eat and a walk in the park, and when you do get extra money take her someplace nice if you like her. Women don’t expect all men can wine and dine you. If that is what you want then look for a man with money and enjoy. Women all know that you wouldn’t want to spend hundreds of dollars on a man. If you are infatuated in a man, woman do in fact do this and in this case stop and get help. I think we need to go back to some old fashion values, rethink of some of the good old ways that have gotten lost but worked in helping two people connect. To relearn how to treat a person with kindness and tenderness is what helps makes a successful relationship. Couples need to learn that an important part of making a healthy relationship is to give and take. To treat the person you love with respect and talk to one another as so. With some simple changes to show you care. We might be able to get back two people to connect and maybe work into having a loving healthy long term relationship. Barbara Jeanne xo


Dating Etiquette, People Do Want Always & Forever...Here's How (Pt1)

So many people are asking me to find them a mate. Almost desperate to find their always and forever, they ask me not to just find anybody; many men are asking me to find them a wife. The funny thing is that more men are approaching me asking for help. So although we can say both genders are having a problem connecting, men want to be in a relationship, so that’s good news for women. But why are men and women having such a problem connecting? Both genders seem they are having problems right out of the gate. For many it seems very hard for them to get a person that wants to meet and start up a relationship. When a person is single they fall in their own ways of living. Almost not realizing some of the things they do are a bit strange. Other want a relationship but put little effort in pursuing the person they are interested in. Also many times men and women both have this issue, going for many people at the same time. It’s okay when you are new on the dating scene not to rush into another relationship. Talking to several people isn’t wrong when you are trying to get back into the swing of things. If you have been on for a while without any success you need to reevaluate what may be going on that you haven’t landed yourself a date. Are you really looking for a live person, or just someone to talk to? Someone stupid enough to not realize you are just trying to pass the time away during the evening. As I said before some people become serial pre relationship people. This is where a person stays content just talking with very little interest of really meeting the person. Also many times one of the people you are talking to sees that you are on line and you are talking to someone else and not them. This is leaving them upset and probably a bit angry. So when you do have a conversation with them this is in the back of their mind. You see in their mind many feel they already are having a relationship of some kind with you. So you need to make it clear what your intentions are so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Remember don’t do to another what you would not like done to you. If you have moved on into a relationship and you are having a relationship with several people, it would be kind of you to send them a quick note, or even better tell them when you talk that you have met someone and want to give them the respect to know. Don’t play a person and try not to hurt feelings. Remember what goes around comes around and it always goes in one way or another. Barbara Jeanne xo (Part One)


Need to Talk? Right Time & Looking Your Best... Is Key

You’re mad as hell at your significant other. Maybe because they disappointed you, maybe they didn’t do something they were supposed to. It could even be you want to talk about your relationship not knowing where you two stand. Any questions that are of importance should be done in person. You can see what their reaction is first off. Second they can’t run away or leave as easy as it would be to hang up. Definitely do not try to text it. You will be more upset if they don’t even have the courtesy to text you back. I would do it only in person no matter how long it may take to see the person. If you are in a long distance relationship and you are having a lot of trouble or seeing red flags this is a good point to bow out and maybe find someone closer or new.  Another good reason doing it in person it doesn’t allow them to get back to you after they had time to think.  People can be rather cold when they do not want to talk or feel as if they are getting backed into a corner. As well as if they know they are wrong. One important factor is when you go into battle you have a better chance at the outcome being more successful with you looking good. So when you know you are going to have any type of serious talk, such as the break up talk. Do you still love me talk, or why did you do something that hurt me so. When they see you looking good they may have a second thought. I am not talking sexual. That does nothing. I mean be sweet and let them realize what they might be losing. Many people are hasty and can’t hold off which is a big mistake. Talk only when you feel in your heart the time is right it can make a difference of what the outcome might be. Barbara Jeanne xo


How to Stop the Bitterness In A Relationship

When you start out as a new couple, you start off with a clean slate. As time goes by things are said and done to one another that may hurt the others feelings. You don’t think things you may say are hurtful other times it is your goal to hurt your better half to the core. As time goes by you see your partner may start to have an attitude, snapping at you. It then begins to have the pattern of snapping back and forth. There is always the stronger one. The one with the more aggressive personality usually gets the better of the argument. Although as time goes by you are teaching you mate to be just as strong. Eventually you get to be two competitive people fighting nastily. You are now both hurting by each nasty word that is coming out of both of your mouths. Soon this once loving couple is snow balling in such a negative direction it is not likely that you will be able to turn it around. There is something that could be done that might help from the get go, it’s an old saying that we have learned since we were little. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This rings so true. It’s not always a verbal fight over what is being said, it could be something one is doing or the lack of doing that is driving the other crazy. Instead of stating what is the real problem we dilly dally around what is really bugging us. So we may be yelling for some crazy reason that has nothing to do with what is coming out of our mouths. So say what you mean, not just words to show how mad you are. In the long run it gets you nowhere but alone when you two decide to go your separate ways because you didn’t communicate. So it’s important that you do so. By having better communication, you have a better chance of holding on to this relationship. Remember it is also how you say it. So always try to say what you want with a kind heart. Barbara Jeanne xo


Finding Out Your Man Might Be Bi Curious

This may be a taboo topic but I think it needs to be addressed because it is happening to many girls including myself. What is the topic a straight guy that is bi curious? I’m opening up my life because a part of what I know is what I learned of relationships in my life. I was with this man for over four years never doubting, “my man”.  Women are going into a relationship with a guy with no doubt of this ever crossing their mind. That one day your man will act unusual, in what way? You may find men’s porn of his computer one day. As you look into it you may see that he may be talking to men in a sexual manor. He might have even put himself on a dating site, or have made himself an account to take it as far as talking or meeting these men. I can’t say why it happens but don’t think you made him this way. I remember when I found out the guy I was dating was trying to hug and kiss men. I kept telling him to stop it, that it’s weird. What made him change, when could it have happened. What could have made him curious? The only thing that I could think was he had just come back from being deployed for 6 months. While he was deployed he told me he watched a tri sexual porn that bothered him. I’m not sure if it bothered him or it intrigued him. All I thought was not only do I have to worry about women; I now have to worry about men. Geez, this was a lot to get a grip on. I knew something was going on, but it wasn’t until he was in the shower and his phone rang and it said it was a hotel. Being curious I answered only to hear the person on the other end asks for him and went on to say that he never arrived for his check in time but his guest was waiting. I was a bit frazzled. I wasn’t sure what to do, I was not one to snoop I do not believe in that behavior but at this point all my rights and wrongs went out the window. I went to his voice mail and I thought I was going to hear a women’s voice but the guest that was waiting was a man. Then I continued to listen and it was man after man. I thought what? Some of my best friends in my life have been gay guys but not one that I dated. At this point I gave it a bit more thought and he was so confused at this point I had to let him go. I did find out that he got involved very heavily. Point being if this situation is to ever occur in your relationship, you need to realize this is something that they are going through, not you. You are only part of it because you are in a relationship with him. You can make it easy for you and them and give them their life and time to figure out what they want and who they are. If you do decide to stay for that period they might ask you to swing. Eventually unless you love him that much to go with the flow, all I can say from the bottom of my heart and what I went through let it go. Barbara Jeanne xo